Help Me
by Lulu Hale
Summary: Pain... It never stopped... so I just took it. But what if I didn't want to take it anymore? Was that so wrong? Haven't I taken enough? JONAS Nick/OC HIATUS due to writer's block. Will return soon! Check out new story!
1. Chapter 1

Nick's POV

Pain… endless. It never left my side. It felt like a part of me now. It slowly came to my attention that I won't ever have another life without it. After it all happened, pain has been my only friend.

"Get up!" I tried my best to ignore Her. I just lied there, hoping She would go away. The only reason She was stronger than me was because _He_ was always watching, making sure I wasn't out of line. Of course, I would never hit a female even if She was beating the shit out of me. I'd rather take the pain over regretting not to take it any day. "I said get the fuck up!" She straddled me now, grabbing my neck and tilting my chin back as far as it would go. She was too close for comfort, but I've never felt comfort anyway.

"Mm!" I yelled in pain. She cracked my neck She was pulling it back too far.

"Don't be such a wimp," She said licking my jaw bone. I flinched, trying to jerk my head away, "Ah, ah, ah. Easy there." A knock on the door saved my life. I even flinched at the sound.

"Hello?" said a distant voice. It was my social worker! I was about to scream when She covered my mouth.

"Ssh, ssh, ssh," She said in a demented way, "Let him pass."

"Maybe we should answer," He said.

"And then what?" She whispered.

"I don't know," He said, "Lock him up; say he's out." She looked back at me and nodded.

"Okay," She said. He stood up from where he was sitting and walked towards me, lifting me off the ground. I grunted in pain as He dragged me towards the small closet underneath the stairs.

He clicked the light on and shut the door behind us. There was a pipe that ran alone the ceiling of the room. I wasn't sure why. I didn't want to know. "Yeah, I'll let you out," He said as he duct taped my hands together than to the pole, "If you're good and don't make a peep" He took off a long strip and slapped it over my mouth. I jerked away. In return, I received a swift punch in the gut. I couldn't breathe well through the tape, making this all much more difficult. But they tied me up in here all the time. I was use to it.

"Hello," said my social worker as He left the room under the staircase, "I hope you didn't forget out scheduled meeting.

"O-of course not," She stuttered, "Please come in." I heard the door slam but saw nothing. He shut the lights off before he left.

"Is Nicholas around?" my social worker asked.

"No uh, he's out," She said, "But we're making sure he's back before dark."

"Good, good," he said, "Then you wouldn't mind if I waited for him."

"Um, w-wait?" She asked.

"Yes, it's crucial that we get an idea of how everything is through Nick's eyes," he replied.

"Ah, I see," He said. They started walking down the hallway, pass the staircase. I could get out of here. I could hear them through the creaking of the floor.

"Mm," I whimpered through the duct tape on my mouth. I felt them all stop.

"What's in there?" he asked. My eyes grew wider. My social worker was a lot closer than I thought. He definitely heard me.

"Nothing," He said nervously, "Must've been the floor."

"Ah," he said, "Moving on. I-" Before they could continue any further, I kicked the door; hard.

"Excuse me," the social worker said. He opened the door and gasped. He quickly went to me and cut me loose from the pole. He ripped the tape off, flinching from my social workers touch. He turned towards the Two, infuriated, "Never, in my years of working with foster care, have I witnessed such a display! I will see to the cops speaking with you! Come along, Nicholas."

And we left. Just like that.

Page Break

My social worker drove me back to the foster home, apologizing the whole way. He's the one who dropped me off there. I dealt with it for about three days until he finally came. Now where would I go? I could answer that: back to my small but quaint room where hopefully I would stay until I turned 18.

"Nick," he said, "I'm so sorry. I'll never let you go through that again." Yeah I've heard that before, "Are you okay?" He knew the answer to that.

We finally reached St. Florence "Foster House". I knew it was really an orphanage. But I still believed… and I always will.

"What happened," said the owner, Florence Hauser. She was an older woman with a very firm personality. She was strong… but still didn't understand. It had been raining outside. I walked inside soaked and cut and bruised. And she wanted to know what happened? I ignored her and walked upstairs.

Bea's POV

"Out again?" I asked as my father walked down the stairs of our small house. He straightened his badge and then turned to me apologetically. It's been days since we've gotten to sit down and just talk. But I guess that's life as the sheriff's daughter. My father's brown eyes looked down at my from my seat at the kitchen table apologetically.

"Yeah," he said, "There was a domestic incident. That boy that you go to school with had a rough day yesterday." I wasn't sure who he was talking about but I did believe him. We had a full house of foster kids in town. People here were just… sick.

"Oh," I said, "Okay."

"Get to school safe okay," he said, "I'm not pulling you over like last time."

"Mhm," I said, not really paying attention.

"Love you, Bea," he said.

"Love you too," I said waving him off as I dug my nose more into my book. Reading was a passion. I didn't mind the scrutiny as I just sat there and read instead of text message. It wasn't my fault I had a literary ambition. But a girl has to get to school eventually.

My high school was nice, decent; except for the student body of course. I didn't care much for it considering majority of them hated me. I wasn't sure why. They just thought I was a dork. I didn't really have a lot to look forward because of that.

"Bea," my best friend Macy said walking over to me. She was with Stella, another good friend of mine. I smiled when I saw them in the parking lot, that's usually where everyone hung out. I sat in my emerald green Volkswagen Bus and read some more.

"Hey," I said. I was sitting in the side, the door open for my feet to hang out.

"So did you hear about last night?" Stella asked.

"What?" I asked.

"You know that kid Nick?" Macy asked.

"Um, yeah," I said, "I think so." He just moved here last year. He was kind of to himself. Hell, I don't think I've said one word to the guy.

"His social worker found him tied up in a closet last night," Stella said unable to stand the anticipation. I raised my eyebrows. Social worker? Was he the one my dad was talking about this morning?

"Apparently it was horrible," Macy said, "Isn't you're dad on the case?"

"Um, I don't know," I said, "Maybe." I didn't like talking about this; it felt wrong. It obviously was a serious situation and they were kind of treating it like it was not big deal. But if they're right, if they found him tied up in a closet, then he was probably going through a tough time right now, "Listen guys, I should go to class. I'll see you around."

Joe's POV

"Bea!" I called in the parking lot. I missed her as she walked into school. I ran up to Stella and Macy, "Hey guys. What's up with her?"

"I don't know," Macy said, "It might've been just a touchy subject."

"What's a touchy subject?" I asked.

"Nick Bardwell was found tied up in a closet last night," Stella said, "But Bea seemed really weird when we told her." Nick Bardwell; wasn't he the foster child? That must've been horrible.

"Wow," I said, "I'm gonna go see what's up with her."

"Okay," Stella said, "See you." As I was walking towards the doors I noticed Bea had dropped her book. I picked it up and started running.

I hated how it was rainy. As clumsy as I was, I always slipped on something. But I managed to make it up the stairs, through the doors and…

Oh. My. God.

Bea's POV

I didn't mean to ditch Stella and Macy. I just couldn't help but feel like this Nick kid. I knew it happened. It had to have. Not only did everyone in this town know what happens, but my dad did say there was a guy who went to school here who had a "rough night". It just… it seemed more than a rough night to me.

I was thankful for my father. But I've had my experiences with bad parenting. My mom did plenty of things to me I'll never understand or forget… and that's not even half as bad compared to this innocent boy.

Oh, no! I think I left my book in the parking lot. I reached into my purse but couldn't find it.

It all happened quite fast after that. I took a few steps too many and fell smack dab into someone. I was so close to falling back on my ass but someone reached for me and grabbed around my wrists.

Nick Bardwell was staring down at me.


	2. Chapter 2

Bea's POV

Oh no. I didn't know what to do. The way he was looking at me made me feel terrified. He pulled me up slowly, his grip on my wrists loosening. He was staring at something on my face. My hand went up, fingertips tracing the scar I got a long time ago. He moved my hand, like nobody was staring. He kept looking at it. He finally glided his thumb of my jaw bone… right over the scar, and walked away.

He was at school? But he was… I couldn't think straight at all. People all around me were looking. I touched my scar again… to see if it was still there. I jumped when I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder.

"Bea?" Joe asked. I turned around and sure as hell, there was Joe. He was holding onto my book. I took it from him and put it in my purse. He was staring at me funny too. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I said, "I mean… I should get to class." He was about to call me back, to protest, but I walked off.

Man, I haven't felt anything that intense in a long time. He stared at the small little mark like he knew what happened to me. Could he? I shook my head at myself. No, that wasn't possible. He didn't know what it was. But why was he so attentive to it? I didn't understand how, but he must've known… I mean it's the only way it would relate to them right?

Ugh, never mind.

Class went by way too fast. I knew Joe had already told Stella and Macy. Even if they didn't, they would still know. Only half of out junior class was watching. I smiled at myself; I was being ridiculous. I shouldn't care so much. But this wasn't just some guy. It was Nick Bardwell… the one who's gone through hell in back, the one they found tied up in a closet last night.

I walked out of my first hour homeroom and slowly walked to my locker. I fiddled with the combo a little bit until I got it open. I looked down the hall, in search of Macy or Stella. Then a feeling washed over me… like someone was watching me. My eyes only had to shift a little bit to find that Nick was staring at me in a very strange way. I quickly looked away, nearly stuffing myself in my locker. He was looking at me like I was an insect he wanted to squish. What did I do? Oh yeah, I ran into him. But still… was that something to get seriously upset over? Did I hurt him?

"Bea!" someone yelled from down the hallway. I poked my head out from behind my locker door and saw Stella running down to me. I rolled my eyes; here we go. Before I went back to my hiding place, I took another glance at Nick. He was still staring at me… did he even blink while I was gone? "Bea," Stella said when she reached me. She was completely out of breath, "Tell. Me. Everything!"

"W-what?" I asked. I pretended to act so dumbstruck because Nick certainly wasn't out of earshot.

"You know," she said a _little_ quieter now, "With Nick."

"Oh, um, nothing," I said, shutting my locker and darting the opposite way from him. I sure would've gotten to class sooner if I went the way towards him though.

"What do you mean nothing?" she asked following me, "Joe told me he grab you."

"What?" I asked irritated, "He didn't grab me. I ran into him and he kept me from falling on my ass. That's all it is."

"Oh, really?" she tested, "Then what about the part with your scar. Was Joe lying about that too?"

"No," I said, "No, he saw it. Big deal. It's pretty visible."

"But… you know…" Stella said, "It shows how connected you are with him."

"I am _not_ connected to anyone," I snapped, "And… for crying out loud. People need to just… back off of him. I could understand why he's afraid of everyone." Stella had no retort. I sighed. I knew I made her feel bad. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just… I feel really bad for him is all."

"Yeah," Stella said, "Yeah… It's okay." I nodded and kept walking, "Hey Bea?"

"Yeah?" I said, looking at her. She looked really troubled.

"You don't have to hide it from him," she said, "I mean… I don't know him… but he may know more than you think." I was surprised to hear that come from her. But I ignored her and walked in a safe haven; a classroom away from her.

I didn't need to tell anyone anything.

Nick's POV

Blondie was really getting on my nerves. And it wasn't because she ran into me. It was because of that tiny little scar on her jaw. I didn't understand why she had to have it on there. As soon as I saw it, I started of thinking ways to rip it off. But of course, that's not logical at all.

She was abused too; by her mother maybe? I remember her father was the sheriff in town so that wasn't an option. Besides, I knew him. He was nice. The scar may have been a burn mark. I have plenty of those marks on me. I could probably identify it if I wasn't trying to forget it.

I know it makes no sense to be annoyed at her because of a scar. But I… didn't want her to have to feel that. I didn't want anyone to feel that. I didn't care about her. No… I didn't. I just… I don't know.

I just don't know.

I walked the hallway alone, skipping class. I wasn't really in the mood to even come here today. But the only way to get away from Florence was to come to school. But now I wanted to get away from people here. I had no where to go; but I was use to that.

Her other friend… who in the hell did she think she was? Screaming down the hallway like that? I heard her say my name, assuming she was one of _those_ people, I had to get away from her.

Bea; that was her name wasn't it? I had no urge to ask anyone. I would just call her Blondie for now. Not that I wanted to know her name.

Not that I wanted to know her at all.

Bea's POV

"School blows," I sang to myself after Geometry. I wasn't in any mood now. I don't want to blame Stella… or Nick. I just… I don't know. At least I was more than halfway through the day. I just to get through Art and Music then I would be okay.

"Free sketch today, kiddo," said my way too hippie looking art teacher. I smiled. I liked art. I was always good at it… and I wasn't good at anything else and I kind of liked this.

It didn't occur to me that I was the only one in the classroom. I always got to this class way to quickly. Well, on the bright side, it gave me time to think. I opened up a sketchbook of mine that was falling apart. I started sketching in something, mindlessly shading and highlighting the right places. I felt like I finally had peace.

"Hey," I turned up to see Joe looking down at me. I smiled a little but just barely. To be honest I was just a little annoyed with people to today; that is, if you haven't noticed yet.

"Hey," I said, "What's up?"

"Nothing," he said sitting next to me. He had his hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry… I really am. I'll keep my mouth shut next time." I smiled a little more, nodding.

"Thanks," I said, "But I don't think there's going to be a next time." He shrugged.

"You never know," he said.

"Alright, class," the teacher said, "You're going to have to sketch up something good for our daily art off! So get to work!" I didn't realize the whole class had shown up and started working. I returned to my sketch, letting the thoughts of nothing take over.

But then I got that feeling again. My eyes moved up to see Nick again. He was in this class? Great. Just great. He wasn't staring at me anymore though. He was staring off into nothing, staring down at his drawing. I couldn't help but try and put myself in his skin. What would he be thinking about right now? Well it was obvious.

"Bea?" Joe asked. I snapped out of it and turned my attention towards my drawing as quickly as possible. I didn't want Joe to notice anything he didn't need to.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I'll be right back," he said, "I forgot something out of my locker. Cover for me, will you?"

"Yeah," I said, "Yeah sure." He got up and simply walked out of the room. He wasn't there to watch me watch Nick; but I wasn't going to stare at him more. That was unnecessary and kind of creepy.

_ "You messed up, child," said my"mom". She leaned forward, alcohol clear in her breath. She wasn't really my mother, I thought. She was my step-mother actually. My mom died when she was pregnant with me. My mom wouldn't do this to me. But some homewrecker would. _

_ "What are you doing?" I asked frightened. She jerked my forward towards the fire. It was winter and my father was on late night patrol. I wasn't expecting her to come home at all. But of course, she was full of surprises. _

_ "Teaching you a lesson, you little brat," she grabbed the fire poker with one hand and gripping my face with the other. I clawed at her arm, but it was as if she didn't feel it. _

_ "Stop!" I yelled. But she wouldn't. I shut my eyes and she held the red hot fire poker to my jaw-line. I screamed in agonizing pain. She held it there longer, and longer. I could feel my skin frying right off. Once she was fully satisfied, she threw the fire poker across the room, and me to the ground. I lied there until she kicked me over on my back. She put her foot over my throat. _

_ "You best behave, little girl," she said, "Or next time won't be nearly as pleasant."_

"Bea?" I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. I turned around and saw my art teacher with a look of concern on her face. I didn't realize I had been crying. Starting drama was the last thing I was trying to do. But I knew people would be talking about this next to Nick. In speaking of him, I looked at him. He was staring at me blankly following the tears that trailed down my face.

"I have to go," I said. I got up and scurried out the door, leaving my sketchbook by accident.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick's POV

Blondie was upset. I didn't notice her until the teacher called her name and she didn't answer. I watched her go to Blondie. Her face, in a way, broke my heart. She had tears pouring down her face. But why? I didn't understand until I really thought about it; I triggered a past memory, probably about the scar. Plus, did you see the way she looked straight at me then left? She needed someone to relate to.

But I wasn't that person.

I never shared things that have happened to me just to feel better. That never does shit. But I guess I should at least return her sketchbook to her. I managed to take it after class without anyone noticing; not even that guy who was sitting with her before.

It was a bad idea to go to school. I knew I should've stayed at the orphanage. But I couldn't stay there, I already explained that. But I didn't need to be here either. I swiftly went for the front door and left. No one was watching, as if anyone even cared. If some system of authority knew what I was doing, they wouldn't stop me. Since this whole damn town was talking about it, I suppose they wouldn't want to approach me.

Where did she live? If I was going to return it, I would have to know where she lived. I wasn't going to guess where she is. So for now, I would just wait.

I took a deep breath. I was at my favorite spot after a few brief moments. Our local park, a bench right by a tall oak tree was where I would sleep when I didn't want to be in the orphanage. I found peace here… only here.

I sat at the bench, the sun sending rays from behind me. I looked at Blondie's book, the worn out leather binding indicating it came from a very long time ago. She must have purchased it through thrift. I kept looking at it, tempted. I couldn't… could I?

The worst that could happen is… nothing.

I slowly opened the first page, revealing a house. It was old, the construction falling apart. It almost looked like a pavilion. The whole front was sort of gone. I traced my finger lightly over the wooden textures, the accurate light and darks, the small beams of light flashing in through the broken windows. Although the drawing was quite sad and lonely, it was beautiful. I felt close to it.

I wasn't afraid to go through the rest of the sketch book. Her drawings were fantastic. I thought of keeping it for a while. I wonder why she chose such things to draw; hands reaching for each other, a tree in the middle of a deserted flat land, dark, dark images that made me feel sympathy.

The last page, the last thing she was drawing before she ran.

Fire.

Bea's POV

I left school right away. There was no reason to be there. I couldn't stand it there anyway. I wasn't going to be stared down by everyone in the hallway for another minute. I know it was my fault that I started crying, but I didn't bring ignorance on others did I?

Gosh, I was being way to judgmental, critical. But I just embarrassed deep down. What was Nick thinking when she saw me crying like that? God, why did I even care?

I walked out to the empty parking lot. I opened up the van and climbed inside, locking the doors for some reason. I tried to turn on the car but couldn't. It wouldn't freakin' start. Just great. I leaned my forehead on the steering wheel, letting tears fall freely. I didn't care who saw anymore.

This was ridiculous. I was fine until Stella and Macy told me about Nick's incident last night, until I ran into him. The way he held onto me for dear life so I wouldn't fall. The way he cared without caring. The way he watching me cry. He was frustrating, stressful.

I tried turning on my car again and surprisingly it started. I guess someone up there saw me. I turned on the radio, letting Iron and Wine softly play. I smiled a little, letting at least one thing calm me down.

"Bea!" I heard Macy running through the parking lot. School must've been over. I quickly put the car in reverse and backed out. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. I sped away before she could reach me. I'm pretty sure she would follow me home but I just need a little more time alone.

Macy's POV

I was going to follow her home. It was obvious to her. She just needed some time I guess. I didn't want to admit it, but Stella and Joe were being extra-rumory today. That really wasn't like them. But they didn't know what to do. They didn't understand Bea's situation completely.

"Where did she go?" Stella asked standing next to me now.

"Home, I guess," I shrugged.

"Should we follow her?" Joe asked catching up to us. He clearly overheard us. I rolled my eyes.

"Guys, let me just go see her tonight," I said, "I'm afraid our Bea's going to crack under our pressure. Maybe if things work out, we'll call you up okay?"

"Alright," Joe said understandingly. Stella followed right alone. I had my keys in hand and fully intended on going straight there. I forgot that I didn't have a car though. I left them with my parents who had an extra key on them. Well, it looks like I was walking home.

As I walked down the street, I noticed someone sitting at a bench. I didn't realize who it was, quite frankly I didn't care, until I saw Bea's sketchbook in his hands. He was looking through it; Nick. I stopped right in my tracks. I was at an angle from him across the street. He knew I was there. He nervously looked over at me. Noticing who it was, he glared. I pulled out a piece of scrap paper out of my pocket and took a pen out of my purse. I wrote down Bea's address. He wasn't going to like it if I went up to him. I noticed yard rocks by another tall tree. I put the note under and fairly heavy rock and walked off. Hopefully he would return that to her soon.

I think as I turned the corner, I saw him pick it up. I smiled and kept walking.

Something was going to happen with them. I knew it.

Bea's POV

"They told me you left school." That was the first thing my dad said when he walked through the door. I had his diner ready for him. It was his favorite. But it wasn't because I thought he would be mad at me. I knew he wouldn't. He knew I left.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, my hands busy in the sink, cleaning dished, "I'm… sorry. I was just embarrassed Dad."

"What happened?" he asked me hanging up his gun-belt. I hated that stupid thing. But who knows, one day that thing might save someone's life someday.

"I ran into Nick," I said, "and he set off some… thoughts." My dad was behind me, putting his hand on my shoulder. I turned my head around and saw his sorrowful expression. "I'm okay, Dad. It was just a rough day."

"Bea, you don't have to do that all the time," he said sitting at the table, exhausted, "Being so tough all the time I mean."

"I know," I said, "And I let it slip at school."

"She's never coming back," he tried to reassure me.

"I know," I repeated much quieter, "But it doesn't get rid of the thoughts." Silence followed that remark. I reach from a plain gray hoodie and pulled it over my head. "I'm going to step outside for a little while, alright? I'll just be on the porch."

"Alright," he said, "I love you, Bea."

"I love you too," I said meaning it. I slipped out the door and sat on my front porch. I felt like reading. The closest thing I had to me was "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. I smiled, opening it up to where Atticus explained to Scout that when you walk around in someone else's skin, you learn things about them you may not have known. I smiled, the brilliant work of art they called a "boring" book made me happy. I suppose it was a little morbid in a way but a good book always lightened my spirit.

I jumped to the sound of my gate being opened. My eyes darted up to see a figure standing before me. Nick… I looked over to my left, the orphanage a few blocks down. He was obviously shaking from how cold it was. I didn't know what to say. He just stood there for a moment, hesitant.

Should I say something? If so, what? I pondered for a moment then saw him walk forward more. He leaned forward and put something in my lap. He quickly backed up after that, like I was going to hurt him. I felt tears burn behind my eyes. But I wasn't going to let him see that again.

It was my sketchbook he put in my lap. He thought for a moment, staring at my weak face, ready to cry. Then he quietly walked forward more, sitting next to me. I looked at his hands that took my sketchbook again that opened it to the first page. It was me as a house. Lonely and sad but with a hidden message. Not to sound like a downer, that's just what I was feeling the day I drew it. He ran his fingertips over it. I didn't realize he had it in the first place, but couldn't even think about that at the moment.

"Beautiful," he whispered. I looked up at his face. That was the first time I've ever heard him speak for the year I've known he existed. Usually, people around here loved to talk. He was staring at the picture. Beautiful, that?  
"Thanks," I replied. That's all that I could say. I wasn't going to say, you're wrong! He looked at me now, his hand reaching for my face. I shut my eyes when he traced his fingers over the scar again. I felt the one stupid tear slip. He knew… I know he knew. But how?

"How," I said quietly. He wiped the tear away.

"I just… know," he said quieter. I opened my eyes. He was sad; very sad.

"I'm… sorry," I said slow, "I know it doesn't help… but I don't care what people think. If you… ever…" He didn't answer; just looked at me.

I could tell he was still very unsure still. Everything felt so surreal. He didn't belong right here next to me. And these tears didn't belong on my face. The normal thing that should be happening is we don't talk to each other. In fact, we don't even know the other exists. But we had a connection. And I saw it now.

But that was it. "Again," he said, "Maybe." I nodded. He stood up and held out his hand. I took it hesitantly. He shook a little by my touch but pulled me up. "He loves you…" Was he talking about my dad?  
"I know," I whispered. He let go of my hand and started walking down the street.

Nick's POV

Her friend would've shown up soon so I had to do it fast. I didn't run because it hurt too much. It was freezing at night. God… I couldn't even believe I was doing this. The girl gave me her address, like she knew I was asking for it. She was smart though; not to come up to me? Good judge of character because if she did, I would've ran. That's just what I do… I run, get caught, get hurt.

This time I came to her. She wasn't going to hurt me right? I'm sure if I kept it up, someday along the road, she would. She would hurt me bad. But would she try to? Would it be her intention like the Two? Like the rest of them before? Maybe I could trust this small little girl who didn't even understand her own feelings.

I knew them though. Because I knew her by looking at her. Was that weird?

When I saw her sitting there I wanted to bravely walk up to her, be normal. But wasn't brave. I felt like a coward. I decided to give the sketchbook back and just leave. So I did… I was walking… I was walking… but then I stopped. She wasn't going to just sit there and cry on my watch. I didn't care anymore what my head thought. I went forward again and sat next to her.

I opened up her book to the first page, my favorite picture. I wanted to ask her so many questions. But I held myself back. I wasn't sure if she was mad at me for taking it yet. So I whispered, "Beautiful." But I wasn't talking about the picture. I was talking about her; she was the picture. Alone… scared… abandoned… destroyed. But beautiful with something to offer to anyone who would see past all of those things.

I went to touch her scar again, wanting to take it off just like before. But I couldn't, and it frustrated me. She was crying more. I didn't want that either. Why did she have to be so perfectly uncooperative?

"How," she breathed out, desperate to know. I wanted to tell her I saw her messages behind her art, her flashbacks behind her eyes. I knew all of those things because I had a piece of her experience in me; it was me.

"I just know…" was all that came out. I couldn't talk. I haven't truly talked in years. I felt sorrow now. Everyday was sorrow. Pain… it never stopped… so I just took it. But what if I didn't want to take it anymore? Was that so wrong? Haven't I taken enough?

"Again," I said, "Maybe."


	4. Chapter 4

Macy's POV

"He… what!" I exclaimed. I went over at Bea's house around seven. She was sitting on her bed, holding her old sketchbook close to her. I was wondering why she was so attached to it at this moment in time.

"It's no big deal," she laughed, "He definitely lifted my spirits… sort of."

"Good," I said. I believed her, "So what else did he do?"

"Well," Bea sighed, "He brought my sketchbook back… he looked through it." I was really surprised to hear that one. Bea NEVER let anyone touch her sketchbook. Joe, Stella, and I weren't even allowed in it and we were her best friends.

"Wow," I said, "What did he say?"

"I don't really know," she said, "We didn't talk a lot… I mean… he doesn't like to. I can tell why too."

"Just think," I said, "He's coming out of his shell… for you." She looked down, her face blank, "You know it's true, Bea. Something's going on in his head and it has to do with you."

"I-I know," she replied, "That's what scares me the most."

"Bea," I began, "You are alike… you are connected. Don't say you aren't. He, in a way, cares about you."

"He doesn't even know me… I don't know him," she whispered.

"He knows you more than you think," I said.

"I just…" she shrugged, "I wish people would stop talking in riddles. Let's just all come out and say that we were both abused so we should date."

"It's a lot more than that," I smiled, "You two could grow into… something amazing. You could be each other's escape.

"I wouldn't expect anything," Bea said, "Because I'm only letting him come to me. That's how he operates."

"By all means," I said, "Use the correct method. But don't ignore the facts, Bea. Don't ignore the facts."

Bea's POV

I've never had an "escape" before, other than art of course. That was the closest thing I had to an escape. But was Macy right? Could Nick possibly be a physical form of happiness? I mean, I was happy. What happened to me was so long ago. I wasn't expecting anything like that to happen to me again despite the random, disturbing flashbacks I have.

Nick, on the other hand, would always carry those repeated memories. Every family he's been to, hurt him. He lived off of pain and neglect. No one understood him, which is why I would always be bothered by the "Did you hear Nick" this and "Did you hear Nick" that. And… and he didn't deserve that. He deserved a happy life. I didn't know him… but I could tell he had a lot more potential then his numerous "parental figures" could see.

All I know is tonight, Nick reached out. And it wasn't something he would normally do. I would be lucky to see it again. That's the way I had to approach. If he came to me, then he came to me. I would do the same as I did a while ago.

Macy had left a while ago, leaving me to my thoughts. But all I needed was sleep. I felt so tired, so shaky. I wonder why that was.

Nick's POV

I woke up a lot earlier than I normally do. I couldn't believe myself. I was getting my hopes up for nothing. If I didn't want to get hurt, I would have to forget Bea. But what if I didn't want to? I'm not afraid to get hurt. But by Bea it might be a whole new level.

I walked to school in the cold. I tried hard not to shiver as I walked through the parking lot, letting everyone stare at me all they wanted. I didn't care what any of these imbeciles think of me… except for that beautiful imbecile sitting in her rusty green van. Without her seeing me, I managed to get a glance at who she was with. Considering she was pretty surrounded I walked past her. I wasn't sure what to say even if I did show up.

You have to believe me when I say that I really like Bea already, and I don't even know much about her. I wish I could have the chance. But there's that whole thing about taking chances. I'm not really good at it. It would just have to happen slowly, until I can figure out what I'm doing.

The rest of the day droned on, leaving me in mental peril. It wasn't good all the time to be left with your own thoughts, especially mine. But when art came, I knew something interesting may happen. Bea would be there and everyone would be whispering about the incident yesterday. As I walked in the classroom, I noticed that she was already there. I slowly assumed my seat across the room. Distance was key. It was like driving a car; I had to compromise space, let her come to me so I can come to her… if that made any sense at all.

"Bea," I heard the one guy she was with yesterday say. I think his name was Joe. He was helping her cheer up too, must've been a close friend in early childhood, "Big bash tonight in the old settler's park. You coming?"

"Uh, yeah," she said mindlessly. I hid my smile, she wasn't even listening. She was drawing something.

"Great," he smiled. Did he like her? I sure hope not…

Did I just say that?

It didn't matter. Because no matter what else could've happened, I wish I could go back and prevent Bea from going. 

Bea's POV

The rest of the day dragged on and on. I heard something in art about a party but I didn't really listen to it. I said I would go (although it was a Tuesday). I didn't have any homework though. Plus, my dad wouldn't mind as long as I was back at a decent time. I haven't given my dad a reason to take away my freedom so I had a lot of perks.

"Hey," Stella caught up with me as I was walking out in the parking lot, "You coming tonight?"

"Yeah," I said, "Yeah I am."

"Cool," she laughed, "It'll be great. I'm hoping that by now Bryan with ask me out."

"Bryan?" I asked, "What happened to Jason?"  
"Jason," she said, "Nope, doesn't ring a bell." I laughed in spite of myself. Stella couldn't pick a guy. So she hopped back and forth. I guess it wasn't the healthiest thing, but we're only teenagers.

"Alright," I sighed, "I'll see you then."

Joe's POV

It was about nine. I everyone was already in the park. I was planning on meeting Stella, Macy, and Bea there. But unfortunately I got a little lost. The old settler's park was pretty far out of town. Plus, when I was pulling in that jag off Kowalski nearly cut in front of me. He was such a jerk. He thought that just because he was heady for Ivy League that he was better than everyone.

As I got out of the car, I noticed him walking, "Hey, Lucas," he said, "Getting lucky tonight huh?"  
"Uh, you've been drinking haven't you?" I laughed.

"What's it to ya?" he slurred, "Don't worry about it."

"Alrighty," I said.

"I'm going to tap that Bea chick," he said, "She's hot." My face went scarlet. I glared at him but stopped myself from saying anything. He wasn't going to hurt Bea. By the looks of how tipsy he was, he wouldn't be able to recognize anyone.

I started looking for Stella, Macy, and Bea. There was no sign of them. I ran into a group of girls who, of course, digged musicians (which I am). I'm sure none of them could even spell guitar but what's a little mingling going to do?

About an hour had passed when Stella and Macy had finally emerged, "Ladies," I said, "I'll have to take a rein check." I waved and met up with the girls.

"Hey guys," I said, "I've been trying to find you forever."

"Yeah sorry," Stella said, "We were following Bryan for a long time, making sure he didn't get himself killed." I chuckled but stopped.

"Where is he now?" he asked.

"By that old barn far out there," Macy said.

"But… where's Bea?" I asked.

"She told us to go on without her," Stella said, "She said she'll-"

"Oh no," I said, "We gotta go."

Bea's POV

"Bryan, why don't I take you home?" I called. He disappeared inside this old rickety barn. I was nervous to go inside, afraid that it would collapse on us. But he wasn't safe in there. I slowly came inside. I looked around but didn't see him, "Bryan?"  
I turned around when I heard the door of the barn shut. Bryan was standing in front of it. He took out a pack of cigarettes, planning on lighting up, "You smoke?" he asked.

"No," I said, "But thank you."

"Mm," he hummed. He walked forward, blowing it in my face. I coughed a little but redeemed myself.

"Bryan, you should probably…" I stopped breathing as he moved forward, inches away from my face. I was about to say something when he kissed me, long and good. I pushed him away and slapped him across the face.

That was a mistake. It really was. It was like pulling the pin from grenade.


	5. Chapter 5

Bea's POV

"You're gonna pay now bitch," Bryan said, grabbing me by my shoulders. He threw me at the wall, nearly taking it down. We were in a barn not far from the park where everyone was. But no one could help me now. I was about to fall to the floor when he caught me, holding me up by the arm. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and held it right above my breast. I screamed out in pain, "Go ahead and scream you whore. No one can hear you." He threw the cigarette away from me and grabbed a fist-full of my hair, jerking my chin up. I remember looking at him as he slammed my head to the wall as hard as he could. Everything went black after that.

Joe's POV

"Where are we?" I yelled. Macy, Stella, and I were running through the woods, trying to reach the barn. But we were lost. I began to think of the things Bryan could be doing to Bea right now. I wouldn't let him. I would kill him before I let him hurt any girl like that, especially my best friend.

"I don't know," Stella said desperately, "I should've known, Joe. I-I'm so sorry."

"This is our faults," Macy cried, "Where is she?"

"Guys," I said taking their hands, "Everything will be fine. Let's just go… this way." I took a right and ran, Stella and Macy following me. Soon, the sea of trees broke and there it was. But we might've been too late. I ran without hesitation, finally reaching the barn door. But when I looked inside…

No one was there.

Nick's POV

I stuck around the park last night, watching out for Bea. I wasn't sure why I was following her around like a stalker. I just had a feeling she wasn't completely safe. I stayed far away though. If there was a problem I would've known.

I was beginning to feel freezing. I had to find some place to get warm. I noticed as I was walking a not too stable barn. It wouldn't hurt to hang in there for a while. I was getting tons of calls from Florence anyway. I guess she deserves to at least know where I am.

As I began dialing I walked in the barn. But then I tripped on something. I fell, hurting every part that had been recently hit. I looked over to see what I fell from and saw Bea. I gasped and scrambled over to her. She was out cold, a gash on her forehead possibly indicating some sort of conflict. I stood up and looked out the small window of the barn. Sure enough there was someone, sliding all over the place trying to get back to civilization.

Bryan Kowalski. I would remember his name.

I darted back to Bea and put my hands on her face, "Bea," I said, "Bea, c'mon." No sign of movement. I checked her pulse. She was alive. But she needed medical attention. I quickly pulled her in my arms. She slightly moved, putting arms around my neck.

"Bea," I said calmingly. I had to get her to the hospital. The bus would have to do.

There was one on the corner about to leave. I ran as fast as I could, waving one arm. The doors remained open as I hurried Bea in the bus, "Get to the hospital," I said, "Quickly." The bus driver didn't hesitate.

When I reached the hospital someone saw me right away. They reached for Bea and took her away from me. Before the nurse went to the room she turned to me and said, "Don't go anywhere." She left after that.

And so did I.

Bea's POV

I must've woken up again that night. I wasn't in that god awful room but I wasn't home either. The bright white almost got me thinking I was in heaven, that Kowalski had killed me. But then I began to hear the sharp beep of a heart rate monitor and a faint discussion in the background.

How did I end up in the hospital?

"Hey," someone said. I slowly opened my eyes and saw my dad staring down at me, "How are you feeling?"

"Uh," I moaned, "I'm okay. How did you know where I was?"

"What do you mean?" Dad asked, "I got a call from the hospital saying you were here." I became scared now, "Honey, what happened? Who brought you here?"

"I don't know, Dad," I said, "But… I just fell as I was leaving, hit my head on a rock."

"Oh sweetheart," he said, "I'm just happy you're okay."

I wasn't thought, Dad. I really wasn't.

The doctor let me go home that night. He said I had a slight concussion but I would be fine. I was finally allowed to go home and cry myself to sleep. I remembered it all… every part of it. Why would do that to me? I wanted to scream. It was so fast, so sudden. No one saw the burn mark and no one would. I was so afraid that I was raped. I had to find a pregnancy test… God I don't know what I would do if…

"Bea?" somebody knocked on my bedroom door. It must've been two in the morning. I looked up to see Macy and Stella walk in. One of my lights were on, making my room dim. But they saw my tears and expected the worst. They slowly joined me in my bed. I rested my head on Stella's lap as Macy sat in front of us, holding my hand.

"He hurt me," I said, things slowly beginning to come back to me.

"What do you mean?" Macy asked alarmed.

"He knocked me out," I said, "He could've-"  
"Oh no," Stella said, "No, Bea… he couldn't have."

"I think he did," I cried, "I think he did." I buried my face in Stella's lap, crying even harder than I did before. I heard Stella crying with me.

"I'm so sorry Bea," she said, "We should've stayed with you… but we went back and… you were gone." I sat up.

"You mean, you didn't anyone leave with me?" I asked.

"No," Macy said, "We were running around crazy until we got a call from your dad."

"Oh," I sniffled, "I'm sorry…"

"Bea," Macy said, rubbing my back, "You have got to be strong. We'll get through this together. We'll wait a little bit.. then we'll get a pregnancy test."

The next morning, I had a headache from crying all night. I insisted on going to school though. I could stay here, thinking about it. Macy and Stella had stayed with me all night, providing me comfort I really needed.

"I didn't tell my dad about last night," I said in the privacy of my room with Macy and Stella.

"What?" Macy said, "Why."

"Because," I said, "Bryan was drunk last night. If I told, his future would be ruined."

"But he's ruined yours," Stella said, "Pregnant or not."

"I know," I said, "But that doesn't mean I should sink down to his level." That was the end of that conversation for now.

"Bea," my dad said as we walked into the kitchen, "I forgot to tell you, I talked to the doctor last night."

"About what?"

"Who brought you to the hospital," he said, "Described him pretty well. Make sure you thank Mr. Bardwell when you see him."

…What?

At school everyone was staring at me. Stella and Macy tried to take my attention away from it. I was busy searching for Nick. He helped me. He wouldn't have let Kowalski rape me… unless he was too late… unless he didn't make it in time.

"I saw Kowalski alone. He was standing by his car. I took a deep breath. Macy and Stella knew what I was think and took my arm, "Guys," I said, "Let me do this."

"Kowalski," I said approaching him. He looked around then back at me.

"I was drunk," he said, "I didn't mean-"

"Should… should I be taking a certain test in the future?" I asked calm and collective.

"N-no," he said, "I didn't rape you… after I…"

"You left me there," I said.

"Did you say anything?" he asked. I shook my head. He leaned closer his next words laced with hate, "Keep it that way." I shivered as he walked away, catching up with his friends. I felt my throat hurting.

When he was gone, Macy and Stella were at my side again. This time, someone stepped in front of us; Joe, "That bastard hurt you didn't he," he said.

"Joe-"

"Answer me," he said, "He is the reason you ended up in the hospital, isn't he?"

"Joe," I said, "Don't say a word. We don't need to make a bigger deal out this than it needs to be." All of a sudden our school's intercom sounded through the parking lot.

ALL STUDENTS REPORT TO THE CAFETERIA FOR AN ASSEMBLY.

I looked back up at Joe who was staring down at me with worry, "I will say something when the time is right, okay?" That was the end of it. I broke myself away from Macy, Joe, and Stella (not sure if it was on accident or on purpose) and went to the cafeteria.

"There she is!" I heard someone yell. A group of kids stared laughing; Kowalski was a denizen of this particular crowd.

A girl yelled out, "What a slut!" I couldn't breathe. I felt immobilized. What did he say? I implied that I wouldn't say anything… but he tricked me. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. When I had finally got the strength to move, I ran for the door. Only an arm shot out of nowhere and caught me. He kept his position facing forward as I still wanted to run. But he held me firmly. It was dead silent.

Nick Bardwell leaned towards my ear and whispered, "What here." I've never heard him so sure himself. He didn't stutter, he didn't hesitate. I nodded, my body somehow tensed from such a gentle touch.

He slid his arm away from me to approach Kowalski. I didn't look, I couldn't even turn around.

"You owe her an apology," Nick said calmly. I forgot how to use my brain until I heard a loud smack. I jolted around and saw Nick on one knee. He stood back up after a moment. I met eyes with Macy who gave me a look that meant, "Don't move," I nodded.

"Do, I now, slick," Kowalski said, "Well I'll tell you what, why don't you go call you parents and we'll talk…" Nick stiffened, "But wait… You're parents are dead aren't they?" I took a step forward but it was already too late. Nick had taken Bryan Kowalski by his shirt and threw him across a table. I backed away out of fear when Nick found Kowalski on the floor and brought him over to me.

"Say you're sorry," Nick hissed at him. Kowalski was looking up at me through pleading eyes. But I couldn't do anything. I just stood there frozen.

I'm sorry you're a bitch!" he groaned trying to break free of Nick's grasp.

"Try again," Nick demanded louder. He grabbed a handful of Kowalski's hair and yanked him up.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled.

"You wanna know something though," Nick said, "Sorry… isn't good enough for people like you." He let him go walking forward to be right in front of me. His face softened when his chocolate brown eyes met mine. He put his hands on both sides of my face, like he was trying to block off sight of anyone else.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes," I whispered shakily. He nodded. I felt way to shaken up to move but Nick insisted, gripping my shoulders and walking me out of the cafeteria.


	6. Chapter 6

Joe's POV

Okay, so Nick Bardwell can stick up for Bea but I can't? Whatever. That was ridiculous. I didn't understand why she would never let me help her. Macy and Stella met up with me after the altercation and noticed my expression.

"Trust me," Macy said, "We're just as surprised as you are."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, we had no idea that Nick would do that," Stella said, "And neither did Bea." She was implying that she wasn't trying to make me feel bad. Nick did that out of the blue; Bea didn't tell him to.

"How did he ever know what happened?" I questioned as we left the cafeteria.

"Well," Macy said, "Nick was apparently the one who dropped her off at the hospital last night. He must've found her in the barn before we did."

"That means he was watching her," I cringed.

"That _means_," Stella said slapping my shoulder, "He was looking out for her. Look, the night before the party Nick returned something of Bea's and they…" she smiled, "had a moment."

"A moment," I cackled, "You're kidding."

"Nope," Stella said, "They… can protect each other."

"I don't know," I said.

"I know you're nervous at the thought," Macy said, "But we need to see what happens. I don't think he'll hurt her at all."

"Me neither," Stella said.

"Okay, okay," I smiled, "But we still watch out."

Bea's POV

I wasn't sure where Nick was taking me but I didn't really care. I let him lead the way; as if I had a choice. He felt that I was far too unstable to walk in a straight line so he hung onto me the same. Until we reached my van, he didn't let me go.

I quickly unlocked the door and opened the sliding door. I didn't want any faculty to see us ditching class. Nick hesitated though. Well, I wasn't going to get anything out of him until I tried, "Its okay," I said, "I'll come too." With that he followed me in the van. I slowly shut the door, trying to slam it. There were white LED lights on the ceiling of the van, a lot of my personal stuff in here with it. It was like my second room. I ran my fingers through the carpet making me feel safe.

"I have a question, Nick," I looked up at him. He was staring at me carefully, scrutinizing my every move, "Why did you come in here with me?"

Nick didn't answer right away. He moved closer to me, leaning over. He moved my hair away from my chest, exposing the burn I was trying to cover up. He pulled up his sleeve and held out his wrist. And on there, right where a pulse would be felt for was the same thing except it was a scar. It was older. Mine was still a burn of course.

"You," he faltered, "are like me." I smiled a little, nodding.

"Yes," I said, "We're very similar." He lightly took my hand.

"Come here," he said. He brought me on my knees and pulled me by the hand on top of him as he lay on his back. I stared down at him, my arms supporting my weight, "Its okay. It won't hurt too bad." I managed to get more on the floor than on him. I rested my head on his chest. He inhaled deeply, almost as soon as I did. He smelt like the air after a rainstorm and freshly laundered clothing. I couldn't help but smile. But then I remembered something.

"Why did you leave?" I whispered. He took a deep breath, unsure of how to answer, "You saved me. Thank you." His fingertips drew circles on my back. I think he got the message.

"I have a question for you," he said. I noticed the longer we were together, the less he hesitated to say something.

"Hmm?" I asked. He paused for a while again.

"Are you afraid of me?" Believe it or not I was after the whole thing with Kowalski. But he wouldn't hurt me; he was protecting me.

"No," I said honestly. After that we just sat there and listened to each other breathe. I felt safe here right now. I didn't even remember we were in the school parking lot. I felt tears in my eyes again. Nick noticed.

"What's wrong, Bea," he whispered. I think that's the first time I've heard him say my name.

"I'm afraid he…" he hugged me tighter.

"I know," he said, "That he did not do that to you. If he did I would've known… trust me."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked him.

"I just am," he said, "Trust me."

"Okay," I said.

"Can I say something to you?" he asked. I made myself sit up so I could look at him. He sat up slowly too. He was close to my face.

"Yes," I said. He sighed and looked down.

"I'm scared… of you," he said. I raised my eyebrows, "I'm afraid that… one day, you will hurt me. I-I just don't want you to hurt me." He looked to the side, "When you open the door to your van, I saw one of them trying to get me in their van, trying to lure me so they could leave me knocked out cold in the snow. But… but then you said you would be with me and… I didn't care what happened. I felt safe because you were coming with me." He looked at me now. I hesitantly put my fingertips on his face. His skin was warm while my hands were freezing, "Was it because you won't hurt me?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, "It means I will not ever hurt you. I don't care what I have to do." I hoped that reassured him. But there was more to this… did he have feelings for me? I couldn't tell. The only way I could tell if a guy liked me was the only way I've ever been asked. They say, "I like you." But his words were so special. I felt my face getting red. I looked away, lowering my fingers from his face.

"Bea," he said my name again, giving me goose bumps. His fingers were on my face this time, moving my chin up to look at him, "You know that… I won't hurt you right?"

"Y-yes," I said. I knew where this was going.

"Then," he said, "I have a proposition." I nodded, ready for him to begin, "I want you to be my friend… and I hope you feel the same?" I nodded a little, admitting it. I felt too safe around him, that should be enough right? It was a very short proposition… but I loved every moment of it.

Macy's POV

"There she is," I said at lunch. Bea spotted us right away, walking towards us. People were too afraid to stare at her. I could understand why. Nick made me feel like I was in danger. But of course, Bryan got what he deserved. He left school right away, probably embarrassed. Ha, good.

"Hey," she said sitting down next to Joe. We were all very confused, waiting for her to explain, "I'm really sorry guys. I'm just as lost as you are. I didn't tell Nick to do that. Heck, I don't even know how he found me."

"Well you guys left together," Stella said, "Where did you guys go?"

"M-my van," she shrugged. Before any of us could get too excited, Bea dropped the bomb, "Just talked."

"About?" Joe asked. He got over the whole thing eventually and felt that the entire thing was irrelevant to our friendship.

"We're kind of… friends now," she said. Friends? Nick Bardwell never let anyone be his friend.

"Friends," Stella said, "Wow, Bea. You must really be special." She chuckled then quietly looked at Joe. He was staring down at his tray.

"But," Bea said putting his arm around Joe as best as she could, considering he was a giant compared to her, "not best friends." I smiled. I knew that didn't mean anything, but it made Joe feel better. Joe put his arm around Bella and gave her tight hug.

"Just look out for yourself," he said, "You're very accident prone."

"Yeah," she laughed, "I am."

Nick's POV

I let Bea sit with her friend in art. I didn't want to interrupt anything. But sometimes I couldn't help but glance at her every once in a while. I wanted to know everything about her. I liked her I guess. I mean, I've never felt this way to someone before. I liked sitting with her in her van, listening to her breath. I loved she way she smelt no one would ever smell like her. I liked the way she tried to calm me after she was nearly raped. I liked how she never stopped reading those books of hers.

I just like her.

At one point, Bea and I met eyes at the same time. I had not noticed before if she was looking at me or not. But she looked at Joe then stood up. Our entire class watched her as she walked over to me and sat down. I stared at her questioningly. She shrugged and continued drawing. Eventually the class went back to their conversations. I couldn't turn my eyes from her. She actually came and sat by me. Wow, brave girl. I must not be over the fact that she wasn't afraid of me like everyone else was.

"You okay?" she asked without looking. I nodded. She smiled, "Good." She moved her old sketchbook between us and handed me a pencil, "Help me with this will you?" She drew another landscape, stone towers once connected but horribly destroyed. I scrawled down in the bottom right corner "Ruins". She looked at me; I could feel it. But I wouldn't dare look at her. Okay, I gave in.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"No," she said, "No… it's perfect. I'm glad you thought of it." With that, I helped her add things to the sketch. Soon the bell rang. I sat there for a moment, admiring her work. I, of course, wasn't quite good, "You're very good." It took much power for me to not smile. She says I'm good after I had a thought that described how horrible

We parted ways for now. I wanted to keep seeing her. Gosh, what was happening to me? Was this how a guy felt when he liked a girl? I don't know if I should be intrigued or annoyed. It wasn't her. It was my need for her. Did I really want this? Or was this just some stupid high-school thing. I've tried to avoid those sorts of things many times. But I have to think of my facts. Bea wasn't like other girls here. I knew that some of our female classmates were fond of the whole "torture" thing. I guess if that's the most insensitive way to say it- well that's just me.

Anyway, I knew Bea was not like that because she had experience like that too. I've pointed it out far too many times. It doesn't matter how much experience… but she's the only one here who could ever come close to imagining… and she can; she has a sharp intellect. I don't know where it comes from. It might be her books, her drawings. It's simply beautiful to marvel her brightness.

No, this was something out of the ordinary; something that doesn't consist of a high-school fling.

Bea's POV

Nick and I would definitely be stuck together for a while. I knew we were going to be good friends if we knew enough about each other. He found me after school. Well, I found him you could say. He was standing by my locker, "Hi," I smiled. He nodded. I meet up with him again, completely oblivious to the stares. Gosh, screw them, "You need a lift?"

"I can walk," he said.

"Nonsense," I replied, "It's freezing outside." He stared at me for a moment, something he really enjoyed doing. Either that or it was a habit. But then I noticed something; the corners of his mouth turned up. He smiled… he smiled beautifully.

"Okay," he said. I saw Macy and Stella by Joe's locker, waiting for him. I mouthed "Later." They nodded. I would see them soon anyway. I would always spend time with Macy, Stella, and Joe everyday. That's what friends did. I would balance this as best as I could until Nick was ready to meet them. I just wasn't going to bring it up so soon.

We reached my van and got in. As Nick shut the door, I started the car. Soon, we were on the road, on our way to the foster home. I wasn't sure quite what it was actually… a foster home or an orphanage. But it didn't matter.

"Hey, Bea," he began. I looked over at him. He seemed to be thinking deeply. His eyebrows were furrowed, his hands fidgeting with one another.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"There's something… I want from you," he said. I gulped, pulling next to the big brick building Nick had no choice but to call home.

"Yeah?" I asked. He turned towards me more, ready to say something that might change things.

"I want…" he sighed, "To know every single thing about you. I don't want to miss one thing." I let out a breath of relief. I was afraid of something else coming; something I wasn't expecting in the first place. I was afraid he was going to as me to lay off. But I really didn't want to.

"Okay," I smiled, "Every single thing. You got it."


	7. Chapter 7

Bea's POV

Last night had been too slow to do anything but homework. I woke up this particular morning with an anxious feeling. Nick had left me breathless with his proposition. He wanted to know everything about me. No one has ever asked me for something like that. Sure, Macy, Stella, and Joe knew me like they were related to me. But they never asked to know things. They just figured they would learn them over time. But it was as if Nick felt he was running out of time. It was either that or that he wanted to fast forward this process. I didn't know how to take that.

Maybe I was just over analyzing things like always. I sighed and rolled out of bed, reaching for the last book to my vampire series. This was the first vampire books I've ever read and they weren't half bad. Well… there were no sparkling men in them. I laughed at myself and threw on something warm. It's been getting colder and colder everyday.

"Hey, Dad," I said giving him a kiss on the cheek as I entered the kitchen. Usually I was up before him but he seemed to be high on his feet today.

"Hey," he said, "You seem better."

"I am," I smiled, "I guess I just… feel more thankful."

"Good," he said, "I'm glad to hear that."

"Yeah," I said, "Well I should get to school." I was almost out when my dad called me back.

"Bea," he said.

"What's up?" I asked backing up.

"So… did you talk to Nick yesterday?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "Um, I thanked him for taking me to the hospital. I guess he was just afraid to stay with me."

"You talk to him a lot?" he asked.

"Um, I guess," I said, "We're… kind of friends." My dad raised his eyebrows. He knew just like everyone else that Nick didn't let just anyone be his friend.

"Hmph," he said trying to act normal, "Well he's a nice kid. Have him over some time."

"Sure, dad," I smiled. With that, I walked out the door, heading for school. As I shut the door, I saw Nick standing by my gate, "Hi."

"Hey," he said, "I um…" he was scratching the back of his head like he was nervous, "I was wondering if you would walk to school with me."

"Yeah," I said almost a little too quickly, "Of course." Nick silently opened the gate for me. I slowly walked out and shut it myself. Then we just started walking.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm thinking of where to start."

"Take your time," I smiled. Wow, he really wanted to jump into it.

"You know," he said, "I've never done this before."

"Done what?" I asked.

"Become friends with somebody," he said. He was smiling again, "I guess… no one ever wanted to be."

"Well," I sighed, "I do and… other people should."

"They're too scared," he said. He looked at me, "But not you." I shook my head, a small smile growing on my face. He shook his head, almost about to laugh. He had such a wonderful smile, I couldn't even come close to imagining what his laugh sounded like, "So… what is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen."

"Hmm," I said, "I was expecting the famous 'my favorite color' question." Nick waited for an answer, "I don't know. I think… my mother." Nick cringed. I said, "What?"

"You're mother hurt you," he said.

"My step-mother did," I sighed, "My mother died after I was born."

"I'm sorry," he said. He lightly put his hand on my shoulder, afraid I might push him away. But I didn't.

"It's alright," I smiled, "Every photo I've seen of her was always perfect. She was beautiful." There was a pause and Nick slid his hand off my shoulder, "What about you? What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

Nick stopped walking. I jolted to a stop afraid I might've said something wrong. I looked back at him. He was staring at me almost in a mischievous way. I stood still, waiting for his answer.

"You."

Nick's POV

I departed with Bea as we reached school. There were not many questions after I told my answer to the first question. She didn't run away. I was glad for that. I would try as hard as I could to find out anything and everything. I smiled when I realized I had an effect on her. She didn't get that everyday; saying she was beautiful let alone the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But it was true. My life has been deprived of beautiful. So far, she definitely blew everything else out of the water.

I couldn't blame her for not… wanting someone like me. I was only a guy who couldn't experience a childhood, love from a mother, family. I was almost as heartless as the ones who hit me.

I don't know why I was thinking about this so much. After one walk with Bea and I'm ready to give her my heart. I didn't know her yet. That's why I did this, you know. I wanted to know everything about her before I gave her things like my heart and my secrets.

What if she didn't want it though? I couldn't bare it, I really couldn't. If I, say, fall in love with her, I wouldn't be able to live if she didn't want me that way.

But I didn't love her… that was way too fast. I've never been in a relationship like that. However, I knew for a fact that no one with a healthy relationship takes things this fast.

I had to imply if she was single or not though. God, what was I do? I was planning ahead of what I would say to her the next time I saw her, my palms were sweaty, Bea… her name just ran through my name.

I think I did like her that way now.

Bea's POV

I didn't want to get ahead of myself. Nick has called me beautiful before, right? I mean, if it was some major thing he wanted from me he would've said it. I've gotten the idea that that's just the type of guy he is. Plus, he didn't like me that way. I wouldn't want to go embarrassing myself even more.

Everyone stared at me, waiting for me to just put on another show like yesterday. I tried my best to brush them off. But the feeling in my gut that said "Run!" was starting to dominate my system.

"Hey," Joe said when I went to my locker. Why was it that Joe was so protective? Everything was fine. Who he should be paying attention to is Stella. They were both meant for each other and they knew it. I just didn't want to say it out loud considering all of the guys Stella dated within a month. She was looking for others instead. She didn't want to make things awkward with Joe. I guess I understood that. But she just needs to know how he felt. They didn't know about their love yet. They would find out some day though.

"Hey," I said opening my locker, "Where's Mace and Stella?"

"Hmm, beats me," he said in an annoyed voice, "They should be showing up any minute."

"I guess we're not on talking terms right now are we?" I asked suddenly. I turned towards him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, "I'm perfectly fine."

"Joe, I know you," I said, "If something's pushing your buttons you should just say it."

"Well, okay then," he said. He leaned closer, "For one thing, I don't think you're safe around Nick." I scoffed and shut my locker a little too hard, "He attracts trouble, Bea. I know it." Joe did have a knack for things like that. He was good at reading people. But I couldn't rely on him for this.

"I'm trouble," I said, "He attracts me." Okay, that didn't come out right. I shook it off, "Look, he's not like that Joe. He has no friends except for me… we get each other in ways… I don't know."

"What," he said, "Say it. Tell me that he gets you the way I don't."

"You know that isn't true," I said, "He just… I feel his pain the way you can't. I'm not saying I'm as bruised as him but… I'm just saying I care."

"We all care," he said.

"You care with silence," I hissed, "And I won't stand by any longer to watch it. Whether you like it or not, we connected. You don't have to right to tear it apart because you're my best friend… in fact; I thought you would've been more… mature about it." I jerked around and walked to class. I saw Macy and Stella walk through the front doors.

"Hey… Bea?" I shook my head and walked past them. I knew they deserved better than that. I shouldn't be rude to them. I turned back around.

"Later," I said, "I promise. Tonight… seven."

Nick's POV

Bea would hardly look at me all day. I wanted to ask her what was troubling her but I just let her go. She would tell me eventually. I would ask her non-stop questions in art anyway. I smiled at the thought. But I wouldn't let anyone see that. Bea was officially a weakness of mine.

I stood at my locker, art my next class. She would be there I suppose. I felt someone next to me and automatically tensed. I knew it wasn't Bea, "Hello." It was her friend…the one who wrote down that note for me.

I looked at her hesitantly. She was calming in a way. I didn't understand though why she was talking to me. I nodded in acknowledgement. She sighed in exhaustion but continued, "I'm sorry if I scared you… um, I'm Bea's friend." I didn't reply, "Anyway," she went on, "I just want to let you know that… a friend of Bea's is a friend of mine. And… well if you want to know anything about her… anything at all… well I'm here." I looked at her, scrutinizing her expression. At last, I nodded again.

Bea was sitting away from her other friend in art. His name was Joe I believe. He didn't seem bothered by it. In fact, they both looked pretty mad at each other. I sat down next to Bea silently, knowing something horrible happened between the two.

"Hey," she smiled. She was looking at me now, her face completely tranquil, not giving away a thing.

"Hi," I said quietly, "Um… is everything okay?"  
"Of course," she said. I noticed her voice shake a little. Yep, she was fine all right.

"Okay," I said, "Later maybe." She seemed confused but I continued, "What was your favorite age?"

"Hmm, now," she said, "I mean, being a teenager definitely has it perks."

"Ha," I choked out. That was meant to be a laugh but I was so nervous around her all of a sudden. It was good nervous though, "What else do you do except make art."

"Um," she smiled, "I-I don't know." I nudged her lightly with my elbow, "I can play piano. That's about it."

"Interesting," I said, "You'll have to show me sometime. I want to see if you're as good as that than you are at art." She blushed, but flashed her smile still. So far, only by a few questions, I managed to know a few things new about her. She admired her family alive or not, she hid her talents, which was odd, but she was modest. I could tell by the way she got red when I complimented her.

"You know," she said, "I still fail to know anything about you." She looked at me through her eyelashes.

"Soon," I replied, my knee slightly touching hers under the table. In fact… "How about you come home with me." Home was a very flexible word in this case but Bea didn't think anything of it. She stared at me wide eyed, but not like a deer in headlights. She was ponderous.

"Are you sure?" she asked. I nodded slowly, still thinking about what I just said. She smiled a little but was still in shock, "Yeah, sure."

Bea's POV

Nick had asked me questions all day. He should've known everything about me now. But he didn't seem to back down. He knew everything… and I mean everything about me. I even got the favorite color question from him. But he asked why. He was so detailed; I wondered how he could fit all of this information in his brain anyway. But I had a feeling he would remember.

"So," he said, "Um, my place is inhabited by a nun named Florence. She's nice… um, a little motherly so if she asks too many questions just let me know." I smiled and nodded, knowing he was a little nervous. He sighed and opened the door to the foster home which we were standing in front of for five minutes.

"Nick?" Florence called from the other room. I heard her stand up. She must've been reading or something. She had glasses hanging off her long pointy nose. She was tall and a bit chubby. She seemed tough but in a good way. She took one look at me and smiled, "Who's this?"

"Bea," he mumbled. Wow, he didn't talk to her huh? "She's um, my friend from school."

"Hi, you must be Florence" I said shaking her hand. She took mine with both hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said in shock, "I'm glad Nick brought you here." She stopped herself from saying anything further and looked at Nick, "Will you be upstairs."

"Yeah," he said smiling a little. She thought… Ha. Today, like any other day with Nick, is fully of surprises.

"Okay," she chimed, "It was a pleasure meeting you Bea." I smiled. Nick's warm hand winded in mine and she pulled me away from Florence. I followed him up a steep wooden staircase. As soon as we reached the top, kids came running down the hall with laughter. I smiled when they all yelled Nick's name. They ran at him and threw their arms around him. Nick didn't seem to mind. In fact, he was happy.

"Hey guys," he said, "I can't play right now." I stifled my laughter as all of the kids let out one big "AAAAAWWWW". Nick laughed thought, "I'll see you guys later." The first door at the top of the stair case was Nick's apparently. He slowly opened the door and allowed me entry right away.

His room was very subtle. The hardwood floor was clean and shiny; his navy blue walls were clear except for one bulletin board. He had a desk/hutch and a small but overstuffed bed with gray and black sheets. The room smelt just like him.

"I'm sorry it's a bit of a mess," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"No it's not," I smiled, "Its perfect." He smiled from my approval. But it faded when he thought of something. I had he feeling he was going to share.

"I have another question," he said. He took my hand again and we sat down on his bed, "And you don't have to answer."

"Okay," I whispered.

"Do you…" he began, "Did you step-mother ever hurt you after the burn." My eyes filled with tears at the thought of it.

"Yeah," I said, "A lot of times."

"Where… is she now?" he asked.

"Um," I sighed nervously, "At a mental facility." I sat there quietly.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I shouldn't have asked."

"No, no," I said, "It was a very practical thing to ask."

"C'mon," Nick said. I stood up as he did. He led me over to his desk and revealed keyboard.

"I didn't know you played," I said.

"Most importantly," he said, "You do. Show me." I hesitantly sat down in his desk chair. He crouched down next to me, waiting for my fingers to do something. Slowly broke out into a simple song I played all the time. Lake Erie Rainfall of course was my favorite (A/N: I know I use it all the time!). I only did a little bit until I couldn't help but look at Nick.

His eyes were shut, almost like he was sleeping. But he was just listening. I've never seen someone listen the way he did. It was as if he was closed off. I felt that if I tried to talk to him, he wouldn't hear me. But I heard him exhale slowly. His eyes opened and he looked down at me, "That was beautiful."

"Hmph," I smiled modestly, "Its nothing." He smiled another great smile. It seemed like we were still distant. I wanted to just move closer. But I didn't do anything. I just sat there, staring down at him.

I don't know what had come over me. I might've been trying to fill up silence or something. But I couldn't stop myself. I leaned in and lightly kissed him. As soon as I realized what I had done, I pulled away and scrambled out of his desk chair. I stormed towards the door, my back facing him.

"I'm so sorry," I blurted, touching my mouth. I felt horrible, "I-I don't know what came over me." I was standing there, wrapping my arms around myself, afraid to look over him. My hair had flown over on one shoulder, leaving my other one bare. I shivered at the thought of me reliving that. He must hate me now.

It was a silence. I couldn't hear a thing. I could only hear my ragged breathing.

"I should go," I whispered. I reached for the doorknob. As soon as I did, I felt movement behind me. Nick had stood up from where he was, walking towards me. I stopped breathing, trying to hear Nick move more.

He did. He was walking towards me. Every time I thought he would stop coming towards me, he wouldn't. It was only a matter of time before his chest lightly brushed up against my back. He hesitantly, reached for my hand on the doorknob and brought it back to my side. Without letting my hand go, he gently planted his lips on my bare shoulder, causing me to let out the breath I had been holding in.

When he disconnected the kiss, I turned around to face him. He was much closer than I thought. I felt like I had to back up but I stood still. I couldn't look in his eyes. I was afraid he would be glaring at me in spite of the kiss he just gave me.

"I have one more question for you," he said.

"O-okay," I faltered. I felt his hand warmly under my chin. He pulled my face up to meet his brown eyes. His face was curious but cautious.

"What is more difficult for you; looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

"Um… I don't know," I said, "You?"

"I don't know," he said, "You wanna find out?"


	8. Chapter 8

Nick's POV

I didn't kiss her. I wanted to… God, I really wanted to. But I explained before that I just couldn't do it. The kiss she gave me was so intense, so electrifying. It was enough for now. Until she was ready, which she clearly wasn't, I wouldn't try to kiss her again.

"C'mon," I laughed, taking Bea's hand. She would let me do that, making me smile more than I already was. Bea sighed in relief and let me lead her back to my bed. She was smiling all the same. I sat down and let her sit next to me. I actually began to loosen up a little bit. There was still something I had to fix, "I'm sorry. I didn't really think."

"It's okay," she smiled, "I did it first." We shared a small laugh that lacked any sign of awkwardness.

"Thanks for understanding," she said, looking at me with her golden brown eyes. The urge to kiss her again burnt inside me like a fire. But I knew that I had to take things slow without scaring her away. I couldn't risk any mistakes with Bea.

"No problem," I said.

"So I have a question for you this time," she said. My smile grew again. I hadn't noticed that it faded after I pictured kissing Bea's soft subtle lips. Oh, gosh shut up! "When is it my turn to know everything about you?"

"Ha, well," I said, "There's not much to know."

"I wouldn't be so sure," she said.

"Hmm, okay," I said, "Go ahead." I scooted backwards in my bed so my back was against the wall. I held open my arm, right where Bea would perfectly fit. She followed before I said anything further.

"Did you grow up here?" she asked.

"Mhm," I said quietly, "I've been here forever." She put her hands on her knees, squeezing them tightly, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she replied, "I'm… scared to ask you anything else." I reached for on of her hand and played with it in my hands.

"Don't be," I said, "I'll answer everything you ask me." It was time to let my walls down for her. She wouldn't tell anyone that would try to hurt me. Macy, the girl I had tried to ignore when she approached me, would be the only one told and she wasn't going to do anything to me despite how I acted in front of her.

"Are you sure?" she asked. I still looked at her hand, tracing the indents in her palm.

"Yeah," I said simply. She turned towards me more, making it more manageable to examine her hand. It would keep me occupied, like getting a shot from a doctor. Whatever she said, I had to answer. I wanted to.

"How many families have you been to," she whispered.

"Good question," I smiled sadly, "Um, quite a few." I took a deep breath, "I was with my normal family until I was maybe seven or eight. Then they… um… they disappeared. Anyway, after that I would go somewhere every two months or so. But as I got older, it slowed down. Luckily, I don't get called enough to kill me." Bea came closer resting her head on my shoulder. I tilted my head on hers, feeling the warmth of her on my skin.

"I'm so sorry," she said. She sounded like she was crying. I slid my fingers between hers, taking her hand with sympathy for the both of us.

"It's okay," I said, "It really is."

"Is your family out there somewhere?" she asked.

"I don't know," I smiled, "Sometimes I hope so… sometimes I don't."

"Why?" she asked.

"Let's say they are out there," I said, "And I found them. They could be the worst I've ever experienced, or they could be the best thing that's happened to me." I smiled, noticing Bea's pensive silence "But I doubt that." She chuckled.

"You know," she said, "You'd be surprised how much of a bitch I can be."

"I don't know about that," I said, "I think you're genuinely sweet… and horrible at taking compliments so I'll just shut up now." She laughed but then fell silent. I knew what was going to come.

"You don't have to answer me," she said.

"I said I would didn't I?" I asked. She shrugged. I slowly sat up and crawled out of bed. She stared at me curiously, "I know what you want to find out."

"Do you," Bea said. Instead of it coming out as a question, it came out as a statement.

"How many times I've been hurt," I said, "What people have done to me." She was wide eyed as I unbuttoned my plaid shirt. She stood up and walked over to me. She took my hands.

"Nick you don't have to," she said, "Don't ever feel like you have to do anything for me."

"You're asking the impossible," I whispered, "I want to do things for you, Bea. I want to show you things I won't ever show anyone else… I wish you would let me." She nodded, understanding. She let go of my hands and looked at the floor. I unbuttoned the rest of my shirt and set it on my desk. When she looked up at me she gasped.

Bea's POV

I walked towards Nick, my eyes wide and terrified. I felt like I was looking at a ghost or a monster, but I kept moving towards Nick rather than running away. It was Nick. It was still him, but what these horrible people left on him, brought tears to my eyes.

His body was absolutely perfect. He had a nice toned torso, a nice defined muscles bulging out of his arms. That's why he was able to bring down Kowalski I'm assuming. I never knew he was that strong. But everything physical about him didn't fit with the scars all over his body. I put my hand on his hard stomach, my fingers going over long jagged marks, never to leave him. Across his chest looked similar to his stomach. There was one particular mark right over his heart. It looked like a small dent in him. On his side… was a new purple bruise.

"Those bastards," I whispered, a line of tears falling from my face. Nick, tentatively put his hands on my shoulders, causing me to break my gaze from his past and present injuries.

"Come here," he said pulling into him. I wrapped my arms around his chest, unable to completely get around him. He was hard as stone for a moment then I felt his muscles relax. He held onto me like his life depended on it, "Its okay. You know now. That's all that matters."

"I wish I could make them go away," I said.

"You know," he chuckled, "That's exactly what I thought when I saw the mark on your jaw." He pulled his head away and moved his thumb smoothly along the scar, "That first time I ran into you… I hated it there. I wanted to take it away."

"I thought you were going to bite me," I laughed. He laughed too, keeping his arms around me.

"So," he said, "Any more questions?" I smiled giving him his shirt. I backed up and sat back on his bed. As he was buttoning up his shirt, I thought of another question.

"If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?" I asked.

"Wherever you go," he said shrugged. I gave him a confused look.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're my only friend," he said, "If I could go anywhere it would be with a friend." He came and sat next to me. I had almost completely forgotten about our romantic confrontation. He was smiling at me.

"Why don't you ever smile with your teeth," I asked touching his jaw. He laughed.

"Because my jaw is dislocated," he said, "It's pops out if I smile too wide." I put my face in my hands, leaning forward on my lap. Nick's hand was on my back. He was laughing hard now.

"That's horrible," I said, "Why are you laughing?"

"Because you asked me about my smile," he said. His hand glided up and down my back, making me calm. I looked back up at him. He was staring at me in an inquisitive way.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You are amazing," he said, "I-I don't know what it is. You just… you amaze me, Bea. It's not because you're like me in a way… it's because you care." I reached for his face, putting my hand on is cheek. He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Oh, gosh," I said. His eyes snapped open, "What time is it?"

"Almost six," he said.

"I should go," I said apologetically, "I mean, I was suppose to talk to Macy and Stella."

"Stella?" he asked.

"The loud blonde one," I laughed, "You must've heard her down the halls some time." He nodded admittedly.

"Let me walk with you," he said.

"Okay," I replied happily.

Nick's POV

"So," I said as soon as Bea and I were outside, "What happened between you and you're friend, Joe." Bea had been pretty silent walking back to her house. I didn't mind though. She had a lot to take in.

"He's a jealous wreck," she sighed, "He's just mad he can't protect me like you." I grimaced. I didn't realize this was a competition.

"Oh," I said.

"It has nothing to do with you," she said quickly, "He doesn't hate you. He's just… being him."

"Is he like that all the time?" I asked questioningly.

"Yeah," she replied. My stomach cringed, leaving me short of breath, "Nick what's the matter."

"Nothing," I said, "Um, just tired I guess." She stopped me and gave me a quick hug.

"Go on back," she said, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," I said squeezing her harder. I didn't want her to leave, "Bye."

"Bye," she said. I watched her go in her house, waiting for the news someone would have to give to her.

Joe loved her.

Macy's POV

Joe would not say a word to me or Stella during school. Every time I would ask him what was wrong his only answer would be, "Ask Bea." I didn't want to even know. But I guess that's what Bea would be telling me and Stella tonight. She ran off with Nick pretty quickly. I didn't mind though. He would talk to us when he was ready I guess. But that didn't blind the fact that there was some damage between Joe and Bea.

When I went to Bea's house, all the lights were on, meaning Bea was either looking for something or her dad forgot to turn off the lights to the rooms he walked in. Bea opened the door before I could even knock. She obviously had something to tell me.

"Hey," she said, "Stells is upstairs. C'mon." She pulled me inside.

"Whoa," I said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied. She ran upstairs. I tried to keep up with her as best as I could.

Stella was sitting on her bed, reading a magazine. It was as if they were waiting for me. "Okay, uh, what's going on?" I asked.

"What is the matter with Joe?" Stella asked Bea.

"He doesn't think I'm safe around Nick," she said, "And he has some crazy idea that I care about him less than I do for Nick." I paused, knowing this would come sooner or later, "What?" Bea asked. She was getting nervous now, "Y-you guys don't feel the same too, do you?"

"No," I said, "Of course not."

"He's just getting to know you," Stella said, "We're not going to interfere until he's ready to meet us." Stella and I had obviously discussed this in private before.

"Then what's up?" she asked, "I know you're about to say something."

"Bea," I sighed, "I don't know if you're going to like this."

"What," Bea said, "Just say it."

"J-Joe loves you," I faltered. Bea's face was indescribable. I've never seen it so frozen. It seemed like time just stopped; like she froze. She looked at Stella for some sort of elaboration. But she just nodded.

"No," she said, "I don't… I don't understand. How long have you guys known this?"

"Not long," I said, "Not long at all, honest. It was when you and Nick took off."

"Oh," she said, "I-I have to talk to him."

"Bea," Stella said, "Do you love him back?"

"No," she said tears in her eyes, "I don't… I can't break his heart, guys."

"Bea," I said, "Just… don't say anything. Just talk the other things out. He'll get over it."

"No," Bea said, "He won't. Guys… Stell…" She turned to Stella who stared at her apologetically. Stella deep down did have feelings for Joe, whether she knew it yet or not. Hell, Bea and I have planned their wedding.

"Bea," Stella said, "Its okay… it'll be fine."

"I'm going to talk to him," Bea said, "I have to." Stella nodded, understanding.

Bea's POV

I drove to Joe's house too quickly, knowing that I couldn't walk that far. Joe lived on the other side of town. I had tears pouring down my face already. I was tearing my friends apart! They didn't admit it. But I knew it was true.

I wasn't a stranger to the Lucas house but I didn't want to encounter anyone tonight. This had to be quick and private. I quickly climbed up the fire escape to his building. He lived in an old firehouse but it was quite nice. That point aside, I had to get in the house without anyone else seeing me. As I reached Joe's window I saw him, plucking a guitar. I knocked quietly. Joe jumped and his head snapped up in panic. But when he saw me, he automatically went to the window and opened it.

"What in the world are you doing here?" he asked.

"I have to talk to you," I said.

"And you didn't try the door?" he joked.

"No," I said serious. He straightened his face, "Look, I'm not here to talk about what happened today at school… well actually I am. But… Joe, do you love me?"

Joe didn't answer me. He stared at me for a few seconds and moved his eyes to the floor. I was about to try again, "I don't know," he said, "Did Stella and Macy say anything?"

"Yeah," I said. I walked forward, noticing Joe's face twisted up in a worried expression, "Joe… do you love me."

"Yes," he sighed.


	9. Chapter 9

Joe's POV

"Joe…" Bea whispered. I looked up at her. I don't think she realized this situation wasn't a big deal. Its not like it pained me to leave her side, it's not like I wanted to kiss her until tomorrow. It wasn't that serious. It was mild.

"Bea," I said, "Before things get worse, just end it now."

"What?" Bea said, "What are you saying?"

"I don't know," I said, winding my hands in my hair. I felt like I could rip it out if I tried, "I just… I miss you being around and it… it triggered emotions… I don't know."

"Joe," Bea said, "It makes perfect sense, okay? Look, I-I'll start being with you guys more."

"Bea," I said walking forward. I put my hand on her shoulder, "You are not doing anything wrong. It's me… I'm just lost right now. I'm torn between you and I'm torn between… Stella."

"I know about Stella," she laughed. My eyes darted up to hers. She seemed light-hearted now, knowing that Stella was now in the picture. I thought it would've made things even tenser.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, "Stella is nuts about you Joe. She just won't say it… because she doesn't think you like her."

"Oh," I said in a high-pitched voice, "So… this whole thing is basically pointless then… right?"

"Well yeah," Bea said, "Think about it. I mean, I love you… but as a brother. But then there's Stella…"

"So where is this getting?" I questioned.

"Okay," Bea breathed, "I think… you just need to focus on Stella. Just figure out her… get to know more than you could ever know about her."

"Like what?" I laughed, "I know everything about her."

"Not everything," she said, "Ask her what is the most beautiful thing she's ever seen or… or what her most prized possession is… or where she would go if she could just… go." I raised my eyebrows, dropping my hand from her shoulder.

"Alright," I said, "You've been reading a lot of romance novels haven't you?"

"No!" she said, "I mean… they're only ideas. There are plenty of things you can find out about her." I smiled, knowing she was really trying to make this work.

"Thank you," I said. I gave Bea a warm hug, knowing this feeling in me would subside if I just stuck with Stella. I haven't been giving her enough attention so if I wanted this to work, that would have to be the road I took.

Bea's POV

I drove home happily that night. I'm not bipolar. I just thought back to when I was walking home with Nick and we talked about my fight with Joe. He knew what was coming before I did. I could tell from his face… after I found out about it myself. I would have to explain this to him after… I would not abandon him.

Ugh, I felt like I was favoring others. I knew I had to give Nick some time before he wanted to meet Stella, Macy, and Joe. And well… things would just be a little tough until then. But I felt that I was ready for it. I mean, I obviously wasn't handling it that well right now. But if I could just redeem myself and move on, I would get back on my feet and organize my time better.

The next morning I was anxious to get to Nick. I didn't even talk to my dad that morning. He left really early for some emergency. Usually emergencies here ranged from cats stuck in trees to small breaking and entering's… when no one was home.

Like yesterday, Nick was waiting at the gate for me. I strode forward wanted to just apologize for not reassuring him. But I choked up, "Hi," I said.

"Hey," he said, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," I said. With that, we were off to school. I had to find a way to spit this out. I couldn't have him going all day thinking I was in love with Joe or that I was better off loving Joe. I knew he liked me in a different way… and I didn't want to jeopardize that, "I talked to Joe last night," I said.

"Yeah?" Nick asked, "Are you guys okay now?"

"Mhm," I replied, "Back to friends… in fact, we got a lot out of the way."

"Hmm," he commented, "Good to know."

"I um, I know what you were thinking yesterday," I said. He stopped and gave me a puzzled look, "I don't love Joe… he was just confused and irritated."

"Because of me," he finished.

"No," I said quickly, taking a step closer, "Because of me… he loves Stella. I know he does, he's said it. I'm just sorry that I never stopped you from thinking that I would leave you." Nick simply laughed and pulled me into a hug. I selfishly took it.

"You are really good at over-thinking things," he said, "I've learned a few things through the years." He pulled away from me and began walking. I naturally followed, "Instead of worrying, let the chips fall where they may. Let things just decide for themselves."

"What are you deciding," I said out of the blue. Nick was surprised to hear it but shrugged.

"Let's just say things are going good," he said.

Nick's POV

I had been tearing myself up all night, visualizing what Bea would do if she found out Joe loved her. I couldn't have closed my eyes for a second. In one whole day, I experienced romance, protection, and jealousy.

But I couldn't tell Bea about last night. I knew she was trying hard to make everyone satisfied without making me doing something I feared to do; she was a generous being and I wanted to help her. I just couldn't make myself encounter other people yet. I wasn't ready. I didn't feel safe yet. Until then I guess I had to let things be the way they were. It tore me up even more when I felt so selfish. I hoped that one day, if Bea ever got in my head more than she already was, she would understand.

She told me everything, which surprised me. She was trying to tell me that she didn't love Joe and I was on the right track. It was implied. It was strange, if you could witness it, how Bea knew exactly what I was thinking and I knew what she was meaning to say.

The rest of the day was silence just like any normal day would've been. Unfortunately, Bea and I didn't see each other until the end of the day. I had time to think about things then, put them in order. I remember feeling afraid to be alone with my own thoughts. But for some reason, today I felt fine.

It seemed like everyone was staring at me. I didn't want to feel all "the world revolves around me". That's just the way it felt. It might've been my anxiety of wanting to kiss Bea. Every time I thought of her, I wanted to kiss her. That had to have been it.

Now that things were cleared up with Joe, I knew things could go back on track. It wasn't exactly on track. I mean, look at me. I was freaking out about the smallest things, I liked a girl that I met only about a week ago, I was self-conscious about the dumbest things like the slightest glance or a whisper.

I was becoming an average teenager.

Bea's POV

I spent all day with Macy knowing that she would probably be alone most of today. Joe took my advice and spent his private time with Stella right away. The thought of him "loving" me seemed to have completely left his mind. I had to cheer up Macy though.

"I feel so alone," she laughed, "You're all off with you're prince charming."

"Trust me," I said, "You don't even know."

"What did you guys even do yesterday?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I tried to act as dumb as possible. She didn't buy it and started poking me with a pencil until I gave in, "Okay, okay. We went back to his place."

"His… place?" Macy said, "And… what happened there."

"Well, we just talked," I said, "Got to know each other better." I would not tell Macy about the kiss, about his scars, about the deep things. Regardless of the best friend code, those things might as well be government top-secret.

"I'm telling you, Bea," Macy said, "He likes you."

"What?" I asked, but knowing it was true, "I don't think so, Mace."

"I don't know," she said playfully, "There are plenty of signs. He does like you… you like him." I was about to protest, "Don't play dumb, Bea. I know you more than you think." I laughed and shrugged.

"Okay," I said, "But don't make a big deal out of it. I don't want to scare him away."

"So you like him then?" I asked.

"Yeah," I admitted, "I do."

"It's like a teenage dream!" Macy exclaimed.

"Whoa, don't get ahead of yourself, Katy Perry," I said, "Just give it enough time. If Nick wants anything special with me then… he'll do it his way. I fully accept it. Besides… I prefer his way over anyone else's."

"Bea," Macy said pointing behind me. I turned around to see my father walking towards me. I felt sort of embarrassed at first. He was on duty and coming to see his seventeen year old daughter at school. But then fear washed over me.

My father never came to see me at school unless there was an emergency. Unless he found out about Brian, there was something seriously wrong right now. I stood up my chair in study hall and met him at the door, "Dad," I said, "What's going on."

"C'mon," he said.

"Okay," I replied quickly and followed him out the door. I would explain to Macy later. Right now, the only thing I could focus on was what my dad was about to tell me, "What happened."

"You need to get Nick and come home," he said.

"Why," I said scared, "Dad, what's happening."

"Bea," he said, "Just do as I say. Don't panic. Just take him back to the house."

"O-okay," I replied, "I don't know where he is."

"Room 208," he said, "I checked."

"Okay," I said and quickly darted down the hall.

Nick's POV

I saw Bea enter my classroom and wave me over. I didn't understand why she was doing thing. My teacher beat me there, demanding for an explanation. When I walked over Bea was giving a glare to the teacher.

"I said it's an emergency," she said, "That should be enough."

"Bea," I said walking past my teacher. I didn't understand why Bea became so hostile all of a sudden. She took me by my arm and pulled me out of the room. So much for not drawing attention. As scared as I was, I put my trust in her, "What's happening."

"I'm not sure," she replied, "My dad came to me and said I needed to take you back to my place."

"I don't understand," I said, "Has something happened?"

"I think so," she said, "He didn't say anything. All he said was that I needed to get you out of here. He'll be with us soon."

"Okay," I said hesitantly. I followed Bea to her van. I got in the passenger's side as she started the car in a flash. It seemed that she could sense danger coming. If she felt it from her dad she knew something was happening; that was my only guess.

"I'm afraid, Bea," I said quietly. Bea grasped my hand as she drove.

"So am I," she said.

Bea's POV

As we waited for my dad to get home, Nick had been holding me close like I could protect him from whatever was coming. I was hoping that I could as much as possible. If anything bad happened to him on my watch, I don't know how I would live with myself.

"Bea," he said as he heard the door to my father's squad car shut. He let me go but still held onto one of my hands, squeezing it tightly. My dad walked in with another officer. It seemed that just moments ago, everything was fine. I had learned to let things take its course a little better according to Nick. But now something was going to ruin that.

"Dad," I said, "What's going on?" I noticed that Nick hadn't made eye contact with anyone. He was staring down at his knees, like he was afraid of my father. I couldn't tolerate to look at it. But I made myself focus on my dad and his news.

"This morning, we got a call," he said, "We found… a body today."

"Who was it," I said shakily. My dad wouldn't answer. He rubbed his forehead, like he had a migraine, "Dad! Tell me!"

"Mr. Madison," my dad said. But when he said it… he was looking at Nick.

"That's my social worker," he whispered. He stopped breathing it seemed. He was rock hard. The only thing I could feel from him was the grip he had on my hand.

"Dad," I said, "Who did it."

"Bea," he said, "I had no idea until I saw the pictures-"

"Who did it," I repeated. My dad walked forward and crouched down in front of me, causing Nick to let go of my hand. He was staring at me in the most frightened expression I've ever seen on his face before.

"Bea," he said, "Honey, it was Mary… it was you're step-mother. Nick's last foster mother."


	10. Chapter 10

Nick's POV

Bea had passed out. She literally fainted. I felt like I wasn't even in my body anymore. I could see why she was overwhelmed. I caught her before she fell forward. Her dad probably had it under control though. I just was so used to being alone with her; I was oblivious to the others in the room.

My social worker… dead.

A human being… dead.

Because of me.

I rarely ever saw him unless he was coming to check up on me. It was one of those relationships that weren't even a relationship. For example, if he wanted to know my last name, he would check my file. But that wasn't even the point.

It was her step-mother… Her. That's who it was. I couldn't even breathe. Was that how Bea and I were connected in the first place? Did she share the same methods?

No… it couldn't be.

"Bea," her father said, "Bea?" He sighed and picked her up in his arms. I just sat there, wanting to follow her. I didn't feel safe without her next to me. But I stayed put afraid someone would touch me. I felt the stairs to her house creak. He was carrying her away from me. I felt like I was about to cry.

Soon he came back down, his face growing weary and his breath becoming short, "Thank you David." He was talking to the officer next to me who just stared. He stood up and left the house… but didn't leave the property.

_They _were still around.

Bea's dad sat down in a chair across from me. He wasn't staring at me, wasn't making me feel out of place. I see where Bea had gotten her calming senses from. I had to say something though… anything.

"I never see their faces you know, I only see a blur; a danger. That's all I can expect to see," I said, "I'm sorry… I'm just not use to people."

"It's completely understandable, Nick," he said in a very smooth voice, "I can assure you though, that I am here to protect you."

"I know," I whispered.

"I'm arranging for you and Bea to leave for a little while," he said, "As soon as I get the okay from Florence, you will be free to go."

"Florence," I said quickly, "You have to make sure she's okay. There are kids there too. Just… make sure their safe."

"Trust me, Nick," he said, "They will be protected." But we both knew She wouldn't go for them. They were looking for me… Bea. Both of us.

"Bea and I would've met whether I wanted us to or not," I stated. Her father didn't disagree.

"She will wake up soon," he said, "Do you want to come with?" I nodded. I stood up when he did. Everything was very neat and organized here. I guess I was still afraid that he might suddenly change before my eyes and draw his gun on me.

I stood outside Bea's room when her father kept going. I didn't feel right just going in. So I stood there. Bea's father didn't notice until he sat down next to her. He waved me over but I stood still, "Its okay," he said, "She wouldn't mind."

I slowly stepped inside, walking towards her. I knew when she woke up she would be a little delirious. I've passed out before. It all depends on how she is. But I had a feeling this incident was enough to send her off the edge. Also, she only suffered from a concussion a few days ago.

She began to stir soon after I sat down behind her father. Her hand when to her head, indicating the blow from Bryan had made a toll on her again. But soon her eyes were wide open. She shot up, "Nick!" Her dad moved out of the way, allowing me to move closer to her. I quickly went closer, taking her shaking hands.

"Bea," I said. She was hyperventilating. I moved her hair out of her face so she could see me. It was as if her father disappeared from her room, like we were alone. Once she looked at me, she seemed to have calmed down. Tears were pouring from her face.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, "I'm sorry." I let her sit up. She put her arms around me, crying in my shoulder. I didn't know what to do to make her feel better. This was it…

Bea's POV

As soon as I got myself to stop crying my father was open to answer my questions. I didn't want to talk about apologies. I didn't want to talk about anything but what was going to happen.

"Did you find them," I said.

"No," my father replied wearily.

"Do you know where they are?" I asked. My dad nodded, "Why isn't anyone doing anything then?"

"It's not that easy, Bea," he said, "All we know is that they're in town. They want either Nick… or you." I couldn't breathe. The thought of them wanting me was enough… but to want to hurt Nick more than they already had… I wanted to kill them.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"I'm going to get you two out of here until they're brought in and taken care of," my dad said, "They FBI are coming and they're going to catch them." I felt a bit safer but there were the more fearful questions that haven't been answered.

"She was in the hospital," I mumbled.

"I know, honey," he said, "I know… a man, a nurse actually, released her late at night. No one could've caught them. It was very clean."

"They let her take in Nick?" I asked angrily.

"She changed, her name, her identity," he said, "We're a county police… we're not quite-"

"The smartest," I said. I knew it was hurtful to him but I couldn't take back my words, "Look… I'm sorry dad. I'm just scared. I don't… want anyone getting hurt."

"Why did they go after Madison?" Nick said, "They knew where I was…"

"The day you left their hands," my father explained, "Mr. Madison took you from them. This triggered vengeance."

"And their not done," Nick said squeezing my hand that was lodged between us. That was message towards me. He was implying that their next move was to dispose of me to destroy him. But that was illogical. They didn't know our relationship… they only knew we were both in the area… a perfect target.

"When do we leave?" I asked my dad.

"Tonight," he said, "Late though. We don't want to draw any attention."

"The FBI is coming," I said.

"Mhm," he said, "You'd be surprised out sneak those son of a bitches are." He stood up, "I have to go to the foster home. There are officers surrounding our house. They will not let anything happen to you."

"What about you?" I asked trying to stand up.

"I'll be fine," he said, "Just get things ready. I'll bring Nick's stuff. I'll be right back." I gulped but nodded. There were a bunch of officers against one or maybe two. He would be fine.

I stood up and let my dad leave quietly. I knew this was just as hard for him than it was for me. I was hoping that he would stay with us, he would wait with us. I had to no that everyone was safe.

"Florence," I whispered.

"She'll be protected," Nick said. I walked passed him and looked out the window. Then I grabbed a bag and threw stuff in it. Nick was silent. I felt tears form behind my eyes.

"I wish I knew," I said, "I wish I knew your last foster mother was the one who tormented me my entire childhood. That's it isn't it… that's the only reason we're connected."

"No," Nick said. He stormed over to me. I turned around and he was inches from my face, "No… you are I are… more than connected. It's more than that. You cared about me no matter what Bea. If you're step mother never had me with her, I still would've ran into you that day. I still would've seen your scar. I still would've let you in my life because I want you there." I've never seen such a side of Nick… fierce but true.

With that, he crushed his lips to mine, one of his hands on my ace while the other was traveling around my back. I wound my fingers in his hair, kissing him back. He was completely intoxicating, like he's kissed thousands of times before. His smell made me want to became a part of him. He kissed my throat for a moment then moved back to my mouth. Tears fell freely now from both of us. He pulled away, letting me breath. He moved closer to my ear, "I don't want to lose you, Bea."

**Thanks so much for the amazing reviews chibiyugixyami! You have totally made my day! **


	11. Chapter 11

Bea's POV

"Wh-why did you do that?" That was all I could say. I felt like such a jerk but I couldn't even speak. I was expecting Nick to pull away, to hide. But he held onto me.

"Because I wanted to do that before we separated," he whispered, "If they come or they find us, I want you to know that you are the first girl I've ever kissed in my life… you're the only human being who offered me everything I've been dreaming of."

"N-Nick," I said. My ears were paying attention to the noise downstairs, someone had opened the door. I wanted to believe it was my father… but something told me it wasn't, "Someone is in the house."

"What?" he said. In an instant he was at the door, shutting it. He ran back to me and took my hand. We went towards my bedroom door, on all the fours. Nick put his ear against the door, trying to hear any voices. I did the same, hoping this was some nightmare.

"Where is she, dammit!" I backed away from the door, about to scream. Nick quickly followed me and covered my mouth.

"Bea," he whispered, "Bea, sshh." I stopped to look at him. He was staring at me fiercely, like he was ready to fight, "We're getting out of here okay?" I nodded. He dropped his hand from my mouth and stood up. The floors at my house were extremely creaky, you could hear it a lot from downstairs. Nick reached for my hand, knowing getting out of here wouldn't be easy, "Go very slow."

I nodded and steadily shifted my weight to stand up. My heart was beating so rapidly that I thought they could hear it from below. They would come upstairs eventually. We didn't have much time.

"Bea," Nick said, "C'mon, you have to keep going." I took one step forward and he took a step back. He was staring at me the whole time when it happened…

The floor creaked.

"Go," I said. I grabbed Nick by the shirt and headed for my closet, knowing that we wouldn't make it out my window in time. I opened the door and shoved him inside. I knew that if one of us was going to get caught it was going to be me. They didn't even know Nick was here. He wouldn't let go of my wrist though. I jerked away and closed the door. He would be safe in there. I quickly ran for my bedroom door and threw it open. I would be able to get out my dad's window easily if I could make it. I heard them running upstairs.

"I see her!" Mary yelled. Her voice felt like acid on my flesh. I reached for my father's bedroom door, but someone had yanked me back by my hair. I was now in the arms of a muscular man.

"Let me go!" I yelled. He had a grip around me so strong; I was running out of breath. I couldn't jerk around easily.

"Get her downstairs," Mary said. I kicked and screamed as much as I could. But no one would hear me. The man carried me downstairs, easily, Mary following behind. I didn't lay eyes on their faces yet. That meeting would happen soon though. When we reached the kitchen, I was thrown in a chair. I saw a roll of tape waiting at the table, "Hurry up!"

"I'm trying," the man said. I was putting up too much of a fight. It only was a second later that I heard the fast whip of metal; there was knife held to my throat now.

"Don't move," Mary hissed in my ear. When I stood still, I managed to get a look around me. The cops that had been surrounding the house were on the kitchen floor, their throats slit. I shut my eyes tightly, wishing I could wake up. But I wasn't sleeping. This was real.

Joe's POV

I spent a lot of my day with Stella; I actually learned things about her I never knew despite our long friendship. But then we reached Macy and things changed in an instant. She said how Bea had to leave school with her dad. We asked around and discovered Nick had left with her.

Something was seriously wrong.

It was all over the news afterwards. I couldn't even imagine how Nick must've been feeling. They knew who did it but didn't have them in custody yet. Considering how quickly word traveled around here, the FBI came up a few times.

I had been sitting with Stella at my place. There was something in my gut that was making me nervous, like I had to be somewhere. It was the murder; I know that's what it was. I had to just calm down. That's what I told myself. Bea and Nick were fine.

"What's wrong?" Stella asked.

"Nothing," I said, "It's just… wow."

"I know," Stella said, "But she'll be okay… they'll both be."

"I know," I said. Stella sighed, avoiding my eyes, "What's the matter?"

"I get why you're trying to hang out with me," she said, "You're trying to forget about Bea." Well that hurt.

"You know that's not true," I said.

"Don't worry, Joe," she said, "It's what friends are for."

"Stella, listen," I said, "What I said about Bea to you… was just me being confused and lonely. It didn't mean anything."

"Then what is this?" she asked. I thought about it for a moment. I didn't want to just jump to it and say "I wanna date you". I had to make this a nice, slow thing.

"It's me, spending time with you," I said, "I want to spend time with you Stella."

"Why?" she asked. She started leaning in. I instinctively followed, bringing my forehead to rest on hers.

"Because… I like you." I chuckled quietly. I was so close to kissing her when a rush of sirens were sounded outside. Stella got up and went to the door. She opened the window and nearly jumped out. I went behind her and put my hands on her hips to keep her from falling out the window. She jerked back, her head hitting me painfully in the nose.

"Easy Stell!" I winced.

"Sorry!" she said grabbing her jacket and mine. She threw it at me, only for it to fall to the ground. My hands were on my nose, "C'mon!"

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To Bea's," she said, "I can feel it Joe… they're going to her house." That was enough to make me forget about my damn nose and follow Stella.

God, let her be okay.

Nick's POV

Bea locked me in her fucking closet! I pounded on the door so hard but it wouldn't budge. The only thing I could hear was Bea screaming for help, but I couldn't give it to her. I couldn't help her.

"Bea!" I yelled, "Bea, open the door!"

My worst nightmare had come true. If I could just get the door open, I would be able to save her. I felt my body getting weaker with every cry Bea let through her lips. It was as if the walls were closing in on me.

"I-I can't breathe," I said. My knees felt weak, my eyes were all over the place.

I was having a panic attack.

I had to pull out of this. They were going to kill her!

Everything flashed before my eyes. I saw Bea walking out of the art room, the picture of fire, her smile, her hand in mine. I saw her laughing eyes. I saw her shoulder when I kissed it tenderly.

Then I saw when I walked through the Their door. I saw myself in that closet tied up when Madison came to see me. I saw what they were going to do to Bea.

Then black began to creep around the corners of my vision…

Bea's POV

They raveled the tape around my wrists and shoulders. I was completely stuck to the chair, leaving me nowhere to go. They had me…

And it was so easy. I mean, everything had happened in a flash. Just this morning I was walking to school with Nick like it was any other new day. I guess that's what it feels like when you know you're going to die. You think of how easy it was so see yourself carrying on through life but it was randomly stopped.

This was how it was going to end: me sitting her facing my step-mother and the one who broke her out of the hospital.

Mary had gripped me by the chin after I was properly secured to the chair. I looked at her crazy green eyes. She smiled at me. Mary was fairly younger than my dad. She was about 30. I don't know what my father ever saw in her. I don't know why I never sensed the danger in her before.

"Bea, you've grown so big," she said. I jerked my chin away, trying to stay stuff when I just wanted to die, "You know I'm surprised… you don't look nearly as bad as I left you." She was staring at me curiously now, like I was an animal. I glared at the man who was smoking on the other side of the table, staring at me.

"I healed faster than you think," I spat at her.

"Hmm, I don't know," she taunted, "I bet if I got a good look, I would find the things I left you." She reached for me but I jerked violently, trying to break free of the duct tape.

"Oh, just kill the girl already," he said, "We don't have time for this. The cops will be here any second."

"How do you know?" she argued with him, "They probably don't know shit!"

"Just hurry it up!" he yelled, growing impatient and annoyed from her droning.

"Why," I said looking bravely up at Mary, "Why are you doing this?"

"I missed you," she said moving a strand of hair out of my eyes, "I wanted to see you one last time before I left." That still didn't explain why she picked up a foster child on the way. But if I asked, I would give away that I knew Nick…

That he was still here.

"Well," she sighed, "We should probably get this show on the road."

"I'm not afraid of you," I said shakily. It was silent after that. Mary grabbed my face again, making me look at her.

"What did you just say?" she asked with disappointment tracing her facial features.

"I said I'm not afraid of you, you crazy ass bitch!"

Macy's POV

"Macy!" Stella was pounding on my door. My mother had raced in my room and told me to take care of it angrily. I ignored her mostly because I was afraid something bad had happened other than the previous news we've received.

"Stella," I said, "What's wrong?" Joe was next to her, holding his nose in a white towel, "What happened to him?"

"Don't worry about it," Joe said, "We need to get to Bea's."

"Why?" I asked already grabbing my keys. I lived pretty close to Joe so it made sense that they would walk. But I certainly wasn't running all the way to the other side of town.

"There are cops all headed that way," Stella said, "Something happened. I'm freaking out so can we just go?"

"Yeah," I said shutting my door. My mom probably heard the entire conversation. If something bad was about to happen, she would show up sometime anyway.

We drove in silence. But when we reached Bea's house, I couldn't believe my eyes. "What the fuck," I said breathless. Stella was right. There were people all over Bea's house. There were squad cars, students from school, and Bea's dad, protesting to get in the house. I quickly threw the car in park.

"What happened!" I yelled, meeting Bea's dad through the sea of people.

"Back up, miss," A man with a gun vest on said.

"The hell I am!" I screamed angrily. Joe grabbed me before I could jump the wooden dividers, keeping me from getting in Bea's house. The curtains were drawn and the only light on was the one coming from Bea's room and the kitchen.

"Where's Bea," Stella said to Bea's father.

"She's in the house," her dad said. He was staring horrified at the house, "Mary escaped…"

He started from the beginning, filling me in on everything I missed.

Bea was in the house… getting killed.


	12. Chapter 12

Bea's POV

I've never seen someone hit a person so hard. I'm sure it's happened… to many people. I've never known what it felt like though… to have the wind knocked out of me. I was being beaten brutally. I could feel blood in my mouth. After I had said Mary didn't scare me, she went wild.

"You afraid now!" she yelled throwing me another punch in the face. I spit blood to the floor and looked up at her.

"Not a chance," I panted. She grabbed the kitchen knife she had held to my throat earlier from the table and reached for the tape around my shoulders. After she had untwined it, she pulled me from the chair and threw me to the linoleum floor. My head hit it pretty hard, leaving me disoriented. Before I knew it, Mary had straddled me, holding my wrists above me. She lifted up my shirt, revealing my abdomen. She reached behind her, quickly grabbing the duct tape.

"N-no," I said turning my head away. Mary grabbed my face and put the tape over my mouth. She stared at me with power-hungry eyes, and dug the knife into my skin.

I screamed out in pain for a mere second until I heard the sound of sirens. They were everywhere. The man, who had been sitting peacefully at the table smoking, twisted from his seat, "The cops are here. We gotta run!"

"No!" Mary hissed, revenge lacing her words, "Not until we're finished with her." He still looked worried from my faint perspective. Mary rolled her eyes and turned around, "I know this house like the back of my hand. Trust me, they won't have everywhere surrounded."

Mary turned back to me, smiling. She had cut a straight line down me. She took the knife again and began carving me. I had screamed so loud, I knew the people outside heard me. They wouldn't come in though. I knew how things worked. They were dangerous to them outside too… kill one, save hundreds.

She cut me too deep. I knew it. I was dying.

Mary stood up, sighing from exhaustion, like she had a rough day at work, "Well that is it. We leave her for dead." I turned my head to the left. I saw my only ounce of hope.

Nick held his finger to his lips, indicating me to stay quiet. Ha, as if I could speak. I knew he must've hated me for locking him in the closet. What almost made me scream was who I found by his side.

Nick's POV

The door to the closet had opened after about five minutes of being unable to breath. The dark closet was now flooded with light that was almost too bright for me to see out of. I didn't want to believe that I had died, but that's what I was beginning to think; that white light bullshit was real.

"Nick," someone dropped down to my level, putting their strong hands on my back, "C'mon, Nick. You have to stand up. Bea's down there."

"Bea," I whispered. I flinched at the sound of her blood-curdling scream. I wanted to kill them. My eyes were finally beginning to adjust… I finally saw who saved me from the closet.

Joe's POV

"Nick, that's her," I said urgently, "C'mon, you have to get up." As soon as he pulled out of his stupefaction, he could speak. Don't even ask how I got in the house. A guy gave me a boost through the back window of Bea's room. I heard Nick hyperventilating in her closet. It was actually very "Bea" of her to lock him in there. She would get killed for him.

"What do we do," he said.

"I don't know," I replied, "We go down there and try to get her outside."

"No," he replied standing up. I slowly followed staring at the crazed look on his face, "They aren't getting away."

"Nick," I said, "Are you sure that's a good idea-"

"Trust me," he said, "Follow my lead, and everything will be fine." I nodded and let my heart decide for me. I quietly followed Nick out of Bea's door. We went downstairs, making butterflies arousing in my stomach.

I could hear Bea's shallow breathing mixed in the argument produced between Mary and the man who didn't seem to have a name. More cops had come before; they obviously didn't get the memo to shut the sirens off when they reached Bea's house. I mean, that's what the other cops did. I'm pretty sure they were planning a surprise attack; but the others just blew it.

It was completely up to us now.

"Bea," Nick mouthed when he saw her. I couldn't bear to look at her. I had to find something else to use… a weapon. But before I did I touched Nick's shoulder, letting him now where I would be going.

It all happened fast. Nick quickly pushed me away, leaving me hidden from the man that pulled Nick in the kitchen. Shit!

Bea's POV

"Well look at this, Mary," the man said. He must've followed my eyes and saw Nick. I blew it. He grabbed Nick by the collar of his shirt. I could tell every ounce of progress he made had gone away. It was as if we were kicked back to the beginning. His eyes were on me as Mary slowly advanced towards him, leaving me on the floor.

"I don't believe it," she said, "How in the hell did he know where we were."

"Mm," I coughed, feeling weaker than I did a few minutes ago. Mary looked at me then back at Nick.

"You two know each other," she laughed, "This… is simply amazing. L-let me guess, you guys are friends… you know all of each other." She looked at Nick, "You've wanted to touch her, right?" I couldn't even look. I turned my head away. I could hear Mary's footsteps come back for me. She pulled me up to her. She must've been holding my complete weight because I couldn't stand. She held the same curvy knife to my throat, "Why don't you tell him, Bea… what happened?" She removed the tape from my mouth.

"N-no," I coughed.

"Mm, yeah," she said slapping it back on my mouth. She walked forward, dragging me with her. She pulled my head back so I met eyes with Nick, "I have touched her, Nicky… you're missing out.

"MMM!" I slurred.

"Wh-what?" he said.

"That's right," she whispered, "I've raped her." I flinched when she kissed my bloody shoulder. I wish I would die already.

Nick's POV

Bea's blood was flowing to the floor. I couldn't make myself move though. I remember when I said I never fought of a girl, never hit a girl… never hit anyone. It was as if my body wouldn't respond to my brain.

She raped her.

He grabbed me and threw me against the wall… hard. I could hear something from the other side of the wall break. He had me by the neck, cutting off my air. I gasped for breath, clawing at his hands. But he wouldn't budge. I looked at Bea and noticed something.

She was my family; she was mine.

I loved her.

And I wasn't going to let her get killed.

I swiftly brought my knee up to His groin, allowing me to breathe when he let me go. I was on my knee for a second but then darted up, feeling an unusual strength overcome me.

"All my life," I said, "I've been beaten, burned, taken advantage of…" He looked up at me. I threw a punch on his jaw, making a crunching sound. He cried out in pain. I kneed him again, he fell to the ground. I stomped on his wrist causing it to break. The sound was unpleasant to most ears, "You hear that?" He screamed uncontrollably, "Yeah, I bet you do." I kicked his face, causing blood to spurt the other way. I kneeled over and looked at his pleading eyes, "You will never hurt anybody again." I threw one more punch and knocked him out cold.

"No!" Mary screamed. I heard her throw Bea, her body making an unnatural noise as it hit the floor. She pushed me out of the way. I backed up, looking behind me. Bea was breathing tightly. I quickly went to her. I wanted to throw up when I slide across the floor with the help of her blood. When I reached her, she looked at me with the most petrified eyes I've ever seen. She saw what I did.

I was a monster… just like Him.

"You!" Mary said. My eyes snapped up to her, "You're going to die with your little bitch!" I pulled Bea behind me as Mary raised the knife above her head with both hands. I shut my eyes, waiting for death to come quickly.

But it never did.

All I heard was a gunshot.

Bea's POV

Mary's body hit the floor with a thud. I saw Joe's shaking hands behind her, leaving me more breathless than I already was. I tensed in Nick's arms. I was afraid of him right now. The way he… I didn't even know.

"Joe," Nick gasped, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, "I'm okay." Mary wasn't dead. I saw her still breathing. At that precise moment, Joe had put his foot on her back, making her stay there. Cops had rushed through the front door, kicking it into pieces. Great… who was going to pay for that?  
"Bea," Joe had kneeled next to Nick. Nick reached for the tape at my mouth. I winced but he pulled it off as gently as he could. I wasn't breathing well, things were turning. Joe had untied my hands, rubbing around them to retrieve circulation.

"Bea," Nick said, "I'm so sorry." I reached for his face, leaving a trail of blood on him as I let the black swallow me up.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks again for the reviews! They're really great! Honestly, I don't get reviews that suggest improvement. I totally agree about the panic attack. I went back and read and noticed there wasn't a lot about it. I think I was too focused getting the chapter up if anything. Ha, I guess that's what the holidays do to a girl. Anyway, I hope this chapter is a lot better! And thank you again. Merry Christmas!**

Macy's POV

Stella and I had been crying in each other's shoulder, listening to the crippled screams coming from the house. Everyone could hear her. I had no idea why the FBI would not enter the damn house. I felt so defenseless. I wish I could teak Bea's place.

Then there was the gunshot.

My heart had skipped a beat and I started asking questions to myself. Who shot it? Who was shot? Was Bea okay? Nick? Where in the hell was Joe? He had disappeared in the crowd and Stella and I couldn't find him.

"What was that?" Stella cried. I looked at the house. Everyone was silent. The FBI had finally run for the door, kicking it down.

"I don't know, Stella," I said, "I don't know." Bea's father had disappeared in the house. Something had to give.

They had to be okay.

"Bea," I cried when I saw someone carry her out to the paramedics. She was so badly beat up. She was bleeding all over. I wouldn't let Stella see. I thought Bea was dead. I really did.

Joe was carrying her… Nick was following.

What in the world did I miss out on?

Bea's POV

It's like you're wearing earmuffs. You can kind of hear but it's very low and muffled. It was way too bright for me to open my eyes. I was afraid that I was dead. But I could breathe and I'm pretty sure that if I tried, I could move a little.

It was only after my ears had somewhat popped that everything was normal. My eyes weren't open but I felt like I was in my own room. Except for the brightness and that slight pain in my abdomen, I was fine.

I only remember things a little. I know what happened to me. But everything else was a blur. It was silent so I was scared to open my eyes. My hearing managed to catch a loud beeping.

"Hey," someone said, "She's waking up." I slowly opened my eyes, undaunted now that I wasn't alone. Like I said, it was really bright before. It turned down a little bit. Hospitals are way too white these days.

"D-dad?" I said. My father was staring down at me with tears in his eyes. He smiled a little and put his arms around me gently.

"Bea," he said, "Thank God, you're okay."

"Dad," I said in pain, "What happened? Wh-where's Mary?"

"She's gone, baby," he said, "They took her far away from here." I felt tears in my eyes too.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I let her catch me… it was because they were going to… Dad, where's Nick!"

"Sssh, ssh," he said pulling out of our embrace, "He's here." My dad moved out of the way so I could see Nick. He was sleeping in a chair.

"I could've sworn you were talking to someone," I replied.

"Oh, uh," he said, "I thought he was awake… I wasn't really paying attention."

"So… you've talked?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, "For a while." That got me thinking…

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

"A while," he said, "It's three in the morning." My eyes widened. I must've lost a lot of blood. I know that when it happened, it was fairly dark outside. But it sure wasn't 3 a.m.

"I'm sorry, Dad," I said, "I should've thought about you more."

"Bea, you are my daughter," he said, "I should've thought more about you. I shouldn't have left that house in the first place." I gave him a hug.

"I love you Dad," I said.

"Love you too babe," he said. He sighed and looked at the clock, "Well I should probably go get your friends. They've been waiting for you to wake up."

"What," I said, "Joe, Macy and Stella are here?"

"Won't leave until they see you," he smiled, "I'll be right back."

"Okay," I said. I watched my dad walk out of my hospital room. As I saw the door shut, my eyes traveled over a little to see Nick staring at me. I remembered my reaction to his outburst. How could I be so horrible? "Hi."

"Hey," he said. He slowly stood up and walked towards me. He took my hand and played with it, a habit he was beginning to grow, "You locked me in your closet." His words sounded hurt.

"I know you must hate me," I said, "I'm sorry…"

"Why," he said.

"Because they would've done the same thing to you if I didn't."

"Bea," he said like I was little kid, "You can't protect me. You can only bring me to a panic attack."

"And you can't protect me," I said stubbornly, "Wait… what?" He looked down at me, smiling a little.

"You're obstinate," he said.

"I'm aware," I replied.

"I could never hate you," he said, "I just wish you didn't do it."

"Yeah, I know," I replied but still didn't regret keeping him from danger, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," he said. There were so many unanswered questions. But Nick still looked so hurt, so lost.

"Everything's okay now."

"It doesn't feel that way," he argued.

"Why is that?" I said. Nick sighed. I was about to receive some bad news.

"You can't live like this Bea," he said, "With me in your life." I looked up at him puzzled.

"What?" I said, "What are you saying…" He didn't answer, "No." He was about to protest but I wouldn't let it, "No! Y-you can't just not… Nick, it's too late. Life's not normal for me without you in it." I couldn't picture it; driving to school alone, the same routine. Who would I sit in art with? Who would ever kiss me the way Nick did. I wanted him in my life. He was a part of me. He belonged with me. I felt the burning tears start up, falling freely from my face. Nick saw and took a step towards me.

"Okay-" That wasn't enough. He was just saying that because I was getting myself worked up.

"Nick, please… don't leave me," I breathed out as if I had been holding my breath for hours.

"Okay," he said, "Okay." He took both of my hands, kissing away every single tear on my face, "Gosh, am I going to have to deal with that all the time?" He was joking now.

"Yes," I said turning my head away. Nick cupped my face and smoothed his thumb over my cheek.

"I'm sorry… I was unfair. I just… I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

"Nick, none of that was your fault," I said. I tried really hard to move over a little bit. "C'mon," I said. He sighed and came next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder, "I thought you began to hide again… when they found you."

"I did," he said, "But then… I began to think differently."

"What did it?" I asked curiously looking up at him.

"I don't know," he said. I held onto his hand that gripped my shoulder, "How are you feeling?"

"This doesn't hurt that much anymore," I said.

"That's because you're under a lot of pain killer," he said, "I'm surprised you're not tired."

"Don't get your hopes up; I just realized I wasn't dead. I'm perfectly fine with going back to sleep," I laughed. That hurt though; it hurt to laugh. I wonder how long that would last.

"What happens now?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied, "I'm really scared still… I don't know what people could be thinking now."

"Who cares," he said, "All I know is that you're alive… so I'm happy."

"Hm," I chuckled. I looked up at him and stared at his eyes, his perfect toothless smile. I would just go away with him… never going back. I did kiss him and loved it. It's not those major French kisses that you see in romantic comedies. It was restrained but not enough to be unreal. When I pulled away he looked hypnotized.

"Bea," he said, "I think…"

"What?" I encouraged. He thought for a moment and smiled.

"Nothing," he said kissing my cheek, "Don't worry about it."

Nick's POV

The thought of leaving Bea here alone had even me feeling her helplessness. It was like being told your future would be lonely. We couldn't be that way anymore. Plus, Bea had a great point. Life would seem dysfunctional without her.

I know what you're thinking though… I wasn't going to tell Bea that I loved her. I couldn't tell her she was the reason for everything. That wasn't healthy for a working relationship. I wasn't ready anyway. We had plenty of time together. I don't see why we had to rush.

Bea's father had mentioned that Mary was arrested after my incident. He, somehow, had gotten away. He broke Mary out of the hospital and ever since they've been making a plan to knock off Bea and leave the country. I wasn't even a part of the equation until Joe and I showed up.

Joe… I had a new respect for him. After all, he saved us both. He let me out of the closet; he saved us from getting stabbed to death. I wondered for a moment where he was. If anything, I owed him my life.

I had been sitting with Bea. She had tried to ask me what was on my mind but I rightfully declined, telling her it wasn't important. Somebody had knocked on Bea's door. Bea looked up at me.

"It's them," she said, "Just pretend to be asleep." I looked down at her, knowing that it wasn't appropriate to avoid this meeting any longer. I stood up carefully without provoking pain from Bea's injuries. I went for the door and took a deep inhale. I opened the door and met eyes with three anxious friends.

I was a little nervous saying anything. Bea had looked at me in a questioning way. I think I just got it… what she was trying to say. I nodded.

"Guys," she said, "This is Nick Bardwell… I don't think you've all been introduced."


	14. Chapter 14

Joe's POV

I was surprised… really surprised. After I carried Bea out, I let the ambulance take her. Then I picked up Macy and Stella and took them to the hospital. They said she was fine but she was just unconscious and weak so they didn't want too many people in the room at once. But we weren't going anywhere until we saw her.

Nick hadn't run away from us. In fact, he was tempted to say something to us. I mean, we've spoken to each other, but the circumstances were obviously different. Stella looked the most nervous but Macy had walked forward and stared at him welcomingly.

"Hi, Nick," she said as if they've already met, "I'm Macy… and this is Stella." He nodded at the two.

"Hello," he said. Before, he spoke acidly, like he sought revenge. But now, he was very quiet, very calm. He looked at me apologetically.

"Hey, Nick," I waved.

"Hi," he replied.

"Joe," Bea called, "Come here right now." I smiled and looked at her. She held her arms out for me. I strode over to her, pulling her gently in my arms. She hugged me tighter than I thought she could handle but I didn't bother to protest. I was just happy she was alive, "You saved my life," she said.

"No," I said, "No, I really didn't." I blushed a bit, I have to confess.

"She's right," Nick said from behind me. I stood up straight and turned towards him, "If you weren't there, Bea wouldn't be here… thank you, Joe."

"It wasn't a problem," I replied, "Really." I knew that he was great for Bea. I knew that he is a big deal in her life, making him a big deal in mine. I can't say that small want for Bea will go away easily. Nevertheless, time will be on my side; and so will Stella.

"Joe," Bea said, "What happened to your nose?"

"Uh," I laughed, "Don't worry about it."

"I hit him," Stella said raising her hand.

"Ah," Bea chuckled. Stella and Macy walked for Bea and hugged her lightly. I wondered how long she would be so fragile. But her smile didn't show an ounce of pain.

"So, um, how did you guys find out?" Nick asked.

"It was all over school pretty quick," Macy admitted, "But this was a whole new level. I mean… I'm still a little confused to what happened… Joe, how did you get in the house?" I looked down at the floor. I had been hoping to avoid that question. Looks like I'm screwed now.

"Um, someone helped me through the window," I said.

"Who?" Bea asked.

"Bea, look," I said, "I don't want you to freak out. It was a real spur of the moment thing."

"Joe, I can handle it," she said.

"It was… Bryan," I said, "Bryan Kowalski." She was surprised at first but then shrugged.

"Remind me to thank him when I go back to school," she said. Nick gave a grimace. He obviously didn't want anything to do with him. My feelings didn't change for him either, "It's the appropriate thing to do."

"Don't be so sure," Nick said.

"I can't help but ask," Stella said intentionally changing the subject, "Are you guys… you know… dating." Nick laughed at that.

"Um," Bea said, "I don't…"

"Sorry," Stella said, "Couldn't help it." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nick whisper something to Stella, causing her to let out a giddy laugh. That obviously was a yes.

Bea's POV

I had said goodnight (or good morning rather) to Stella and Macy. Florence had agreed to let Nick stay with me. But I had to have a conversation with my superman first. I had asked Nick to walk Stella and Macy out and make sure they make it out okay. Joe was sitting next to me, looking sadly at my injuries. I knew he was trying to be modest in front of everyone. But I knew Joe was bothered.

"You did the right thing," I said.

"I feel like shit," he replied.

"She's not dead," I persuaded, "You saved my life Joe…"

"That's not it," he shook his head, "No matter what I do… you will always have those scars because I didn't get there sooner." I was about to protest but then realized something. I remember a day when I looked at my dad's gun and thought of how ridiculous it was. But I said that one day it might save someone.

"How knew," I said to myself.

"What?" Joe asked not hearing me.

"Listen, Joe," I continued, "Its okay. You're not thinking about the amazing things you've done… you are literally my hero… and you're certainly Nick's. I owe you everything."

"Ha," he said, "I won't hear anything of it." He moved a strand of hair out of my face. It seemed to always be there, dangling in front of my eye, "It just…"

"What?" I asked. He shut his eyes, his hand still on my face.

"The more I'm around you," he whispered, "The more I love you." I could hear the misery in the tone of his voice. It was almost false to my ears. He was saying that for my own good and I didn't want to strain him any further. Joe wouldn't look at me. He had a warped look on his face; the sadness didn't belong.

"Joe," I said, "Don't be upset." He looked at me, his face not changing, "I don't know how to convince you… but… think about Stella. What should she think?"

"I don't know," he said, "That's why I feel like I've done worse than better. If I wasn't so crazy about you, I would be with Stella already. That's why… maybe I should've kept my distance. It's worse being away from you, Bea. I know it sounds cruel but… God, I don't know what to do."

"Neither do I," I said pulling him in a hug, "I will think, Joe. I just have to sort things out in my head."

"So do I," he laughed. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, not minding the silence in each other's arms. I wasn't sure what I felt for Joe. I mean, I wasn't confused in the sense of liking him. It wasn't the fact that he saved my life and I was trying to do something nice for him. I just think… Joe is a great guy. He's always been genuine and helpful. He always listens to me. He does everything for his friends. Like… when he washed Macy's hair when she broke both of her arms, or the way he always scrapes the mayo off of Stella's burger because he knows how much she hates it. And he worked together with the guy who almost raped me to save mine and Nick's life.

Maybe I did love Joe. Maybe it was completely normal too.

But what if I love Nick too… I couldn't do this. I couldn't break his heart. My feelings for him was just as strong as Joe's… possibly stronger. I felt so confused, lost. This would take a while to sort through. Think about this. My brain is an office where there is a big file cabinet for Nick and another one for Joe. Then there was a big earthquake and both file cabinets were knocked over, causing everything to scatter. Now I have to pick up the mess and figure out what goes where.

"I should go," Joe said pulling away to look at me, "Don't hurt yourself."

"Never," I chuckled. Joe slowly leaned in and pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Bye," he whispered. He had my hand as he walked away, letting it go as he reached the point where I could no longer follow.

Nick's POV

"So you guys aren't dating," Stella said as we walked out of the hospital. I liked her. She was funny in the sense of lightening a situation, "But you like her, right?"

"Right," I said, "But… I want to just give her some time to figure things out."

"Totally makes sense," Stella said, "But you guys will be great together. Trust me."

"Stell," Macy said, "I'll meet you in the car."

"Sure," she shrugged, "See you later, Nick."

"Bye," I waved. Stella had stridden to the car. Macy was obviously annoyed with her. I didn't blame her I guess. She would have to listen to it all night. Macy had turned to me after she knew Stella was out of ear shot.

"So," Macy said, "You've got a bit of a problem." I knew what she was talking about. I nodded, "Joe really cares about her."

"And if she wants to go with him, I don't see why she shouldn't," I said calmly. But I did she why she shouldn't. I couldn't be able to deal with the fact that Bea was with Joe, holding hands with Joe, hands that I loved. I couldn't bear to see her kissing Joe with those lips that I recently found dangerous irresistible. I would become a bitter, jealous child.

"We both know that's not true," Macy said, her eyes sad, "But… just give Bea some time you know?" I nodded, knowing that was an important aspect for this situation, "If it makes it any easier, I know she loves you."

"How," I said quietly. Macy walked forward so I could catch her eyes.

"I saw it by the way she looked at you," Macy said, "She's my best friend… I've never seen her look at anyone like that except us and her father… you are definitely special Nick."

"Thanks," I said, "I'll, um, I'll see you around." Macy nodded, walking to the car to wait for Joe. He had walked out of the hospital just in time. He didn't say anything because we both knew what was going on.

We were competing for Bea. It was immature and silly. I've never done anything like that before, but it was happening. I could see it growing inside both of us. I guess there wasn't much I could do about it. If I didn't do anything, Joe would have her. Ha, well I guess I could screw up on both ends of the equation. Besides, what did I have to lose except the only girl that understood and cared for me?

"Joe," I called in spite of myself. Joe turned around.

"Yeah?" he said neutrally.

"Thanks," I said. He nodded, secretly scrutinizing my face, my thoughts.

"Don't mention it," he said.

Bea's POV

Nick entered my room after saying goodbye to Joe, Macy, and Stella. He seemed troubled but quickly covered it up after he laid eyes on me. I moved over for him again, letting him crawl in bed with me. My dad would just have to deal with it. If he wanted to leave, he could.

"They're good friends," he said, "Really good friends."

"Yeah," I replied, "They're great." Nick looked down at me and smiled a little.

"You know," he said, "I just want to let you know, Joe is a great guy." I looked away, picking at my nail and trying to act as mindless as possible. I really wish he wouldn't say it, "And don't let me get in the way what might happen between you two."

"Nick," I scoffed, "I don't… I don't know what I'm going to do. But… don't try and help me decide."

"Why not?" he asked.

"You might make me choose incorrectly," I said, "I see you trying to make me decide opposite of you. But you have no idea."

"Mmm," he said, "Point taken. I'll just shut-up then."

"Good," I replied putting his arm over my shoulder.

Things were going to change… big time.


	15. Chapter 15

**I would consider this like a part 2 because of the time shift. It's been about a week and Bea is going back to school for the first time. **

Bea's POV

_She screamed so loud I thought the next town could hear. _

_ She just faked it. What a loser._

_ Can you imagine all of the attention she's expecting. _

_ Did you know her step- mom raped her?_

"Bea!" my eyes snapped open to my father possibly trying to physically shake me away. His hands were on my shoulders, he had that same worried look on his face; the chances were leaning towards he woke me up… again.

"Oh," I replied, "Hey."

"You have to get to school," he said, "Remember?"

"Right," I said.

"Man, these painkillers have you knocked out," he said, "Literally."

"Dad," I laughed, "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"How's the pain doing?" he asked.

"Everything's a lot better than it was the last time I was here," I said looking at my ceiling as I was still lying on my back. My dad asked me that everyday in the hospital and the whole three days I've been back home.

"Bea, you don't have to go to school today," he said encouragingly. He was fully convinced that I wasn't ready to go to school or anything. But I would be fine. He just didn't realize I had the greatest friends in the world will be joined to my hip as much as possible.

"Tempting," I chuckled sarcastically. At times it still hurt to laugh but I couldn't not laugh; it was impossible, "But I think I can make it through a school day." Despite what my nightmares said, I believed that I would be just fine.

"I just get nervous sometimes, Bea," he said, "I mean, it's only been around a week. You're moving fine, it's just…I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I know what you mean; Dad," I said, "But I won't know what happens until I try. Besides, I'll have my friends." My father never understood my friend obsession. But what else could I rely on when I came to school? They are all I have there. Plus, I haven't seen any of them since… well; I don't have the answer to that. It's been too long though for any normal teenage girl.

"Okay," he said, "But just take it easy, okay?"

"Right," I said.

"I gotta get down to the station," he replied, "Love you, Bea."

"Love you too," I waved. When my dad left, I grew anxious. I didn't like being in the house alone all the time. I still just wasn't use to it. I suppose I never liked being alone at home.

I slowly got out of bed, making sure that none of my stitches burst. The cuts were beginning to close more progressively; I wasn't really that afraid anything would break. But it still hurt a lot some times.

I had walked downstairs, listening to the horrifying noise of silence. It was horrible how you walk in your own kitchen and see blood all over the floor, the lifeless bodies of children's fathers laying there, my blood mixing in with theirs. I shuddered and glared at my kitchen table. I couldn't even sit in the damn chair. I walked out of the kitchen all together, remembering that the doctor said I had to eat a lot. Psh, screw it.

The air had gotten even colder outside. It was January. It felt good to finally be outside, breathing in oxygen and the smell of sunlight. It was simply a dream to walk out of my own house in my small town.

On the other hand, the best part of it all was that my father had forgotten to confiscate my car keys. I reached in my jacket pocket, smiling at the sound of the jingle. I had to walk through a trail of snow to get to the garage but it was so worth it. I owned a Volkswagen bus that had managed to stay in good condition. Even in the winter, it never gave me trouble.

"And what in the world are _you_ doing?"

I jumped, like I had been pushed off a cliff. I shivered with anticipation, only turning around to see the simple smile and the brown eyes of my Nick. Ha… my Nick. That had a nice ring to it.

"Mmm," he said, "This won't do."

"C'mon," I whined, "You can't do this."

"I can," Nick strode forward and took my keys gently, "And I will."

"I don't see why I can't drive," I argued, "I'm perfectly fine."

"Ha," Nick chortled sourly. He linked arms with me and led me out of my garage. I guess walking would have to do. I looked at Nick intriguingly. I haven't seen him along with Macy, Stella, and Joe in (I'm guessing) five days. I put my arms around his shoulders and hugged him as we walked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said, "Just missed you." I let him go.

"I've been meaning to come see you," he said, "Florence just won't let me out these days."

"You'd get bored sitting there with me," I said.

"I doubt that," he replied, "You fail to bore me." Nick's hand had brushed up against mine, but he pulled away as naturally as possible. Ever since my first night in the hospital, Nick would try not to physically lay a hand on me. It was exhausting but I understood why. If I wanted this to be fair, I would have to keep my distance.

"So," I began, "How bad is it?"

"Is what?" he asked. He sounded as if he was pulled out of a day-dream. I ignored it, knowing that if I asked he wouldn't tell me.

"Talk," I said miserably.

"Don't worry," he said, "It isn't super bad"

"Good," I said.

School was always the same. My dad would come home with truck-loads of homework which I gladly did. It kept me somewhat distracted from my house. But I still wished I could see my friends. Now was a time to move forward. I began to feel better about today already.

"I'll see you soon, Bea," Nick said, "Just… be careful."

"Okay," I said. Nick smiled that perfect smile of his and sauntered off down the hall. As he left, I felt a sudden feeling of loneliness come over me. I mean, I just wanted him to be around me.

"Bea!" someone screamed from down the hallway. I turned around to see Macy and Stella running down the hallway, pushing innocent bystanders to their doom. I laughed, preparing for impact. Fortunately, they stopped right in front of me then gave me a soft hug.

"You're back!" Macy chirped, "How do you feel?"

"I'm alright," I smiled.

"You look great too," Stella said, "Even you're color is back." I nodded, letting them link arms with me so I could go to my locker, "We have to tell you everything that's been going on!"  
"Stuff's happened… here?" I joked.

"Well, minor things," Macy commented, "Mr. James' pet turtle bit Sam Zelwegger's finger. It was hilarious."

"Yeah," Stella said, "And someone painted the boy's bathroom pink."

"Seems interesting," I laughed, "You guys doing okay?"

"Now that you're here," Macy said, "The good old gang… together again."

"Ha," I said, "Too bad I can't have my van yet."

"We'll fix that." I turned around to see Joe waiting for me at my locker. I smiled, momentarily pulling away from Stella and Macy. I walked forward and gave Joe a warm hug, "Hey, Bea."

"Hey," I smiled. Macy and Stella had slowly backed away, letting him and I have alone time. For some reason, Stella had been avoiding Joe. I would think she would be upset or even somewhat jealous. But she was encouraging him. I could see it in her face. I didn't understand it. I would have to ask her. Of course, there were no hard feelings between us. I hadn't heartened Joe to say things that involve loving me. Stella had even said in the hospital once that she didn't feel things for Joe that way. I felt bad all the same though.

"You look great," he said as I opened my locker.

"Thanks," I said, "I feel that way." He didn't mind the silence that filled afterwards. I grabbed what I needed for homeroom.

"I'm sorry," he said, "For not visiting you."

"Its fine," I said simply, "No big deal." Joe laughed, grabbing a pencil out of my locker and giving it to me. I usually forgot one.

"You're attempts to make things light suck," he said, reaching out and stroking his fingers in my hair, "You can tell me your mad." Joe was bit touchier than Nick. But that was just him. I didn't really mind unless Nick and the others were present.

"I'm not," I said honestly, "I don't care at all."

"Great," he said, "Cause you and I are hanging out after school."

"Okay," I smiled, "What's the angle though." He looked down blushing, "C'mon, what do you need help with?"

"Chem," he said, "I suck at it."

"I'll help you," I said, "But… you have to help me jack my own car."

"I think that can be arranged," he laughed.

Nick's POV

As far as I was concerned, I was screwed. Bea's relationship with me wasn't as intense as it started out. The reason for that was because of the conflict with Joe. And when it's all over there are only two things that will happen. That force, that passion that took over both of us will come back or stay away. I liked Joe and I had no intention of interfering with Bea's decision. I'm sure he felt the same. But I wasn't sure how long I could hold myself back. It was so hard controlling my desire for her. It was all because of what this girl had done to me. She made me more normal than I've ever felt in my entire life.

No, I wouldn't give up. I would still try my best. But I wasn't at peace with the fact that I practically owe Joe everything I have. I'm not trying to imply Bea is a prize to be won, but I should just hand her over to Joe considering everything he's done for the both of us. The thing is I'm not going to. It made me feel selfish.

Art was coming up next. For the next few minutes, I had to endure being alone. Well, technically I wasn't alone. I had a bunch of welcoming faces staring at me. That's been going on for days now. I couldn't stand it but have learned to ignore it.

The bell had rung and I left the room a little too quickly. I didn't want to seem anxious… but there was no escaping it. I threw my stuff in my locker and slammed it shut, making my way to Bea's locker. As I turned the corner, I saw Bea's locker. She practically had her whole body in there, trying to find something. I smiled and walked down to her.

"Did you lose something?" I asked.

"Nick!" she said surprised. She hit her head on the top of locker, "Ow!" She looked at weakly and I couldn't help but laugh. She rolled her eyes but was smiling all the same.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied, "I'm okay." But as she shut her locker and started walking, she stumbled, quickly wrapping her arm around her stomach. I caught her by the arm, looking around to make sure no one saw. Nobody seemed to notice.

"Bea," I said, "What happened?"

"Nothing," she sighed, "Just tired."

"Are you in pain?" I asked more demanding now.

"No," she said straightening up. She tried to walk again and miserably failed. I caught her around the arms, almost slipping through, "Yep."

"C'mon," I said putting her arm over my shoulder so I could support her weight. I made my way for the bathroom, making sure no one was there.

When I walked in, I looked around under the stalls before putting her on the floor. She looked dizzy and tired. "Let me see," I said.

"No," she mumbled, "Nick, I'm okay. I swear."

"Bea," I said, "Just let me see." She moved her hands just in time for me to lift up her shirt. I cringed at the sight of her wounds. There was a small part where it began to bleed through the stitches.

But the one thing that completely blew me away, the one thing that just made me so fucking sick was the "M" carved on her torso. "M" for Mary. My knuckles were so white from my tight fist. My nails dug in my hand so hard I think it began to bleed.

"Nick," she said. The sound of her voice pulled me out of my haze of frustration. I gently took her hand.

"It's okay," I said, "Just don't move." I stood up and went for the sink, wetting a paper towel. When I went back to her, she was wiping her face. She was crying a little bit. I put the paper towel over her stitches and pulled her close. She was shaking, "Everything's going to be fine."

"I know," she whispered, "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this."

"Don't be sorry," I said quietly, "I'll put myself through anything as long as I'm with you."

"Thanks," she said. I let her move the paper towel away.

"How's pain?" I asked.

"Everything's okay," she smiled.

"Are you sure?" I asked, "Do you want me to take you home?"

"No," she said, "I just need to get through the rest of the day." I stared at her hesitantly, "Nick, everything will be fine. I promise."

"Okay," I said, "But if I see anything happen, I'm getting you back home." I took her hand and pulled her up slowly. She smiled a bit and walked with me out of the bathroom.


	16. Chapter 16

Bea's POV

"I see we're running late," my art teacher said as I entered the room.

"Sorry," I mumbled. Noticing that Joe wasn't here, I sat down next to Nick would had me wait outside the classroom for five minutes. He laughed as I sat down, knowing that I wouldn't have been late if he didn't make me. I had a feeling he did it on purpose. I hit his shoulder.

"I see," the art teacher said, "Well don't let it happen again." I nodded and began working on the class' latest project.

"Don't start slacking off now," Nick said.

"Oh, shut-up," I chuckled. My eyes traveled to Joe's empty seat, "Did you see Joe?"

"Nope," Nick said, "I mean, I've seen him around… just not here."

"Huh," I said suspiciously, "Weird."

"I'm sure he's okay," Nick said.

"Yeah," I said, "It's probably nothing." I admired how Nick and Joe never had anything bad to say about each other. They got along. The only thing was they were never around each other, not until this whole thing was settled.

Class came and went. I dropped music class and got an early release. I ignored Nick's further protest, knowing that leaving here early would be a good thing. I told him to stay here. Skipping class couldn't be a daily thing for him.

"But Joe does it," Nick persuaded.

"Trust me," I said, "When I see him, he'll get it. Just stay. I'll see you later."

"Okay," he smiled, "Be careful going home."

"I will," I replied, "Bye." As I walked outside I pulled my jacket tightly over me. I was freezing. Walking home would suck. The parking lot was so full it was hard to see where it ended. The only space empty was mine. I groaned in frustration, knowing that it won't be until I'm 30 when my dad will let me drive.

"Bea!" someone called. It was distant; someone obviously saw me but I couldn't see anything through the sea of cars. There had to be a stop to this. A sigh of relief filled me as I found the sidewalk. I turned a corner and saw something simply amazing.

"What did I tell you?" Joe said standing next to my van.

"How?" I asked happily.

"You're spare key to the house is in the fake rock," he said, "And the spare keys to the van was on the key rack." He held them up. I had the twin in my pocket.

"You're amazing!" I exclaimed throwing my arms around him. That was a bad idea considering my last slip-up. Joe noticed me flinch and pulled away quickly.

"What happened, there?" he asked locking at my stomach.

"Nothing," I replied, "Just hurts a little, nothing new."

"Okay," he said his hands gently on my shoulders.

"So is this why you ditched class today?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said flashing a smile, "I know what you're going to say but it was totally worth seeing the look on your face."

"Where to?" I asked.

"Hmm, I know," he said, "Just get in. I'll take care of everything."

Joe's POV

Bea and I could talk for hours about the dumbest things. I would glance over at her every once in a while when she laughed. It was great seeing that look on her face again. She seemed so happy now. I felt so bad that I was putting her through this. But neither Nick nor I could keep going like this. Besides, I liked Nick. He was a nice guy who was just simply misunderstood.

"What's on your mind?" Bea asked when she noticed my "deep-thinking face".

"What?" I asked, "Nothing. I'm okay."

"Joe," she said, "I know when you're thinking about something."

"I know," I said, "I just… I don't want you to know because I'm afraid you'll get mad."

"Joe," she sighed, "I get it. It's been tense lately. But I want you to tell me what you're thinking." I couldn't help but give into her stare. I smiled at her puzzled eyes, knowing she was really thinking of ways to get me to crack.

"Okay," I said saving her the trouble, "I just… I want you to know that what ever happens, you'll still be… my Bea."

"Good," she laughed, "I'm glad… and you'll still be my Joe." I smiled and looked forward, watching the road. We were almost there. But I couldn't help but ask…

"Bea," I said, "H-how is this going on in your head?" She seemed surprised at first that I turned the tables on her. But she reacted quickly. I was happy (or relieved rather) to see that she had smiled.

"I don't really know," she said thoughtfully, "I think… no matter how selfish it sounds, I'm trying to decide what's best for me and you. I mean, I won't pick Nick because of sympathy and I won't pick you because you were my friend first. It just… it has to come to me."

"Now that," I said ruffling her hair, "Is not selfish at all."

"I'm still afraid," she sort of laughed.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Because," she replied, "I'm afraid that one of you will end up hating me."

Nick's POV

Bea had disappeared. I was getting really worried when I went to her house to see that she was not there. So many thoughts began to float in my head. What if she got hurt? What if she was missing? God, I don't know what I would do if something happened to her.

But something told me she was safe; safe enough for me to get back to the orphanage to call her. Even if I didn't, she would have to beat her dad home. Yes, I noticed her car was gone. The matter of who took was something I couldn't figure out.

I liked Joe, I didn't mind him at all. But if he was the one who stole Bea's van for her, he should know he's putting her in more pain. Today in the bathroom had me fully convinced she needed to be at home for another week or two.

When I reached the orphanage Florence was in her usual chair reading, "Have a good day?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I said. For some reason, I opened up to her more. It had to have been Bea. I didn't tell her everything. But she knew the fundamentals of my life, "Do you know where Bea might be? I mean… did she call?"

"No, I don't think so," she said, "Why? Is she okay?" Florence just so happened to love Bea. She worried about her a lot though; almost as much as she worried about me and the other kids here. We all were her life, which was becoming a part of Bea's world at the same time.

"I think so," I said, "I went by her house but she wasn't there. I thought she would go home after school."

"I'm sure she's okay," Florence replied reassuringly, "Just give her a call."

"Yeah," I said, "You're probably right."

Bea's POV

Joe had taken us to our town's only cliff. It reached about 300 feet and when you were on the top, you could see the whole city ahead of us. It was amazing. Joe and I had gotten on top of my van, staring down at everything surrounding us.

"It all seems so quiet out here," I smiled, "I love it."

"Yeah," Joe breathed, "Me too." I was beginning to worry about Nick. I knew he would be looking for me and when he finds out my car is gone… I was going to get it.

"I really shouldn't be here," I said.

"Yeah," Joe replied, "But you're still alive." I smiled a little but couldn't get the thought of Nick sitting there upset out of my head, "You're okay, Bea."

"I don't feel that way," I said.

"You don't need to feel guilty for getting out for a little while," he said. It was convincing, but I saw right through it.

"Yeah," I sighed, "You're right." I jumped when my phone rang. I then I got that nervous feeling like I knew I was in trouble. I picked up ignoring Joe's protesting expression.

"Where are you?" Nick asked as soon as I picked up.

"Nick, I'm fine," I said.

"Bea, where are you?" he asked again.

"I'm with Joe," I said, "He asked me to help him study." I was surprised to hear Nick sigh in relief, "Nick, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," he said, "Look I'll talk to you when you get back."

"Um, okay," I said. He wasn't acting like himself; every since that accident he's been protective and ever since the whole Joe thing, he's been so distant. I didn't want this with him.

"C'mon," Joe said, "Let's just get you back."

"You said you needed help," I said.

"I lied," Joe laughed, flashing a smile at me, "I just wanted to spend some time with you."

Nick's POV

I went back to Bea's house, waiting for her at her kitchen table. When I heard her van pull up, my muscles tensed. She thought I was mad at her, I could tell by the sound of her voice on the phone. In a way, I was. But I had to cut her some slack if I wanted to be with her. When she walked in the house, I automatically stood up.

"Nick," she jumped walking in the house, "You scared me." I stared at her blankly until I went over to her and wrapped my arms tightly around her.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. I pulled away looking at her face. She looked worried but her eyes were smiling.

"Can we just… I don't know… talk?" I asked. Bea nodded slowly, afraid I was going to give her bad news. I took her hand and sat her down in one of her chairs. But she stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

"C'mon," she called. I stood up and followed her upstairs. She turned the corner to walk in her clean room. I walked in slowly to see her facing me, "Let's go."

"What?" I asked.

"Come here," she said. I laughed but walked forward, appreciating her attempt to sound demanding. She climbed in her bed as I reached her. I couldn't help but go next to her, letting her rest her head on my chest. I pulled her closer in spite of my objecting thoughts.

"I miss this," I said.

"Me too," she sighed, "I thought you were mad at me."

"Not really," I said, "I'm sorry. I should know better than to expect this out of you."

"Yes you should," she laughed. I smiled running my fingers through her golden hair. I really love her, but began to feel guilty and selfish. How would I take her away from Joe?

"Why did you bring me up here," I said.

"Because," she said, "I don't want this distance anymore."

"What distance?" I asked obliviously.

"Nick," she said looking up at me, "You know what I'm talking about. We hardly see each other, you're afraid to even touch me unless we're alone… it's like I never met you."

"I don't want to take you away from him, Bea," I said, "It's completely unsettling."

"Okay," Bea said sitting up. She faced me, ready to drop the bomb, "Just listen to me and listen good. You will not, I repeat not, be taking me away from Joe. I've made it clear to him and now to you that no matter what happens you will both be in my life. So, Nick, if you want to tell me anything or do anything you feel you have to do, I suggest you do it… and damn it, just try." I stared surprised at Bea, my eyebrows raised. She stared at me for a moment before getting out of her bed and walking for her door. I couldn't let her go.

I couldn't.

I bolted for the door and shut it as she was opening it. She turned around to look at me, our faces only inches from each other. She was just as surprised as I was. Something forced me up to her, something that wouldn't go away.

"You're right," I said, putting my hands on the wall to block her way, "I had a bad perspective. But… I promise if you give me another shot, I won't disappoint you."

"That's all I want," she said.

"Okay," I said. I looked behind me and saw her clock said 4, "I can stay if you want me to."

"Yeah," she said, "That'd be great."

"Good," I said. I kissed her lips as deeply as I could within the shortest time. I pulled away with her disapproval and put my hands on both sides of her face, "So… what do you want to do?"

Joe's POV

He was good; too good. I didn't understand my sudden shift in emotions, but after Bea left, I knew things were going to change. I could tell from the way Bea was nervous, the way she was afraid that her and Nick were going to have a talk that would make everything different.

With the thoughts of Bea getting me worried, I began to think of Stella. She was strangely okay with this, like she didn't like him in that way. I didn't have a rebound girl or anything like that, but I still cared about Stella and what she thought of me.

As I lied awake on my hardwood floor I thought about calling her. I missed her. Maybe… maybe it would be best of be with Stella, get back on track. I know that the more I'm around Bea the more I love her; but what if it changed. I still had a hopeful thought lurking in the back of my mind that everything could go relatively back to the way it was.

I jolted to the sound of my phone playing Stella's tone. How is she knew I was thinking about her? I laughed at myself and picked up the phone, "Hey, Stell."

"Hey," she said, "C-can you come over?"

"Yeah," I said, "Why? What's wrong?"

"I just have to talk to you," she replied nervously.

"O-okay," I said, "I'll be right over."

"Thanks," she said. I hung up pretty quickly, reaching for my jacket. Something was bothering her. That was definitely her bothered voice. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Stella was troubled by this.


	17. Chapter 17

Joe's POV

"Hey," Stella said answering her door, "C'mon." I stepped in Stella's empty house. Her parents weren't really around a lot. They both partnered in a huge business and sometimes had to leave for spontaneous business trips. I'm not sure where else they could possibly go though. I figured they've been around the entire country; yeah, they're not around at all. That's why I always appreciated how Stella managed to fend for herself. She was strong that way.

"So," I said, "What's the matter? You sounded pretty weird on the phone." Stella sat me down on her couch, sitting next to me.

"There's something I have to tell you," she explained.

"Okay," I said getting a little more nervous. Stella took both of my hands, looking at me with sadness in her eyes.

"I'm leaving." She said in almost a whisper. But nothing could keep my heart from dropping. It was dead silent. You could hear a pin drop from the other side of town, it was so quiet. It was as if I wasn't breathing.

"What?" I breathed out exasperated but quietly, "Why?"

"I got an offer," she said, "From Stanford… they want me to move in after the summer."

"I don't understand," I said, "Y-you're only a junior in high school."

"I'm doing a dual credit," she said, "Joe… I'm so sorry. I have to."

"You don't have to," I said, "I mean, y-you could stay, Stella." I could see her eyes already gleaming with tears. I began to feel anger wanting to burst through my body, "Is that why, Stella? Why you wanted me and Bea to be together?" She couldn't answer; she wouldn't. I pulled my hands away, standing up. A whole rush of emotions overwhelmed me at once. I felt multiple types of pain; internal from her manipulation. The external pain came from my fists, my fists balling up so tight that my skin was 100% white.

The anger was unbearable. It seemed as though time had stopped, everything was frozen but me and the echoing voices whispering the same thing, the same words overlapping one another so they hardly made sense.

"Why," I said, feeling a tear fall from my face. Stella stood up and tried to walk towards me. I was so confused, so angry… so heartbroken. She tried to touch me, to reach for me. I flinched away, trying to find the door knob. I just wanted to run away…

And I would.

Bea's POV

"How's the pain?" Nick had curiously asked. We went back in my bed, curled up with one another. An hour or two had passed with just Nick and I talking to each other. He traced pictures on my back while I wished I could turn around and look at him. Even in the most comforting of times, Nick would seem like a ghost to me. I would imagine what he would look like when I knew his every feature, when he was right behind me.

"It's a lot better," I said, "I don't know what happened."

"Just getting use to being back," he whispered, "Well, at least I hope. I would hate to see it progress to something worse."

"Me too," I smiled, admiring his caring words. I shuffled around to face him. I thought about the ghost, but he was nothing like it. My hands traced the indents, the lines, and each detail of his face. He smiled as my thumb glided over his lips, his eyes on me.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, "Just exploring." He let out a laugh and kissed my forehead.

"I have to go," he said.

"Why?" I asked holding onto him tighter.

"You're dad will walk through the door any minute," he said.

"So?" I laughed. My dad loved Nick… he loved how he was reached out to me and to even him. There was just one thing I wouldn't let him talk to Nick about and that was Mary.

"I just want to keep a clean record," he smiled.

"Okay," I said giving in. He leaned in rested his forehead against mine for a moment, kissing me with his eyelashes. Then he sat up, taking me with him.

"I'll see you first thing tomorrow," he said.

"Sounds great," I said, suddenly not caring that he wouldn't let me drive, "Bye."

"Bye," he said.

"Bea?" I jumped to the sound of my dad's voice calling me. I looked at Nick and we both let out a quiet laugh.

"So much for that record of yours," I said.

"You'd be surprised what I can get away with," he said, quickly heading for my window, "Until next time." I waved as I let him leave out my window.

"Bea?" my dad had called again. I left my room, going to answer him.

"Hey," I said entering the kitchen where he hung up his gun belt. I never even created a negative thought about that thing. It saved all of our lives, like I said it might one day. Can you say irony?

"Hey," Dad said, "You doing okay?"

"Yeah," I said, "How was your day?"

"Decent," he said, "Nothing too exciting though. Did you eat?"

"Yeah," I lied, "I did." I would sneak something later after hours. A girl has to read some time.

"Okay," he said, "What did you do today?" Well, that's a tough question Dad. I almost passed out at school because I'm apparently not ready to go back, I left with Joe in my van he stole from the garage, went on a cliff, then came back and was passionately kissed by on of the boys I can't pick between.

"Nothing really," I shrugged, "Got a lot done, I guess."

"Hmph," he said suspiciously, "Good to know." Ha, my dad knew me too well.

"Yeah," I said quickly. The sound of the landline ringing through the house saved me from further conversation that wasn't exactly truthful, "I'll get it."

"Bea," Macy said, "You have to come to Stella's."

"Why?" I asked.

"Joe's gone," she replied. It was completely quiet except for my dad humming and rummaging in the kitchen.

"Where," I said, "Why. Macy, what the hell happened?"

"Just come here," she said, "Stella will explain everything."

Macy's POV

I was beyond blown away by this. And to top it all off, I would have to hear it again when Stella explained it to Bea. She got there sooner than I thought, making this a whole lot harder. I wasn't sure what to say and even though she told me everything, neither was Stella. She wasn't ready to say Joe ran away because of her.

"Hey," Bea said walking into Stella's house. She followed me silently upstairs to Stella's room, the tension growing with every step we took.

Stella was a complete and utter mess. She was still crying, her eyes puffy and red through her running mascara. I tried my best to clean her up but had unfortunately failed. Bea went right next to her, putting her arms around her protectively.

"What's wrong, Stella," Bea said.

"Joe's gone," she cried miserably, "Joe's gone because of me."

"What?" Bea said letting her go so she could look her in the eye, "What do you mean?" Stella took a deep breath, trying to pull herself together.

"Bea, I told him I was leaving for Stanford this year," she said.

"Stanford?" Bea said, "I-I don't understand… you're leaving?" Stella nodded, feeling guilty. I put my hand on she shoulder, unsure of what I could do.

"Wow," she said, "Um, well… so you told this to Joe and he freaked?"

"There's something else though," Stella nodded. She took Bea's hands tightly, hoping with every essence of her being that she didn't react the way Joe did, "That's why… I encouraged your relationship." Bea's face was shocked but not overly so. I wasn't that surprised either. I mean, it made sense. Knowing that Stella couldn't keep a relationship with Joe all the way in Stanford, she knew Bea was what Joe needed to forget her. But the problem was that Joe didn't want to forget about her and if she interfered, things would've been different. Joe would've been happy, Bea would've been happy, and Nick would've been happy. There would be no competition, no tension. I'm not saying this was Stella's fault. But it could've been prevented.

"Oh," she sighed, "I guess I understand."

"Y-you do?" Stella asked hopefully looking at Bea through her teary eyes.

"Yeah," she said, "Of course. I mean, Stell, I'll miss you so much. I wish you told me sooner. But Joe will cool down… all we have to do is find him. Do you know anywhere he might go?"

"I-I don't know," she sighed, "I went to his house and his mother was in a frenzy. She has no idea where he is."

"Oh, boy," Bea said, "I gotta go tell her not to call the cops. He'll turn up. He'll call." Stella and I nodded but it seemed more like Bea was trying to reassure herself. She wasn't sure… and neither was I.

Bea's POV

I had to ignore the reason why Joe really took off. I had to forget about it completely. I loved Stella and I couldn't be mad at her about this. Besides, there was no going back now. Stella would be leaving and Joe would be alone if I chose Nick. But I couldn't just choose Joe, not out of sympathy or fear of losing his friendship. I've made it completely evident; and Joe was okay. But now that he's gone, now that he knows the truth behind Stella's support system, I wasn't sure what was going to happen in the future.

I drove to Joe's house, knowing that someone had to be home. As I reached for the doorbell, it had already opened. I couldn't help but smile when I saw Joe's older brother Kevin. He was standing the doorway, worried but happy to see me, "Bea," he said.

"Oh my gosh," I said, "Kevin, it's been a while." I gave him quick hug and he pulled me in the house.

"I wish it was on better conditions," he said, "Any sign of him." Did Kevin come all the way home from college because Joe ran away?

"Right," I said, "Um, so no sign of him?"

"Not yet," Kevin said, "But we're going to give it a little bit." Kevin didn't panic as much as his mom.

"Where's your mom?" I asked.

"Ah, she's going all over the place trying to find him," he explained, "I tried to tell her it's no use." Kevin was right; if Joe didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. He was a fantastic hider. If they wanted him home, they would have to give him time.

"I feel horrible about this," I said, "And so does Stella."

"Oh, it's not you guys," Kevin said, "Joe can just be sent over the edge sometimes." Sorry to say, Kevin knew about the whole situation with Joe, Nick, and me.

"Yeah," I sighed. My cell phone had rung at the most inappropriate timing. I quickly silenced it, "Sorry, just Nick calling."

"Nick?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah," I said, "Um… a friend." I forgot Kevin didn't know the other end of the "competition".

"Oh," he said, "Uh, has he been around for a while?"

"Yeah," I said. I wasn't going to question Kevin about his sudden interest in Nick; he was probably just wondering. I couldn't get ahead of myself anyway.

"Hmm," he said, "There was kid named Nick at the foster house around here." I raised my eyebrows, suddenly getting that weird "Twilight Zone" feeling.

"Um, yeah that's him," I said, "Uh, Nick's been there for a while…" It was the slightest flinch coming from Kevin that made me stop talking. It led into a long awkward silence, "I should go. If Joe calls, I will let you guys know right away."

"Same here," Kevin said as if he was lost in his own thoughts.


	18. Chapter 18

Nick's POV

"So he just left?" I asked Bea in art the next day. That morning Bea had been completely silent, over-thinking and looking like she wanted to cry. I had tried to ask her multiple times what was going on and her answer was that she'd tell me later. It wasn't until art that she had let it all out.

"Yeah," Bea said making sure no one was paying attention to our conversation. I guess paranoia was suitable in everyone. I didn't mind though. The thought of this spreading around school would be much more complicated compared to saying Joe was just at home ill, "I have no idea where he is. I've been waiting for him to call but… he just won't."

"Well, where do you think he might be?" I asked.

"I have no idea," Bea said, "I just… I wish all of this was settled." I put my hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be okay, "I promised, "We'll find him."

"You mean you'll help?" Bea asked.

"Of course," I smiled. She gave me a quick one-armed hug.

"Thank you," she said gratefully, "I owe you."

"Yeah," I said, "And I know the perfect way for you to make it up."

"Oh, wow," Bea grimaced, "Can't wait."

After school I told Bea to meet me at my place with her van. Under this situation only I would let her drive. She was still too weak and it plain out worried me. Besides, I figured we'd just drive around in hopes of finding him.

It was freezing so I tried to get back to Florence's fast. I quietly went upstairs and shut my door as silent as possible. I wasn't planning on sneaking out; I would let her know eventually. But it would be too late for her to try to talk me out of it if I told her last minute.

I knew that eventually Joe would show back up, Stella would be leaving, and the decision for Bea would become harder. I wasn't sure what to do. I guess I had two choices: fight for her even more or let her go. Joe will still love her no matter what. But Bea told me to try and she meant it. She wanted to be with me as much as Joe; maybe more. I wondered if she let Joe touch her the way I did, kiss her and hold her the way I did.

"Nick," Florence said knocking on the door. I went to the door and opened it, "The phone is for you."

"Thank you," I said. I took the phone from her slowly as she stared at me uneasily, "Hello?"

"Nick," Bea said, "We know where Joe is. We're going to get him."

"When?" I asked.

"Tonight," he said, "When he least expects it."

"Bea, it's a Friday," I replied, "Of course he'll expect it."

"Trust me, Nick," Bea said worried and almost angry, "He won't."

Bea's POV

After Nick left, I started unintentionally pacing my room. Joe's disappearance had me more on the edge. The longer he was gone, the more I was internally vexed. I had to get my mind off of it. I sat in my bed, grabbing a random book. I looked at the cover and realized it was one of my favorite dark romances. Ironically enough, it was about a girl torn between two brothers. They were both so perfect that she couldn't decide so she ends up killing herself. It's quite sad but that's what makes it great. I turned to my favorite page and tried to focus on every word printed in the pages.

_Incompetence overwhelmed her every being as he whispered those saccharine words in her ear. A smile had begun to form around her mouth until she felt a new pair of warm hands around her body. He was on her other side murmuring the same statement she heard moments ago from her other lover. No, she could not decide. Knowing she might've chosen incorrectly would plague her until death. Hopefully then, death would come quickly. _

My deep reading was interrupted by my landline ringing. I hated that stupid 1980's telephone that everyone sounded way to loud in. I stood up and walked out of my room, heading for my kitchen. I reached for the phone.

"Hello?" I said tiredly.

"Bea." I stopped breathing.

"Joe," I said trying hard to violently gasp for air, "Joe, where are you?"

"Bea, I can't tell you right now," he said. He sounded echoed. I knew it wasn't the phone; it's never done that before. There was a lot of clinking ambiance, "Just go to the port tonight. I need to talk to you."

"Joe!" I heard in the background, "Are you coming?"

"Who the hell was that?" I asked sort of recognizing the voice.

"Bea, please," he begged, "I don't have a lot of time. Just come to the port."

"O-okay," I said scared.

"Bea," he said, "Don't be afraid. It'll be okay."

"Joe why can't you just come home?" I asked. But he was already gone. I slammed the phone back on the wall, picking it back up so I could call Macy.

"Hey," Macy said knowing it was me, "I was wondering if-"

"Come here tonight," I said, "Bring Stella. I know where Joe is."

"Okay," Macy said. I valued how she knew I wasn't going to answer anymore questions. I knew tonight we would all go. I didn't care if he wanted me alone or not. I knew what the port was for.

It was for drunken idiots like Bryan Kowalski, the voice I thought I heard in that phone call. If it was him, if Joe was being this irresponsible we'd need Nick and maybe one more. I wasn't trying to be sexist, just trying to be safe. I knew just who to go see. All I had to do was tell Nick.

I pulled up to the Lucas house knocked on the door anxiously. I knew Kevin would help but their mom couldn't get in the picture. Unfortunately, she was in the house. I could hear them arguing. Thinking that it was a bad time, I slowly advanced for my van. But I heard the door open from behind me.

"Bea," Kevin said, "What's up?" I turned around, noticing that Kevin was trying hard to keep himself in check.

"Um, I need to talk to you," I said, "Alone…"

"Okay," he said, "Just come on in." I followed him in the house. I tried not to lay eyes on his mom, afraid she might be mad at me for interrupting their conversation, "Bea's here Mom."

"Oh, hi, sweetheart," she said. I met eyes with her for a moment, waving slightly. She had red hair, big eyes, and a sweet smile.

"Bea, I'll be right up okay?" Kevin said. I nodded and advanced for any type of stairs. Kevin must've thought I was gone because he started talking again, "Mom, it's time."

"Kevin," she sighed, "I just can't. It's not right."

"But you have to think about this family," I said, "You've been depriving us all from something that just might make things better."

"Kevin, what if it doesn't work out," she said, "What if they all hate me."

"They won't hate you," he said, "No one will… you just need to consider this for the entire family and yourself." I quickly went up the rest of the stairs as I heard no more dialogue. What in the world was that all about? I couldn't get all into their business. I had to focus on what I came here for.

"So," Kevin said as I tried to act as nonchalant as possible, "What's up?" I turned towards him, laying this down short and sweet.

"Joe called," I said, "I know where he is. He wants me to meet him tonight..."

"Th-that's great," he said relieved, "Where is he?"

"The port," I warned. After that everything seemed to click in Kevin's head. He knew why we weren't going to throw his mom into this or the authorities.

"Tonight?" he questioned.

"Yeah," I clarified, "I don't know if he wanted me to come alone or bring someone… but by that time it might not matter."

"I don't believe this," he said, "Of all of the places; I never thought Joe would go there."

"I know," I said sadly, putting my hand on his shoulder, "But we'll get him home."

"So you want me to come with you?" he asked, "I might not be enough."

"I have Macy, Stella, and Nick," I said. I had completely forgotten about Kevin's reaction to even the sound of Nick's name. He was trying to hide it from me, "Kevin is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said, "Everything's fine. I'm just… nervous for Joe."

"Me too," I said not buying it at all, "Me too."

Macy's POV

"So she didn't even say anything?" Stella asked.

"There wasn't much to say," I explained, "She just said she knew where Joe was. She probably had to call Nick or even her dad." I doubted that though. Bea wouldn't bring the police into this. It would just make things even more complicated. We had to fix this ourselves.

"I feel so guilty," Stella confessed for the third time, "I can't believe I did this. You should hate me."

"I'll never hate you," I smiled, "You're my best friend. I'll just miss you like crazy." The conversation was cut short when we pulled up to Bea's house. I got out of the car and took a deep breath, knowing we had a long night ahead of us.

"Hey," Bea said, already waiting at the door. She let us in hastily. I walked in the kitchen and gasped when I saw Kevin sitting at the table.

"Kevin!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him. I missed him so much. He tightly wound his arms around me.

"Hey, Mace," he said, "It's so good to see you." We held onto each other for a few more brief moments then broke out clinch. He had his hand on the small of my back when I turned to face Bea. She was hugging Stella warmly, noticing she was still really down on herself.

"He's at the port," she sighed. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. Stella looked like she was going to cry but Bea wouldn't have anything like that, pulling her closer. The port… with who? No one went to the port alone, especially Joe. Someone had to have told him about that place. He wasn't into that sort of thing; no practical person is.

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"Nick's coming soon," she said, "He said he wanted to talk."

"To just you?" Stella asked. Bea nodded. I gave her a worried glance but she shook her head.

"Even I wanted to, I wouldn't be left near him alone… if he is drunk by tonight," she said.

"Do you know if he will though?" Kevin asked, "I mean… I don't think Joe would do that."

"That's what I thought too," Bea laid down, "But he's not quite himself now and someone had to have brought him there. Why wouldn't they over him the abundance of alcohol."

"Who would've taken them there?" I asked.

"Brian Kowalski," Bea guessed, "I think I heard him on the phone… in the background."

"Are you sure?" I asked nervously.

"I can't pin it on him," Bea shrugged, "That wouldn't be fair… but we have to assume. That's why we'll have Nick and Kevin."

"How much more time do we have until we leave?" Stella asked.

"Pretty soon," Bea said, "We just have to wait for Nick."

"Ow," I yelped, "Kevin you pinched me." I looked at Kevin who seemed a little pale.

"Sorry," he coughed. What was that?


	19. Chapter 19

Bea's POV

"Stella, you're freezing," I said trying to rub her arms. We were waiting for Nick to show up in my kitchen. Kevin was telling us about college; well mostly Macy. She was her happiest around him and that was all I could ask for Macy. I stood up and backed up for the stairs, "I'm going to get you something warm."

"Thanks, Bea," Stella sniffled. She was really torn up by this. I wouldn't ever say she deserved this. I think she was just trying to do what's right. She wasn't intending to hurt Joe.

I went to the top shelf of my closet and reached for one of my warmest sweatshirts. Unfortunately I was way to short. I didn't realize that there was something on top of it. In fact, there were plenty of things that came crashing down on me.

"Ow," I moaned to myself. Well at least I had the sweatshirt. I looked down at the mess on the floor. I would clean it up later. But then I saw something. I leaned over and picked it up. It was a picture. She looked a lot like me but not totally. She was holding a baby. The way she stared down lovingly at the child made me come to realize it was my mom. I traced the picture with my fingertips, smiling the same way she did. I never knew how similar we looked.

"She looks like you." My breath hitched to a stop. I turned around to see Nick standing in the doorway.

"You scared me," I breathed out still holding the picture. Nick walked forward standing next to me to look down at it.

"Have you ever seen her before?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Not in a while anyway." Nick reached for my hand and began playing with it between his own.

"Are you okay, Bea?" he asked. I nodded slowly, putting the picture down on my nightstand. I felt a tear fall from my face. Nick saw and walked towards me, pulling me in a hug, "It's okay to be sad."

"I know," I said holding back the tears that urged to be released. I couldn't do this now. I had to concentrate on getting Joe home before he makes a big mistake. "How did you get in?"

"Macy let me in," Nick laughed, "I've gotta say though. That other guy doesn't seem to like me?" I pulled away looking at him.

"Do you know him at all?" I asked. Nick thought for a moment then shook his head, "It's Joe's brother. I thought you knew him."

"No," Nick said, "Why? Does he know me?"

"He seems to," I sighed, "I don't know. He's weirded out by you." Nick shrugged.

"I have that effect on people," he said.

"Come on," I said, "Let's go."

Macy's POV

We all piled in Bea's van, Kevin taking the passenger's side. I was surprised Bea was allowed to drive but brushed the thought off my shoulder. What was really bothering me was why Kevin didn't want to be anywhere near Nick. I didn't notice Nick doing anything out of the ordinary. Then I was pulled out of that worry by Stella. I mean, c'mon, what the hell is going on?

"I should go in first," I said, "If he's drunk I'll call you in."

"No," Stella said, "Bea, I should do this. I owe him an apology."

"Stell, he could hurt you," I said. Those words sounded foreign when they came out of mouth. Joe hurting anyone just seemed so wrong. But if he was drunk enough or wasted enough… he would.

"Please," Stella whispered, "I'll be in plain sight of you." It was silent. I could see Bea's grip tightening on the steering wheel. I would let her decide for this but this had to be a safe procedure regardless of who went to confront him first.

"Okay," Bea said, "But I'll get right there in case something happens." It sounded a bit funny… I don't know what I mean. I just think that if anyone is going to be capable of protecting Stella it would be Nick or Kevin or even me. Bea was still pretty weak and if she tried anything too risky, she would end right back up in the hospital.

The rest of the car ride was silent. I looked over at one point and saw Nick put his hand hesitantly on Stella's shoulder. He never saw her torn up before. It probably made him worried. Stella gave him a thankful glance and pulled Bea's sweatshirt tightly over her chest.

"We're here," Bea sighed. We sure as hell were. I could see from the back window that we were surrounded by water except for the strip of locations including the trashiest bar in town. It was all supported on one big dock. I hated this, knowing that Joe was somewhere around here in potential danger… maybe causing it.

Bea's POV

"Stella are you sure about this?" I asked her when we got out of the van. She nodded. As Nick got out of the car, he gripped my shoulder to prevent me from moving any father.

"You two can't go alone," Nick said, "We need to all stay together."

"I know," I said, "Look we'll all be in eye and ear shot. Everything will be fine. There's no knowing for sure if Joe is sober or not… but he might be okay."

"Okay," he said, "I'm with you though." I smiled and nodded.

"Bea," Stella said walking up to me, "I think I see him." I looked over my shoulder to see the bar's windows dimly lit, displaying the moving silhouettes of drunks and waiters. But in the doorway, I saw Joe leaning against a streetlamp. It didn't look like he could see us.

I took Stella and Nick's hand pulling them on the sidewalk. Nick and I slid behind a mail slot, looking at Stella, "Okay," I said, "If anything happens… anything at all. Just call us. Don't hesitate."

"Okay," she nodded, taking a deep breath. She turned around and stiffly walked down the pavement towards Joe. We were close enough to hear them both. Nick hand his hands gently planted on my shoulders, looking over me to see Stella.

"Well, look who it is," Joe said. He sounded acidy, like he hated her guts, "I asked for Bea… I got you. Ha, typical." Yep, he was drunk.

"Joe, I came here to talk to you," she said, "You need to come home."

"I don't need to go anywhere," he hissed, "You betrayed me!"

"No," Stella yelled, "I-I mean, I know. I just… I wasn't trying to hurt you Joe!"

"But you did!" he slurred, "You hurt me bad! And now…" I could hear Joe beginning to cry I peered over the mail slot. He was shaking his had, stumbling towards Stella.

"You're going to hurt her," someone finished his sentence for him. I couldn't see him in the dark.

"Its Brian," I gasped looking at Nick. He looked just as worrie.d

"Wh-what?" Stella said, "Joe no." I could see Joe looking at him shocked. Brian had nodded, gesturing for Stella.

"Remember what we talked about," Brian said. My face grew hot, my fists grew tight, the pit of my stomach felt nauseous. Joe moved towards Stella again, causing Stella to trip a little bit backwards. She fell to the ground, staring up at Joe in fear.

"I'm going," Nick said. He was holding me back. I squirmed, knowing he couldn't fight both of them off. I jerked from his grip as Joe stared down at Stella. I ran down the side walk as fast as I could, "Bea no!"

But it was too late, I brought Joe roughly to the ground, knowing he would be disoriented enough for us to get him to the van. Brian was scared off, running back in the bar. I straddled him, noticing he was planning on fighting me off. I could hear Stella crying hard, Nick's fast footsteps stopped at her to make sure he was okay.

"Get off of me!" Joe yelled. I could feel Nick trying to pulling me off but stills stared furiously down at Joe.

"How could you do this!" I yelled at him. I slammed his back against the road, hoping he would snap out of this impossible haze. His eyes snapped up to mine. They were glistened with tears as he realized what he was about to do.

"What's the matter with me?" he cried. I stared down at him surprised. I let Nick pull me off of him. It hurt to stand up. I knew that I had done more damage to myself, the improvement I made vanishing.

"Joe," Nick said, "Just stay there, we're taking you home."

**I know its super short but I have school tomorrow. I know: yippee. I'll update ASAP! Thanks! **


	20. Chapter 20

**OMG! I cannot believe it worked! Okay, so as I was writing that last chapter on Monday night I was thinking "I wonder what chibiyugixyami would think if Joe got drunk". And so I thought about, and thought about. Then I realized that maybe I could… okay lol never mind. Just keep reading because it'll explain everything! Thanks for the reviews! **

Macy's POV

"Bea," I said, "Bea, unlock the doors." But she wouldn't answer. I glanced at Nick who was staring at me with the same puzzled expression. Kevin was trying to get her attention but shaking her. She just wouldn't reply.

"Bea!" Kevin said. Suddenly, Bea jumped and looked at Kevin alarmed. What the hell? She was fine all of a sudden. What happened?

"What?" she asked, looking around the van, "What just happened?"

"You just completely spaced out," Kevin said. As Stella and I stared worriedly at her, Nick went over to her, crouching between the passenger and driver's seat. Kevin backed away for him to look at her, perhaps hoping he would be able to figure out what's wrong with her.

"Bea," Nick said, "Are you okay?"

"I-I don't know," she said terrified. She was full-on serious. Something really went down in a matter of minutes, "What… happened?"

"You stopped the car," he said, "You said we were here… do you remember?" Bea nodded, rubbing her temples with her hands.

"Let's get her out of the car," Kevin said. Nick nodded, backing up to us. Kevin got out of the van, shutting the door. Bea still sat there, motionless and appalled.

"Macy, what time is it?" Nick asked me randomly. I shot out my phone, unsure of why he was asking me this out of the blue.

"It's about eight," I said, "Why?" Nick shook his head, looking down at the floor of the van, "What? What is it?"

"She forgot to take her pain meds," he said.

"Is that why she's acting this way?" I asked.

"Maybe," he replied, "It might be some sort of side affect of not taking them… I need to get her to the hospital."

"The hospital?" Stella asked, "Is it that serious?"

"Yeah," he said, "I think so. I've never heard of something like that before, especially on one medication."

"Okay," I said, "Stella, Kevin, and I will go find Joe. You just stay here with Bea until we can figure this out." I didn't notice that Kevin had begun to carry Bea out of her seat. Nick opened the back door and hopped down on the pavement. He met up with Kevin taking her from him gently. Kevin, for some reason I have yet to find out, recoiled quickly to turn towards us.

"So it's just us?" he assumed. I nodded, "Okay."

"Will we all go?" Stella asked, "He was meaning to talk to Bea."

"I don't know," Kevin said, "Maybe we should just because we don't have as many people."

"Macy," Bea's faint voice called from the back of the van. I looked back at Stella and Kevin, walking off for just a minute.

"What's the matter?" I asked almost motherly-like. She was curled up in Nick's arms, frightened and cold.

"Just be careful," she shivered, "H-he might be…"

"Sssh," I said, "Just stay here. We'll be right back." Something had her on the edge about Joe… did she genuinely think that he was going to hurt any of us? It wasn't like him and I already said that. He might… heck, he could've done already. But something inside made me believe that he was okay.

"Let's go," I said as I met up with Stella and Kevin again.

Joe's POV

I pulled my jacket tight over me, hating the cold weather. I hated being here but I knew that it would be the only place no one would look for me. I had to talk to Bea, I had to tell her everything on my mind before I disappeared for good. I couldn't handle this pressure. I felt like a coward… a coward that was saving his Bea from any more pain.

"You can't do this," I said to myself. I shook my head disappointingly, looking back at that bar full of dumb-asses. I saw Brian there. God, if I could I would snap every bone in his body. He only deserved it. But I was only there for that one phone call. I've been spending my whole time outside, freezing to death. I would stand in the doorway of the bar every once in a while. But that was as far as I would into that place.

"Joe," someone called. I turned around from where I was facing and saw Macy, Stella, and my brother. I kept my eyes on Kevin; I haven't seen him in months.

"Kevin?" I called. He nodded to clarify. I bolted to him throwing a brothering hug around him, "God, I missed you."

"Same here," he said, "Joe, would care to explain to me why the hell you're here?" I pulled away and looked at Stella. She was a complete and utter mess. Her eyes were red around the edges, like she had scrubbed them with steel wool. She was freezing to death, more than me. She wouldn't look at me though. She kept her eyes on the ground.

"Guys," I said, "Can you give us a second to talk?" Macy nodded, taking Kevin's arm to walk down the pier. Stella stood there with shaking hands. I reached for them, trying to get them warm, "C'mon." I led her towards a bench, sitting her down. I sat next to her awkwardly but was desperately wanted to keep her from shaking.

"I know," she stuttered, "You hate me… but… I didn't want to hurt you… I just didn't think it through."

"Stell," I scoffed, "I could never hate you." She looked at me now. Her eyes looked even worse under a street lamp. I put my hands on her face, rubbing my thumbs underneath her eyes which she had shut, like she was sleeping peacefully, "I don't think you thought it through… but I couldn't hate you. I reacted poorly. I should've… I should've just stayed and acted rational."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. I couldn't stand this distance. I reached for her and pulled her closer to me, letting her cry all she wanted. I kissed the top of her head, "Do you still love her?"

"Yes," I said after a long pause.

"I'm glad for that, Joe," she said, "And… that's why I'm hoping she will chose you. You make her happy. She came all the way here for you when she belongs in the hospital."

"What?" I asked looking at her.

"Um, sorry," she laughed, "Forgot you weren't there. Uh, Bea had some sort of spontaneous freak out. Nick's going to take her to her doctor."

"Oh, no," I said, "What kind of random freak out?"

"She sort of stared off into space. None of us could snap her out of it," she explained, "But she eventually did. Now she seems to be in pain." I wanted to get up and zoom for the van, which was on top of the hill before the pier. I could see it now. But I just sat there with Stella in my arms.

"Stella," I said, "What if I went with you?"

"Joe," she said, "You can't… you'd miss it here too much. I can't take everything away from you."

"Why not?" I asked, "I mean… I want to go with you."

"Not as much as wanting to stay with Bea," she said,

"But Bea has Nick," I said, "If she chose him… I wouldn't be able to live there." I know I had said I would always be Bea's best friend. But it would take me a while to get over it, potentially causing me to avoid them.

"Joe… I would stay for you," she said, "I mean… I could figure it out."

"I can't take this opportunity away from you," I argued.

"Maybe we should just give this some time," she said, "We have until summer. If things change… our decisions will." I looked at her and for the first time in a long time, I didn't force a smile. It just came, "It's not too late to fix this, is it?"

"Not at all," I said.

Bea's POV

"Nick," I shivered, "I-I don't know what happened." Nick and pulled me farther in the van, wrapping a throw blanket around me. I didn't even know I kept one back here. But I was thinking about what just happened.

It was so vivid, so realistic; I literally thought it had happened. I remember saying the words, doing the actions, the pain when I had supposedly tackled Joe to the floor. Something bad was happening to me.

"Bea," he said, "You didn't take you meds did you?"

"No," I gasped. Nick had moved a strand of hair out of my face, his unnaturally warm hands on my face.

"I think that's why," he said, "It's still weird so I'm going to take you to the hospital after this.

"No," I protested, "No, don't. I'm okay. I just… I thought I saw things…"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Guys," Macy said running back to us, "Stella and Joe are talking. They seem to be wrapping things up."

"You mean," I said hopefully, "He's okay?"

"Yeah," Macy said, "He's okay."

"Bea," I heard someone call. I saw about three people running to the van but I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But when they got closer, I found out they were all individuals.

"Bea," Joe said walking towards me, "Bea, what happened."

"I'm fine," I snapped. Joe didn't listen to me.

"I'm going to take her to the hospital," Nick said.

"I'll take these guys home," Joe said.

"You can go home too," I glared at Joe. He had a lot of explaining to do. He scared me to death… drunk or not.

"Alright, alright," Joe laughed, "I'll go home too." He looked at Nick for a split second then lead Macy, Stella, and Kevin to where he was keeping his car. Nick already had the keys in his hand.

"Do you think you can get to the passenger's?" he asked. I nodded and urged myself to stand. But it felt like guts were going to poor out. They felt almost loose. I shook my head, "Okay. Lay back."

"What?" I asked. He had hopped in the back of the van, pulling me gently in too. He reached over me to shut the back door. He took off his jacket and put it under my head. Through all of this coming out very blurry in my vision, I reached for his face, feeling the warmth and realism of it. He was real. What I saw wasn't. I had to except it in a short amount of time if I didn't want to be sent to the wacky shack.

"I'll get you there soon," he said, "Just hang in there."

**Again, I know it's shorter (I think). But did you get it? If you didn't the next chapter will definitely explain it a whole lot better. I'm so glad it worked. I thought you might say that it was a dream or something. But that advice was still really helpful in case I unintentionally slip on the characters qualities and morals. Anyway, I hope this turned that around a little bit. **


	21. Chapter 21

**I forgot to mention the driver's license issue… hmmm, for now I just want to say that he doesn't have one and he gets away with it or Florence bent the rules for him. I don't know… I'm going to have to think about it more. It might come up in later chapters. I didn't know that so thanks for telling me! **

Bea's POV

"The doctor will see you now," a nurse had said. We were in the waiting room for four hours. My father was probably having a heart attack. Hopefully someone told him what happened and he would be coming or even a bit calmer. Nick was sitting with me, trying to calm me down as I explained all the details.

The fact that everything seemed so real made me scared. It made me think that I couldn't tell reality from a daydream. It's like waking up from a dream when you didn't think you were asleep. It's terrifying and shocking.

Nick came with me to the doctor. It wasn't a private room or anything but there were no patients filling up the beds. It was just Nick, the doctor, and me. "Hello, Bea," he said, "Have a seat." I sat upright on one of the beds as he stood across from me. He picked up a clipboard with a file on it. I had to assume it was mine from the last incident, "So, I see we've had a little mishap. Care to tell me what happened?"

"Um, I was driving with my friends," I began, "We were going to pick up someone. When I turned off the car, I think I had like… a really vivid dream. I thought it was all real until someone shook me out of it." The doctor was scrutinizing me then writing things down on the clipboard.

"And you didn't take any medication beforehand?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"How are you feeling now?" he asked.

"I'm okay," I replied, "Just a little uh, shaken up." The doctor had taken out a small light, pointing at my eyes; like in those TV shows or movies.

"Well, Bea," he said, "The pain killers you were prescribed are much stronger than the average dose. Your loss of blood and the deep wounds made it come in handy. But when you stopped taking them, you began to experience withdrawl symptoms."

"So what I saw… was just because I didn't take my medicine?"

"Yes," he said, "Withdrawl can consist of hallucinations, pain, and much worse. I'm glad you came to see me about it though. If it kept going, you might've understood how worse I'm talking."

"So what happens now?" I asked, "I mean, once I've stopped taking it… will that happen again?"

"I don't believe so," he said, "Since your body is still very weak it tends to rely on the drug you're taking. Once it's up to normal strength I think you'll be just fine."

"Thank you so much," I said, "I'm sorry for being so careless."  
"It's quite fine," he said, "I suggest you stop driving for a bit and get some bed rest." I nodded in approval when I was really screaming inside. Another week in bed… yay.

"Bea!" someone barged through the door. It was my father, "Thank goodness you're alright!" He threw his arms around me, nearly knocking the doctor over. He just laughed.

"I'll give you some time, if you have any questions you know where to find me," he said. With that, he left the room. My dad looked at me in awe.

"Where were you, Bea?" he asked, "I came home and saw your friends waiting on the porch."

"We went to get Joe," I admitted, "He sort of… ran away." My dad sighed tiredly and sat next to me. I held my breath; I hated my dad when he got mad. It never suited him.

"Bea," he said, "I raised you to care for other people… to help the people you love. You offer them everything."

"So you're not mad?" I asked.

"Well you sometimes give them too much," he answered, "And when you do, you forget that you also need to care for yourself. You're getting so risky… I know it's because you care about your friends. But I just can't have you scaring me like this all the time. You make me want to put you in an air-sealed bubble." I put my arms around my dad to stop this rant, hugging him warmly. He hugged back.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I'll do anything you say, Dad. I'll stay in bed for a year if you want me too. I will never scare you again."

"Hmph," he said, "That was easy. I'm glad we're on the same page." I smiled and nodded, pulling away. At that point, I didn't realize that Nick was there. He was sitting quietly in a chair, staring at the floor like he wasn't even with us. My dad stood up and walked in front of him, "Thank you for taking care of her… again."

"You're welcome," Nick said, crookedly smiling just a little bit. Although I haven't told my dad everything about Nick and Joe, I knew he would ask me about Nick later. My dad knew he cared about me in a very close way. My dad was about to leave when Nick stood up, "Sir, may I drive Bea home?"

"Of course," he said without thinking about it, "I forgot file work at the station anyway. Thanks for the help." Nick acknowledged him with a nod, which was always enough for my dad. When he left Nick turned to me.

"You are not leaving my sight," he said, "Ever."

"Nick, I shouldn't have dragged you here," I said, "I'm irresponsible."

"You are," he nodded, "But… you're dad had an excellent point. Just balance your care a little bit better, and you won't have hallucinations of Joe about to beat Stella." I nodded and reached for him. He walked forward. He whispered, "We should get going."

"Mhmm," I said putting my hand on his face. Nick and I had left the hospital in silence. Once we were on the road I had fallen asleep. I thought about why my dad didn't ask why Joe ran away. Maybe it didn't cross his mind; maybe it did, but he didn't even want to ask.

"Bea," Nick said. My eyes opened to see him laying me in my bed. He was smiling crookedly at me as I grinned.

"You carried me up here?" I yawned.

"Yeah," he blushed, "I um, just wanted to say goodnight."

"Wait," I said, "You don't have to leave." Nick smiled and caressed my face gently, hoping I would fall back asleep I assume.

"Bea," he said, "I promise… I'll be here before you wake up."

"You promise?" I yawned. He nodded.

"Goodnight, Bea," he said. I nodded, my eyes beginning to shut on me. I saw Nick walk out of my room and eventually heard the front door shut. I could really rely on him to take care of me whether I wanted him to or not.

I couldn't go back to sleep yet. I still have to take those meds. Those will have me asleep until noon though. Ah, I guess I have to listen to the guy with medical experience. I'm just going to have to deal with it. I sighed and pulled myself out of bed, shuffling my feet to my closet. I kept them in my purse which I had left in here this morning. So all in all, I didn't really take anything today. I didn't even know that. I began to feel incapable to managing things like stupid pills.

As I switched on the light, something didn't fit. My eyes had to adjust to the light. But as soon as I figured out what was out of place, I didn't have to worry about being awake.

"Bea," Joe said, "Just let me explain."

"What in the hell are you doing here!" I yelled. I turned around about to walk out of my room when Joe laughed, wrapping his big muscular arms around me to lift me up, "Let go of me, Joe."

"Bea," he said, "You won't fight me."

"Oh, yeah?" I challenged, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because," he said, "You are way too weak, you are falling asleep as I am telling you this, and I'm too strong for you."

"You need to explain why you are hiding in my closet," I snapped. He couldn't help but chuckle and laid me back down in my bed. I had my pills clutched tightly in my hand. I turned my head away, not even wanting to see his face. I might've been reacting more to my hallucination. He still had some questions to answer though.

"I was waiting for Nick to leave," he said, "So we could talk."

"What if I don't care what you have to say?" I said. He was smiling, turning my head with his hand to look at him. He seemed completely normal.

"What in the world has happened to you?" he asked, "You look so tired… pale."

"Yeah," I said, "Maybe if you were here for the last two days you would know why."

"I know why," he said, "You're an irresponsible twit who can't remember to take her meds." I glared at him hotly, "Well, am I wrong?"

"No," I said, "But you're in no position to talk. You had me worried sick. I thought you were…"

"What?" he asked. He stared at me for a moment, "Drunk?"

"No," I said, "I mean… maybe."

"Bea," he laughed, "I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a drinker."

"I heard Brian on the phone," I murmured.

"He was taunting me," Joe said, "He just happened to be around when I walked in to make a call."

"So… you didn't stay there?" I asked.

"No," he replied obviously entertained, "But I can see it's been bugging you."

"You are just loving this aren't you?" I asked. He nodded, his glasses gleaming. I shook my head, becoming mellower, "So you and Stella talked?"

"Yes," he said, "We're going to see what happens." It was a simple sentence but it gave me too many thoughts. What did that mean? Did he not love her? Vice versa? Was it to see who I chose? Gosh, this should be one big mess. It just shouldn't. He saw my worry and put his hand on my shoulder, "You have nothing to worry about."

"Yes I do," I whispered, "Joe, Stella… she can provide so much more for you than I can. I mean, I'm torn between you and someone else. That should bother you."

"Stella can provide a lot," he agreed, "She directed me towards you… maybe not for the right reason but it still happened. And… it doesn't. I know that no matter what happens, you'll be with someone who will take care of you… since you fail at doing it yourself."

"Sarcasm not needed," I laughed lightly, "I don't… I'm just afraid that if she's gone and I don't pick you… you'll be sad. I don't want that to happen."

"Bea, I'm going to be just fine," he said, "You need to focus on what's best for you." He looked at the clock and sighed, "I should get home. My mom's probably worried sick."

"Okay," I sighed. Joe was staring at me funny, "What?"

"Nothing," he said, "Get some sleep." I nodded. I didn't realize that he had started to lean in to me. I looked at his lips. Oh, wow. Joe pressed his lips too mine in the sweetest way. I put my hand on the back of his neck. When he pulled away, I felt like I had run a marathon.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said, "I figured you've kissed Nick."

"Goodnight," I whispered, looking up at him to smile. He moved that same damn strand of hair out of my face and walked out.

Now to the medicine.

**I know it was all Bea's POV, but it felt like it needed to happen just to get things cleared up better.**


	22. Chapter 22

Macy's POV

We dropped Joe off at Bea's house. Everything was cleared up with the rest of us, except for Bea. He had to talk to her and soon before she was prescribed bed rest for the remainder of her days. Stella had asked me to stay over at her house. I accepted but promised to drop Kevin off at home. I was stealing Joe's car so he could stop by and get it. I was hoping he would want to stay with Stella instead of me. It felt like it was necessary after all of this tension.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," I said to Stella. She nodded and went for her house quickly, trying to stay warm. As I backed out of Stella's driveway I noticed Kevin's ominous expression.

"Alright," I said slamming the break, "Spit it out."

"What?" he asked.

"You know what," I said, "Something has been bothering you ever since you've gotten here."

"Just drive," he laughed. I did as he said, hoping he would explain everything to me, "I can't say anything."

"Why?" I asked.

"You have to believe me when I say I want to tell you," he said, "But… I don't know how and I don't think I'm allowed to yet."

"Is this something with Joe?" I asked nervously.

"N-no," he said, "Joe doesn't know a thing. It's more me, Macy."

"Will I ever figure it out?" I asked, "Because it only seems like Nick is putting you on the edge. Do you know him?"

"No," he said, "I don't know him."

"Then, Kevin," I scoffed aggravated, "What the hell is going on?" I pulled up in his driveway.

"I know you're mad now," he said, "But just think about it… think about it really hard."

"Kevin," I said. But he already gave me a half hug and got out of the car. I didn't understand any of this. I think… that the only way to figure out anything was to just do as he told me. I would have to think about it.

Or I could ask Nick. I don't know.

Joe's POV

I knocked on Stella's front door after walking for a half hour. All of our houses (Stella, Macy, and I) are relatively close together. Bea is a whole subdivision over. I believe before I approached Stella's house I was moving into the state of hypothermia. I wouldn't have made it home even if I wanted to.

I know I kissed Bea then went to Stella to probably be with her all night. I was a mess when it came to the girl I wanted to be with. Stella had opened the door tiredly. When she saw me, she smiled, "Hey," she said.

"Hi," I whispered. Stella pulled me in the house after noticing my compulsive shivering. She shut the door quietly. I turned around to see Macy had passed out on the couch. I laughed.

"I should've come to get you," Stella sighed, "But I fell asleep and… gosh, you must be freezing."

"No, no," I said, "It's fine. Everything's fine." I felt the need to give Stella a hug. She tightly squeezed me, possibly planning on falling asleep right there, "You need to get to bed, Stell."

After I had helped Stella upstairs, I tucked her in her bed. She didn't protest, knowing she didn't like being taken care of. But I think I scared her enough that I owed her something, "Joe," she whispered.

"Hmm," I said. I met eyes with her to see tears in her eyes. I put my hand on her face, "What's wrong?"

"Can you just stay with me," she said, "Please…" I looked at Stella; I mean, really looked at her. For as long as I've been friends with Stella, I always admired her for how tough and smart she was. She knew how to take care of herself and live on her own. She made herself powerful. But now, looking at her this way, she never wanted it at all. She needs someone to love her, she needs someone to take care of her. While I looked at her, I had come to the realization that it needed to be me; I was the one who had to take care of her.

"Yeah," I said, "Of course I'll stay with you." I had climbed into Stella's bed, pulling her closer to me.

"Joe," she said again just as quiet.

"Yes?" I asked resting my chin on her shoulder.

"I can't do this," she said, "I can't go alone…"

"What?" I asked, "Stella this is a huge opportunity."

"I know," she said, "But… I think I'm tired of being alone all of the time." I adjusted myself so I could kiss her cheek, moving to her ear.

"You will never be alone," I said, "Not anymore." She looked up at me and smiled a bit.

Nick's POV

I walked to Bea's house around 10. I knew she would probably still be asleep but she was all alone. I knew her dad would be gone in the morning. Our town has only one sheriff and he was it. Everyone relied on him to do things they're afraid to. It's not because he's a cop; it's because he's a good man.

Bea's door was unlocked, a post-it note on the door. It said "1) Meds, 2)Don't let her leave the house 3) Thank you." I smiled. I knew it was from Bea's dad. He felt pretty bad for not being home but I didn't mind. I loved spending time with Bea.

I walked up stairs and peeked in her room. Luckily she was still asleep so I could honestly say I kept my promise. I told her I would be here when she woke up. I smiled at her serene figure, her peaceful face. She should be like that all the time; not asleep, carefree. I noticed she had begun to stir so I went and sat by her. I watched her eyes flutter open. When she saw me she smiled, "You weren't lying."

"Of course not," I said touching her face, "How are you doing?"

"Better," she said sitting up. I felt the need to help her but she seemed to be doing okay, "Is my dad gone?"

"Yeah," I replied, "He, uh, left me a list."

"A list," she repeated, "Of what?"

"Well, it's more like rules," he said, "For you."

"Oh, boy," she sighed, "What are they?"

"Well," I said, "You have to take all of your meds, you can't leave the house, and you have to thank me." The last one was completely sarcastic but she didn't seem to notice.

"Okay," she said, "Chronologically this will take a bout five minutes."

"You can't leave the house," I said, "I totally agree with that."

"Hmm," she replied, "So you're here with me."

"All day," I smiled, "If you want me to." She nodded waved me over. I went close enough for her to reach for my hand. Before she would say anything, the doorbell rang. I looked behind me then back at Bea. She was staring past me.

"I'll be right back," she said. She stood up and went for the stairs. Surprisingly, she was fine. She could've run if she wanted to. But that was probably just because she got sleep.

I stayed where I was because I knew who was at the door. It was private.

Bea's POV

"Joe," I said, "What are you doing here?" After I took my medicine and went to sleep, everything last night just came out in a blur today. I didn't really remember much except for being at the hospital and Joe kissing me after Nick left, saying he would be here when I woke up. Nick would probably have to run it by me again.

"I came here to talk," he said, "I um, I just want to tell you a few things."

"Okay," I said. I stepped outside, "Nick's here and he's probably… he doesn't want me out of the house so make it fast." I wasn't mad at Joe anymore. But for some reason, as I looked at him, he didn't seem the same. I knew last night's kiss was just out of curiosity.

"Last night," he said, "I went to Stella's and… something happened. I think we reached a higher ground." I was confused but he kept going, hopefully to clear this up, "She seemed… different, like she needed someone to be with her." I think I got that. I mean, Stella was always the one who had the most common sense. She simply used it to her advantage, "I think that person is me." My heart had begun to race frantically. I knew where this was going.

"You mean," I said, "It's settled?" He nodded. I stared at him for a minute then threw my arms around him. It hurt, but it was the good kind of hurt, "Thank you."

"Thank you," he said, "I love you, Bea."

"I love you too, Joe," I said. He kissed my forehead then backed up.

"I should get back," I said, "Macy and Stella are still out. I should go make sure they're still alive."

"Good," I said, "Good… I'll um, see you guys soon?"

"Yeah," he said, "We should all hang out here."

"Sounds good," I said, feeling overwhelmed. It was all normal again. It was just a matter of a day for it to happen too. It was like magic, something you only read in books or see on those cheesy _Lifetime_ romances. I wouldn't have to metaphorically kill myself over this decision because there was no decision anymore. As I watched Joe leave, I realized that I could be with Nick. I would kiss him, I could hold him, and I could make him do things for me. He could be mine now. All in all, I felt like dancing down the street.

Instead I went in the house, shutting the door quietly. He would be upstairs. I went up to my room to see him holding my mom's picture. I didn't even care. When he saw me he put the picture down, "Sorry," he shrugged. I stared at him, smiling, "What's wrong?" He had no idea; none. I quickly walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He looked down at me surprised until I kissed him ferociously. Too distracted to ask why, he kissed me back. I knotted my fingers through his hair as he pulled me on his feet, our bodies pressed together. Not even air separated us.

"What the hell," he laughed.

"That was Joe," I said, "The decision is made."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"It's a long story," I explained, "But he's with Stella. Last night, they just… I don't know what it was. They just knew they couldn't be apart." They finally figured it out. Maybe that's what this was all about. I had mentioned before that Stella loved Joe and Joe loved Stella. They just didn't know it yet. Maybe this all happened for a reason. I wasn't a big believer on fate. But what if it was? It was positive rather than negative. Well that's what I get for only thinking about myself. I shook that though off.

"So…" he chuckled, "I'm…"

"Yeah," I smiled. His face was the happiest I've ever seen so far. He kissed me again. This distance would be gone now. It could just be me and him all the time, everyday.

Stella's POV

I woke up in bed alone. I looked around my room, but there was no Joe. I think it was time for us to take it to the next level but I think he still loved Bea. I put us in the pickle so I was willing to wait it out. I had to approach the mature way. I admitted my mistakes now I had to take the consequences. It would be a long time until Joe and I could start a relationship.

I sighed and rolled out of bed. It was a really long night. I would probably have to shake Macy awake. Good thing it was a Saturday. I reached for Bea's hoodie and pulled it over my head. It was so warm that I couldn't resist. I would give it back soon though. I didn't realize I had slept in sweats and a t-shirt. I would not be caught dead in this. I was a mess. But it was just Macy downstairs… just Macy.

Gosh, now I was just getting cranky about the consequences. I didn't like them at all. I just wanted to go back to bed, go back with Joe. I loved the way he put his arms around me. But I couldn't think about it and beat myself up any more. If I did, I would become a super bitch to Joe and Bea.

I made myself walk downstairs to pour some coffee. I never liked it, but I made myself drink it. With lots of homework and college stuff, I had to wolf it down if I wanted to stay awake during the day. So I guess, you could say I've programmed myself to become addicted to something I hate.

As I passed the sleeping Macy and entered my kitchen I noticed the back door was unlocked. I always locked it. I shrugged, probably forgot. I looked for my mug but it was gone. In fact, the half of the coffee pot was empty.

"Hey," I turned around to see Joe standing by my island counter. He was holding my mug of coffee, "I made you your coffee." I smiled and walked forward, taking the cup.

"Thanks," I said, taking a grateful and disgusted gulp. Joe laughed at me but gripped the counter tightly.

"I went to Bea's," he said, "And told her… that I had decided." I nodded. Let the penalty begin. He walked forward and put my coffee down. I felt his fingertips sliding over my waist.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to kiss you," he said.

"W-what?" I said, "I thought you-"

"Bea is happy, Stella," he said, "That's all I want for her. Now that she has it, I can finally see that I love you." I shook my head, stupid melodramatic tears forming in my eyes. I was about to say something, "No, no, no. I mean… Stell, it's always been you. I was just… too stupid to see it."

"Joe," I said, "I don't want you to give up things for me. I want to give up things for you."

"If you go, I go," he said, "If you stay, I stay. It's that easy. Don't you see? This whole problem was self-created by all of us. We tend to over-think."

"That's why we're friends," I laughed.

"Yeah," he said. He leaned in and kissed me, taking that horrible taste of coffee from my mouth.

"Hellllloooo," Macy laughed. I pulled away from Joe but still looked up at him. He smiled down at me then we both looked at Macy. She was wiggling her eyebrows, drinking from my mug.

"Good morning," I said.

"Yes," she joked, "_Very_ good morning."

Macy's POV

Joe and Stella decided to go out for a little bit, just to talk. I insisted to Stella that I tidy up her house. She protested but I wouldn't hear anything of it. Joe had to basically drag her out of the house.

The silence was nice. It would give me time to think about the other things. Things like what Kevin told me to think about. Last night I was trying to but I was too tired. I went up to Stella's room and made her bed.

So Kevin didn't like Nick? Was that it? There had to be a reason why though. He didn't like Nick… he didn't like the way Nick acted? He didn't spend that much time with him though. I mean, he just met him.

So maybe he didn't like him because… he's done something? What has Nick done but love Bea?

"Oh, god!" I yelled. I grabbed my jacket and ran for the door.  
I knew what was bothering him. This one conflict with Joe was just the beginning. It was just the beginning.


	23. Chapter 23

**I'm really glad you liked the last chapter! I sort of thought it was too fast for Joe and Stella's thought process but I agree that they were totally blinded. Anyway, I really want to know what your far-fetched idea was about Kevin and Nick. It might be right. **

Nick's POV

"What are you thinking?" Bea asked me. After she forced pills down her throat she had decided to do dishes. If Bea ever asked me that before, I wouldn't be able to answer right away. Right now I could. I was thinking that she was mine. Her smile, her hands, her entire being… mine. As she washed dishes I had my hands blocking both sides of her, resting my chin on her shoulder to just watch her.

"I'm thinking about you," I said, "Me… I just can't believe its really happening." I kissed her shoulder tenderly. She laughed, drying her hands and turning around. She ran her hands on my face.

"I would be too," she said, "But I'm too busy thinking about how I can escape from this house."

"You know you can't," I said, "I have to keep you here for you and your dad."

"Yeah," she agreed, "I know."

"We can do something," I said, "Anything. It doesn't matter to me." I kissed her cheek, "We could call Macy and Stella… Joe."

"I don't know," she said, "I think I just want to spend some time with you."

"We have a lot of time," I laughed, "Are you sure you don't want to call them?"

"I guess I could call Stella's. I'm pretty sure that's where they all crashed," she said. Put her hands on my shoulders, "But later. I want to spend time with you alone." Don't think the wrong way. Bea and I would still take it at a normal pace. It wasn't anything like that. But do you know how long I had to hold myself back?

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," I said, "Have I ever told you that?"

"Yeah," Bea smiled, "You have." I kissed her gently and pulled her away from the sink, "What's up?"

"Can you do something for me?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, "Anything."

"Read to me," I smiled. She looked up at me in curiosity. She smiled and tilted her head to the side.

"Really," she said, "Why?"

"I don't know," I said, "I mean, you read all of time. I've watched you. I just… I want to _hear_ you read."

"Okay," she said, "What do you want me to read?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, "You decide." I let Bea lead me up the stairs and back into her room. For some reason, I couldn't find a more perfect thing to do on a day like this. We were finally together and we weren't making out like others might. She was reading to me. Being all of the places I've been, I've never really read a real book before. Maybe when I was younger I read a book but I can't possibly remember. All I know is that I know _how_ to read.

When we were in Bea's room, she went in her closet. She went pretty far back so I didn't see her, "Found it," I heard her dimly say. That followed a loud thud of paperbacks fall on her, "Shit!" I broke down laughing, holding on to the door for support. She came out of her dark closet holding her head.

"Are you okay?" I said through my laughter.

"Oh, I see," she said, "Laughing at me?" I nodded. She rolled her eyes but smiled brightly. I reached for her face and kissed her head.

"Is that better?" I asked. She nodded and kissed my lips.

"This one is my favorite," she smiled, "I've read it so many times I've basically memorized it."

"Great," I said happily. She pulled me in her bed so I could wrap my arms around her. She opened the book and began reading. It was like music. I swear I'm not exaggerating. It was like she was singing without actually doing so. She didn't mess up once. She sounded so smooth, so light. I had almost forgotten about the story.

"Are you sure you want me to keep going?" she asked after the tenth chapter.

"Yes," I said truly and a little too fast, "I love hearing you this way." She was almost done anyway. She nodded and continued softly until I had begun to doze off.

Macy's POV

"Macy?" Kevin said opening the door. I glared at him through my eyelashes as he towered over me at his front door.

"We need to speak in private," I said sharply.

"By all means," he said politely. He gestured me to enter. Trying not to act like he effected me with every move he made, I stormed passed him. He followed; shutting the door like it was any normal day. His parents didn't seem to be around, "Macy-"

"You love Bea!" I said. He stared at me like I was insane, "That is why you don't like Nick! You love Bea, just like Joe did." Kevin still stared at me the same. Then he burst out laughing, "Kevin! This is not funny."

"Y-yes it is!" he bellowed still laughing, "Ah, Macy you're a card."

"I am not!" I yelled, "Is this just some joke to you? Because yesterday you were pretty serious about it."

"No, Mace," he said containing himself, "You're way off track."

"Y-you mean you don't love Bea?" I asked.

"Not in that way, no," he said, "She is more like a sister figure."

"Oh," I said feeling a little bad. I had barged into his house and accused him of loving my best friend. Wow… way to go, Macy.

"Macy, it's okay," he said noticing my deep-thinking, "It was my fault. Last night…" he sighed, "It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have got you thinking."

"Why not?" I asked a tad hurt by that.

"Because I knew you'd think of something as ridiculous as that," he smiled.

"So," I said, "Are you going to tell me." He shook his head. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "I just don't understand why you can't tell me."

"I know," he said, "You're confused and freaked out. Just give me some time, Macy. Who knows, maybe you'll actually figure it out."

"Macy," Kevin's mom, Sandy said walking through the door. Her husband, Tom, had followed casually. I took one last look at Kevin then put on a fake smile.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Lucas," I said, "I'm sorry to intrude. I was actually just leaving."

"Oh, nonsense," Sandy said, "You could never intrude." But I was… I really was. I didn't feel like I was familiar with the house, the people in it. It was all because of this one… stupid thought.

But it couldn't possibly be true. It just wouldn't be true.

Bea's POV

Nick had fallen asleep. I actually may have been trying to get him to for a little bit. He was probably really tired from having me around so much. He wasn't use to that. I didn't mind if he slept for a little while. To give him so quiet, I went downstairs and returned to the dishes I never finished.

You know in some movies when someone is in the woods or alone at their house and they say "It's quiet… too quiet." Then something/someone pops out at them? That's exactly what I was feeling. I felt like someone was there. I turned around but saw nobody.

"Nick?" I called. I waited for a minute but there was no answer. I reached for a kitchen towel and dried my hands. I walked forward a little, leaning over so I could look up the stairs. My door was shut. It was starting to get dark. Reading to Nick had taken a lot of time out of the day, I completely forgot about my hatred towards house arrest.

But something was still wrong. I looked over my shoulder a little bit and saw a small shadow, getting bigger as it moved towards me. Noticing that I saw them, the figure moved faster. I was about to run forward when they closed their arms around me.

"N-" a hand had clapped over my mouth and whoever has broken into my house pulled me back in the kitchen. I tried to scream for Nick.

"Ssh, Bea." I knew that voice. It was on the tip of my tongue. Kevin? "Don't wake him up. We need to talk." I tried to jerk away. Why the hell was he here? How did he get in so quietly? God, what is wrong with the Lucas brothers and their ridiculous need to hide in various parts of my house? "Okay," Kevin said, "I'm going to let go of your mouth. Just don't scream. I just want to talk."

"Kevin," I said when he released me. I pushed him away, "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," he said, "About something really important."

"And knocking wasn't a good idea because?" I asked.

"Look," he said, "I knew Nick was here with you and he really shouldn't hear this."

"Kevin," I said, "What is going on? I knew Nick bugged you but… why?"

"Please," he said, "Just sit down." I stared at my kitchen table. I didn't like sitting in it as much I used to. I guess it just brought back things I wanted to forget. But all the less, I sat down across from Kevin.

"When I was very, very young," he said, "Joe was just one, our family was very poor. You weren't born but I'm sure Joe told you." I nodded. I remember that's how I met Joe. I was about four years old and my father had offered to let them stay with us because they were kicked out of their old house. So I guess I can honestly say I've known the Lucas' for as long as I could remember, which was not age four.

"Kevin, what about it?" I asked, "I just want to know why you hate Nick."

"Bea," he said, sort of smiling, "I don't hate Nick… it's the exact opposite."

"What?" I asked.

Joe's POV

"Gosh, Bea," I said, "Are you dead or something?" I had tried to call her tons of times but she refused to answer. I was sitting at Stella's again with Macy staring angrily at the wall. I looked at Macy before dialing Bea's number again, "What's the matter?"

"I'm pissed at your brother," Macy said.

"Again?" I laughed, "Why?"

"Because he won't tell me why he hates Nick," she said, "He acts all weird around him."

"Really?" I asked, "I never noticed."

"You weren't there to," Macy said, "But when he first met him, he nearly broke my spine in half."

"I don't think Kevin's ever met Nick," I said, "Maybe he was just thinking about something else."

"Doubt it," she said, "He told me last night and today that he wants to tell me things… but he can't."

"Hmph," I said, "Maybe I could get something out of him… anything."

"Good luck," Macy sneered at the thought. Stella sat silently. I looked at her and she raised her hands.

"I have no idea," she said, "I just saw his weird reaction. That's all."

"Okay," I shrugged. My phone had beeped. I stood up to answer it, "Hello?"

"Joe," it was my mother. After our private reunion today, after I saw Bea, she was cheery and quite happy. For some reason, she wasn't mad at all. But as she spoke on the phone I knew something was terribly wrong.

"Mom," I said, "Mom, what's wrong?"

"I need you to come home," he said, "You're father and I have something to tell you."

Bea's POV

"Kevin, if you have something to say then you need to say it," I said. I was starting to get seriously freaked out. Kevin was avoiding my question right when I was starting to get to him.

"You don't know how hard this is to say to someone," he said, "It's been a secret my entire life. It would've stayed that way if… if you just stayed away from him."

"That's it," I said standing up, "I'm going to get him."

"Wait," Kevin said taking my hand, "Please… just… sit down. I promise I'll tell you, Bea." I sat back down and crossed my arms. I felt so weird this way around Kevin. He never did this. I felt as though I was a captive audience, like I really didn't want to know what he was going to tell me.

"Bea," he said, "Nick Bardwell… is actually Nick Lucas. He's my brother."


	24. Chapter 24

**I'm sorry it's taken me longer than usual. I'm all over the place right now. But you won't be disappointed. Thank you for your patience!**

Joe's POV

"Mom," I called walking in the house. On the way home all of these different scenarios filled my head. I thought someone was hurt… dead. I didn't know. Maybe I was getting myself worked up over nothing. But then again, maybe I wasn't.

"Here," she called. I turned a corner and saw her sitting on the couch with my dad. He had his arms around her. She was crying. I felt bad for my mom. I put her through hell thinking I was lying in a ditch somewhere… what else could be bothering her?

I walked across from them. My dad pointed at the chair behind me. I slowly sat down, staring at them nervously, "Guys what's going on?" I asked.

"We need to discuss a few things," my dad said, "You're not going to like it, Joe. I understand if you are upset with us after this. But any questions you have, we'll answer."

"You're seriously scaring me," I said, "Where's Kevin?"

"He's at Bea's," Dad said, "He… is talking to Bea."

"Did something happen?" I asked nervously, "Her dad? Did Mary get out of prison?" I was surprised that last one came out. I wasn't even thinking about that until I asked about her dad.

"No," Dad said, "No, nothing like that… it's about… Nick."

"You know Nick?" I asked, "How is that possible?" I looked at my parents worried and puzzled. But they wouldn't respond. I felt like I had to figure it out on my own.

Then it clicked.

He was an orphan… no parents… rumor says they weren't dead… given up at birth… Kevin acts weird around him…

"No," I gasped. I tried to make eye contact with either of them… but they were ashamed that they couldn't even say it, "Mom… Dad?"

"Nick is your brother, Joe," Mom cried, "I'm so sorry we didn't tell you." I slowly stood up. I felt like running out the door but stopped myself, knowing what that got me into last time. Instead, I paced the room, trying to wake up from this crazy nightmare. Nick was my brother.

_My_ brother.

"I don't get it," I said.

"You were only about a year old," Dad explained, "We had no money and your mom had Nick. We couldn't afford another child."

"And Kevin knew?" I asked, hurt, "Kevin knew but you didn't tell me?"

"Honey," my mom said, trying not to cry uncontrollably, "We're sorry. We knew you'd be around him in some way. We just… we didn't want to have you go to school and see him through that perspective."

"So what?" I asked a bit angry now, "He was a mistake child?" My parents didn't answer, "Do you honestly think he'll forgive you for this? He grew up being beaten and hurt… things were becoming good for him and now you're about to take it from him." It was harsh… but true.

"You won't say anything," my father said firmly, "Kevin will send that message to Bea." My face became hot.

"I'm going," I said walking for the door. My dad stood up while my mom just cried.

"Where?" he called angrily, knowing that I wouldn't listen to him no matter what he said.

"Bea's," I said, "She's probably about to die right now. I hope you two are happy. You've ruined about three lives."

I slammed the door after that.

Bea's POV

"What did you just say?" I said. I sat there for a long time, just staring at the wall. I know that I'd always remember that spot on the wall now. As Kevin told me this, I was just staring at it. Looking back at that spot would trigger a flashback of this exact moment in time. I thought I was hallucinating like before. This was an out-of-body experience… just like before. This time though, I had a feeling this was 100% real.

"Nick is-"

"Don't," I interrupted. I rubbed my temples; things were starting to turn for the better. But this was about to set off so many other things, "What do we do?"

"Bea," he sighed, "You can't say anything."

"The hell I'm not," I snapped. I stood up and paced back and forth, "How could you keep this inside for all this time."

"Well what was I going to say," he scoffed, "Just come clean when I laid eyes on him? Do you know what's going to happen to my brother, Bea? My real brother."

"He is your real brother," I glared. He ignored me, "How does Joe not know?"

"He was too young to remember," He explained, "We were too poor, Bea. He wouldn't have been able to live here. We were planning on taking him back when we could manage ourselves… but he'd hate us, Bea. After everything he's been through… he would never forgive us. They thought his real parents were dead." I've heard this whole story before. Nick told me about the story of his real family. I couldn't believe that his real family was my closet friends.

"And you just expect this to stay a secret," I said.

"Yes," he said, "In fact…" he looked at me through his eye lashes, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to blackmail you, Bea." My eyes felt as if they were about to pop out of my head. Kevin stood up when I stopped pacing. He looked out the window behind me, "I'll tell you're dad you had sex with him." I turned around giving him the dirtiest look I could.

"I didn't," I said.

"My word over yours," he said, "In fact, I came here and walked in on you two when he was supposed to be making sure you weren't doing anything too… physical."

"Get out," I said, my arms crossed over my chest. I met eyes with him again, "You've definitely changed, Kev. And I want nothing to do with your lies. In fact, I'll tell my dad I had sex with Nick. It doesn't matter. _Anything_ is better than having him in the dark. I would never choose my happiness over his."

"That's why he loves you, isn't it?" he asked, "You're the only one who cares enough." I wanted to punch him. I really did. I hated his guts at the moment. His feeble attempt to blackmail me displayed how pathetic and desperate he was. He wanted to keep Nick away from this situation to protect him in some demented way. Sure, he'd be mad at first. But then he'd come around. I know he would.

Kevin left slowly, turning back to me for one last word, "You're going to regret telling him. I know you don't want to be the one to break his heart."

"Who will?" I asked blankly.

"I will," he said, "When the time is right."

"When is the time right?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said, "Soon."

"Please," I whispered, helpless tears welling up in my eyes, "Just go away." I wiped them away and went for the stairs. I heard Kevin close the door. I knew Nick would wake up soon. I went in my room and saw that he was still sound asleep. There were so many things I could do right now. I could take my car, go tell Joe. I could wake him up and tell him right now. But I was afraid. God, I was so afraid what I would do to him or to Joe. I shook my head and slid in next to him. I cried silently in his chest as he slept… unaware.

What was I going to do?

Nick's POV

I woke up to the sound of Bea crying. I looked down at her worried. I don't think she meant to wake me. I reached for her hair, running my fingers through it. She didn't respond. I looked at her more carefully; she was asleep. Why was she crying in her sleep? I pulled her closer, leaning in her ear, "Bea," I said, "Bea, its okay. It'll be okay." She began to stir by the sound of my voice.

Her eyes were nearly bloodshot from all the crying she must've been doing. How long was I asleep, "Bea," I said, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh," she said, realizing she had been crying. She wiped her eyes quickly, hoping I wouldn't see it. What was she hiding?

"Did something happen?" I asked urgently.

"No," she whispered, "I um, must've been dreaming." Why didn't I buy it? She was being dishonest about something. Of course it was only human but why wouldn't she tell me.

"Bea," I said, "You're lying." She shook her head and slid out of her bed. She left her room, her faint footsteps going down the stairs. I instantly followed by instinct. She was staring at the wall, figuring out what to do now that she was down in the kitchen. I put my hands on her shoulders, "You don't have to tell me anything… but whatever it is… I don't blame you."

She started sobbing then. I pulled her closer, becoming scared. She buried her face in my chest. She wasn't sure what to do for some reason. I sat her down on my lap at the kitchen table where she clutched me viciously. I wasn't sure what to do to make her feel better. I kissed her forehead. I would try anything to make sure I wouldn't have to see this sadness again.

"Bea," I said, "what's the matter?"

"I can't…" she choked. There was a knock at the door. I set Bea down in the chair I was sitting in where she rested her head miserably on the table. I went to answer the door, maybe it was her dad. He would know what to do… maybe?

"Joe?" I said.

"Hey," he said nervously. He was looking at me weird. He put his hand on my shoulder and stepped in the house. I had a feeling he knew what was going on.

"Bea's crying," I tested, "she won't tell me what happened. I fell asleep and the next thing I knew, she was freaking out."

"I'll figure it out," Joe said. How did he know Bea was upset? How did he know to come here? Why was he here? He met Bea in the kitchen. She seemed to be communicating with her eyes. He must've responded correctly because she threw her arms around him and cried into his chest. I had to snap them out of this. Something was going on and they weren't telling me a thing.

Joe pulled away and turned to me, "We need to talk, Nick."

"No," Bea gasped, "Joe… no." He looked back at her reassuringly.

"What?" I asked. I let him put his hand on my shoulder again. He lead me into Bea's living room, sitting me on the couch. Bea followed and pressed her back against the corner of the wall. She was afraid of me now… I could see it. What have I done to her? Joe crouched down in front of me, making solid eye contact with me. He was making me feel timid… the kind of nervousness I only felt deep down when I was being hurt by strangers.

"Nick," he said, "Bea is upset because Kevin showed up while you fell asleep." At that moment, I remembered that familiar silence that would layer me like a shell. I never spoke because I was afraid to. Of course, that changed after I met Bea. But now it was like she wasn't spiritually here to protect me from hurt, "Nick… he told her something about you… why he acts weird around you."

Bea wasn't responding in any way. She was staring at the floor. I looked back at Joe who had tears in his eyes. He was staring straight at me, "Nick… you're… my brother. You are Nick Lucas."

His parents adopted me? His parents were thinking about it? No…

His parents gave me up.

Bea's POV

Nick didn't say a word. He didn't show any reaction at all. I slid down to the floor and rested my forehead around my knees, winding my fingers through my hair. It wasn't a terrifying moment because we discovered his family in the most ironic way. It was because he was kicked, punched, scratched, burnt for all of those years… because they gave him up in the first place. It was an aggravating situation and I wasn't even the one who it affected the most.

"Bea," he called. My eyes snapped open to him. He was staring at me blankly but waved me over. I shook my head, "Bea, please. Just come here." I stood up slowly and walked over in front of him. He and Joe looked up at me. Nick pulled me down to sit next to him. He was trying hard not to be mad at me. I could feel it… it was like getting open-heart surgery awake. It was nauseating to know that he hated me. He looked at me icy eyes, "You knew?" I nodded, "How long?"

"When Kevin told me," I said trying to control myself, "I kicked him out… then I saw that you were still sleeping. Nick… please… I'm so sorry I didn't just say it." He looked at Joe.

"Can you please go," he said, "Please…" Joe nodded and stood up. He left quickly and efficiently. Nick stood up and walked in the kitchen slowly. I followed but with distance. I jumped when he slammed his hands against the wall. His back muscles were tight under his shirt. I wrapped my arms around myself nervously, crying silently. He rested his head against the wall, crying too. I could hear it. All of that pain was for nothing… his family was right in front of him…

And they did nothing.

"Bea," he said hotly, "I swear to God… I'm going to run away." He looked at me with eyes that burnt with fury, "I can't believe this. I can't!" When he met eyes with me he saw how afraid I was. I never liked Nick's angry, destructive side. It scared me so much but I stifled it. He walked up to me, "Don't cry." He was so firm, putting his hands on my shoulders, making me look at him, "D-don't… cry, Bea." He was becoming weak. He looked down at the floor, using me as support. He let out a series of short sobs until looking up at me with wet eyes "You can't cry… you need to help me… I can't…" He didn't have any breath left to speak.

"Nick," I said stronger, "Please… don't hate me."

"I-I could never hate you," he cried. He pulled me into his arms tightly. It hurt so bad… but I let him clutch me as hard as he wanted, "You're all I have left."


	25. Chapter 25

Joe's POV

I waited outside Bea's house. I didn't want to leave. I had no where else to go. I couldn't tell Stella or Macy just yet. Everything was so fast. I couldn't stand the sudden intensity after I thought everything was fine. I knew that something was going to give, but I didn't think Nick would throw or hit something. I was thinking about going back in the house, but I heard Bea's voice. She was fine, he was fine… well sort of.

He would talk to me when he was ready to. I knew I had to take the fall even though I didn't know he was my brother until about twenty minutes ago. Things were so screwed up without our knowledge. There was no way out of it. We had to face it and get through it.

Bea opened the door and stepped out the porch. She knew me too well to think that I would just take off after I dropped the bomb. I don't know what Kevin said to her to make her feel like she couldn't tell him, but I'm glad I did it. It had to come from someone who felt his confusion. He would hate me… he would hate them for the longest time. We all let him suffer… all except Bea, "Hey," she sniffled.

"Bea" I said, "I'm sorry… I didn't know until just recently."

"Yes, I know," she said, "I know you would've told me if you knew."

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"He wants to talk," he said, "To you too… are you ready for this?"

"Yeah," I said, "More ready than him I think." Bea nodded and took my hand, leading me into her house.

Nick was sitting at the kitchen table, not making eye contact with me. I was hoping he would make amends with me, get everything straightened out. I had no control over what he though about my parents and Kevin. But I could change things with him I tried. When he heard me enter, Nick stood up and looked at me from head to toe. I don't think either of us was prepared to look at one another and think: _He's my brother… my family._

"You knew?" was all that came out. I shook my head. He sighed… possibly in relief or distress. He had been crying but cleared it up before Bea let me in the house. She was in the corner of the room again, avoiding us, "What happens now?"

"I don't know," I said, "I sort of left before I could get to that point in the conversation."

"Why did your… why did Kevin come in here and tell Bea?" he asked. He obviously didn't like the way Bea was uncomfortable and distraught. I had no idea why Bea took it so emotionally. I looked at her.

"What did he say to you, Bea?" She shook her head, not wanting to say anything.

"Bea," Nick said looking at her short-temperedly. She shut her eyes, like her head was hurting.

"He told me if said anything he would tell my dad he walked in on us having sex," she said a little too quickly. She was hoping Nick wouldn't hear her. But he did. We shared the same expression; anger. We both went for the front door. Bea ran in front of us, fresh tears in her eyes, "Stop!" We both stopped at the sound of her voice. It wasn't pleading; it was demanding, "Go back in the kitchen right now!" We both backed up slowly, like Bea had a weapon ready to use against us.

"Bea-" I began.

"You cannot do that!" she yelled, "You two just found out something that has changed your lives forever and you want to go start a fight?" She was right and Nick and I knew it. We had to worry about what was important at the time. Kevin wouldn't get away with attempted blackmail. But we had to figure out what was about to happen to us. Nick went for Bea and calmingly put his hands on the sides of her face.

"Bea," he said, "Its okay." She shook her head. She shook her head but felt a lot more controlled. She left the kitchen in frustration, slamming the door to her room. Nick nor I went after her. It was silent.

"What do you want to do?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"I don't know," he said. He didn't want to be anywhere near my parents… I mean our parents. Maybe someday… maybe. He wasn't ready either way though. He was going to have to wait it out… but who knows what could happen in that time frame. He looked at me curiously, "You're my brother."

"Yeah," I said.

"Do you want me to be?" he asked. I had a new found respect for Nick. It was always there when I saw the way he made Bea feel, his strength and compassion. He has been on his own for his entire life.

"Of course I do," I said. He stared at me through teary eyes.

"I'm not ready for everything at once," he said slowly, "But… will you still be my brother?" He was testing me, making sure I wouldn't leave him. The only person he had was Bea. But he was afraid that Bea might not be enough this time. I had to be there too. Since I wanted nothing from my parents right now, I needed him and Bea two.

"Yes," I said, "I'll still be your brother." I think the reason Nick was asking me this was because he didn't know what it meant to be held… loved by a true, real brother. It was a fast decision that probably needed more thinking. But for now, when he was at his weakest, he needed me and Bea… that was all he wanted.

Bea's POV

"Bea," Nick knocked on my door before slowly entering. I was sitting on the floor, gripping my mom's picture tightly. I couldn't stand this yet Nick had calmed so quickly. He came and sat next to me, "I'm sorry I scared you."

"I know," I said, "You should be madder than this."

"I know," he said, "But then I saw the way it made you." He put his hand softly on my knee, "Joe's downstairs. We would like it if you came down with us."

"And what?" I asked, "What are we suppose to do? Pretend like nothing's happening?"

"For now, yes," Nick said, "Tomorrow, I think I'm going to pay a visit to Florence. She has a lot of explaining to do. After that… well, we'll go from there." He stood up, holding out his hand for me. I took it hesitantly and he pulled me up. He kissed me softly, probably tasting my salty lips from the crying. He rested his forehead on mine, "Run away with me, Bea."

"What?" I said.

"I'll be 18 soon… after that just run away with me," he said, "Just me and you…"

"Okay," I said. But it still made me edgy. I would worry about it when it came though. He sat back down the same time I did. He held onto the picture of my mom and I.

"Is she like this?" he asked, "My mom?" I nodded.

"She's a beautiful woman," I explained, "She didn't know you would be hurt." I was hoping he would go easy on Mrs. Lucas especially. I'm sure none of them knew he would end up here in their lives unaware and in all of this pain.

"I know," he nodded. I heard Joe enter my room silently and sat on the other side of me. Looking back, I remember that one book I was reading. It was the one about the girl committing suicide because she couldn't chose between the two brothers. Those thoughts made me laugh sadly. I winded my fingers through Nicks and rested my head on Joe's shoulder.

Us against the world I guess.

Macy's POV

"Where the hell are they?" I asked Stella. I tried calling Joe and Bea but neither of them was answering. We were still at Stella's passing the time with low-budget horror films. Stella insisted that we wait for them to call. She wasn't concerned at all. She trusted Joe and hoped he was alright.

"I don't know," Stella sighed, "They'll call." Right when she said that, my cell phone rang. I sighed when I saw it was Joe's number.

"Joe," I said, "Where are you?"

"I'm at Bea's," he said, "Look, I need to stay there tonight. There's a problem."

"What?" I asked, "What problem?"

"I'll explain tomorrow," he said, "But tonight I have to stay here with her and Nick."

"Um, okay," I said, "You should probably talk to Stella." Stella met eyes with me and suddenly became worried.

"Yeah," he sighed, "Yeah put me on with her." I tossed the phone to Stella who was giving me a questioning glance. I shrugged.

"Hey," she said, "What's going on?" There was a pause, Joe explaining to her partially what was going on. Why did he have to stay with them tonight? Something was up. He said there's a problem. What kind of problem. "Okay." She waited, "No, Joe I'm not mad. Just call me tomorrow okay?" She smiled then hung up.

"Said the same thing to me?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, "He'll tell us tomorrow. But he also said one more thing."

"What?" I asked.

"Don't let Kevin in the house," she said.

Bea's POV

"Bea," my dad called. I strolled downstairs, letting Joe and Nick slowly follow me. I had to explain to my dad what was going on too… but tonight I wanted Joe and Nick to stay with me. They didn't want to leave anyway and I didn't want to be alone.

"Hey," I said, "Dad… I um, have to tell you something."

"That's funny," he said, "Because I think I have a good idea what it might be." He was mad. I stared at him puzzled but aggravated.

"Okay," I said.

"I got a call today," he said, "From Kevin…" I rolled my eyes.

"No," I said, "What he said is false. He's an asshole who's trying to keep you from the truth." My dad was surprised at my words.

"What?" he asked, "Why in the world would he lie to me about something like this?"

"Dad," I said, "You know I wouldn't do that."

"Where is he?" my dad asked. He was referring to Nick.

"Why?" I asked. I was afraid he was going to banish Nick from our house.

"He won't lie to me," he said, "He'll tell me."

"Nick," I called. Nick shuffled in the kitchen where my dad hesitated to hang up his gun belt. He was trying to scare Nick and I didn't really appreciate that… not after today.

"Son," he said, "Did you…"

"No, sir," Nick replied weakly. Joe walked in angrily.

"Nick's my brother," he said. My dad looked at him like he was a ghost. His mouth was gaping open a bit. I stepped back next to Nick who was searching for my hand. I grasped it firmly.

"What did you just say?" he asked.

"Nick is my brother," he said, "Kevin came here and told Bea not to tell or he would call you. He's a liar."

"Joe," he said, "That can't be possible… how did you find out?" I looked at my father like I would look at my step-mother… enough said.

"You… knew," I said through gritted teeth. Nick winced by how hard I gripped his hand. I let him go and strode forward so I was neck and neck with my own father, "You knew this… whole time?"

"Bea," Nick said, "Step back."

"No," I said still looking defiantly at my dad, "You knew all about it… but you never said anything? Even when he saved my life… even when Joe and him met? All of that meant nothing to you did it?"

"Of course it did," he said guilty.

"Then why would you keep them in the dark," I said slowly, "Would it have killed you to at least tell them that?" I've never talked to my dad that way.

"Bea," he said, "You don't understand the severity of the situation. You are blinded by your own judgment."

"Would it look any better to me if I wasn't?" I asked. Nick came behind me and pulled me back gently.

"Bea," he said, "Just calm down… its okay." I looked at him as if he was crazy, hoping he was going to elaborate, "It wasn't his position to say anything to me. And… he was very kind to me and Joe."

He was right and I knew it. I just didn't want to believe my father would've kept this from me. But he knew if he told me, I would tell Nick and it wouldn't be any different from what Nick had explained, "Dad," I said looking at him. I ran into his arms and he accepted my silent apology.

"Its okay, Bea," he said. He backed me up and looked at me, "It's been a long night. You all need some rest and tomorrow we'll figure this out."

"Can Joe and Nick stay with me?" I asked.

"Of course," he said. He looked at Joe, "I suggest you have a meeting with Sandy and Tom tomorrow though." He nodded and looked at Nick, "Are you ready for this?" Nick shook his head, holding his arms tightly, "I understand. We'll talk to the foster home tomorrow. I'll give them a visit right now."

"Thank you," he said quietly. I went back to Nick and put my hand on his shoulder. He loosened up and put his hand around my waist.

"You should all get some sleep," he said, looking at me, "Especially you." I nodded, but did not enjoy his parental worries right now.

After my dad left, I followed Nick and Joe up to my room. Even though, I was with Nick I couldn't have loved these two boys any more than I did now. They were here with me… we were like our own family. We had each other… and that was enough.

Nick tucked me in while Joe set some blankets on the floor. I took my last pill then shook my head at both of them, "This bed is big enough for both of you." They both looked unsure but didn't want to see what happened if they refused.

Joe was on my left. I rested my head on Nick's chest as he ran his fingers through my hair. I reached my hand back and held on to Joe's. He glided his thumb over my hand, helping me drift into sleep. I looked up at Nick who had already fallen asleep. I still felt Joe's hand moving but I knew he was becoming tired too. I shut my eyes and let sleep take over me.


	26. Chapter 26

**Yeah, I have "too, to, two" problem. Haha. Thanks for pointing that out. I'll try my best to stop that nonsense. And I feel the same as you about the chapter. Something is missing from it. It may be the lack of POVs or everything is coming out so fast that I'm missing a few things. I'll keep thinking about it and see what's going on. Thanks again!**

Macy's POV

Stella and I didn't get up from the couch last night. Despite how hectic and weird these couples of days were, I couldn't have been any more energetic. I rolled out of the couch and urged myself to take a shower. Grabbing a pair of clothes I picked up yesterday, I went for the bathroom, taking my phone with me.

I had six missed calls from Kevin. Joe never really explained why I shouldn't let him in the house if he happened to drop by. Maybe it was a good idea that I didn't answer the phone.

I took a long shower, letting the water hit my back warmly. I didn't realize how tense I was until now. It must've been because I was on the couch for two days straight. After getting out of the shower and throwing on my clothes, I checked the time. It was almost eleven. I yawned and ran my fingers through my damp hair.

"Stella?" I called walking downstairs. She wasn't in the living room anymore so I assumed she was in the kitchen. As I walked in, she was sitting on her counter top, talking on the phone.

"Yeah," she said, "Okay, we'll be waiting for you." She hung up and turned towards me, "that was Joe. He, Nick, and Bea are coming over in a little while."

"Did he explain what was going on?" I asked.

"Not really," she said, "All he said was they were going to Nick's place then coming to us."

"Hmm," I said pensively, "That's weird." There had to be some sort of reason to why they were going there but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I know," Stella said, "But they'll tell us when the get here."

"Yeah," I said.

"Well," Stella said, "I'm going to hop in the shower. I'll be out in a little while." I nodded. As Stella left, I took her empty coffee cup and put it in the sink. I wouldn't be out of the house for another hour or so. So I filled the sink with sudsy water and did the dishes. Deciding that it was too quiet, I switched on the radio.

I hummed softly to the melody of the average pop song on the radio, scrubbing everything a little too much. I felt like I could run a mile but wanted to stay here until Joe, Bea, and Nick came. I had a feeling whatever was coming was going to be big.

Joe's POV

I got up earlier than Bea and Nick. I felt extremely guilty for doing this to Stella. We were supposed to be spending a lot of time together, but she would understand when I explained everything to her.

I had to find something to do that would pass the time. I didn't want to wake up Bea or Nick. I stared at them for a moment, watching him hold onto her in his sleep, like she belonged there. She really did, didn't she? She was happy, a faint smile spread across her lips. It was so peaceful and I ruined the scene.

I made my way downstairs and poured myself some coffee Bea's father had left. It was horrible; I was never a coffee person. But the caffeine kept me more alert than yesterday. It all seemed like a dream when I thought about it this morning. You can never really remember everything because it was just pictures in your head.

"I see you found the coffee." I jumped and turned around to see Bea leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. I quickly took another sip and went over to her, handing her the cup. She shook her head.

"C'mon," I said, "You need it." She was hesitant but took the coffee from me anyway, gulping the whole thing down in a matter seconds, "Ah, that's disgusting."

"Yeah," I laughed, "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah," she said, "Probably better than you." She put her hand on my shoulder, "I'm really sorry, Joe… about all of this."

"I just want Nick to be happy," I admitted, "You know, even though I found out no sooner than he did, I still feel pretty guilty. I think I owe it to him… to make sure he's right where he wants to be."

"You're sweet to think of him that way," she smiled.

"He's not ready to see my parents," I said.

"Would you?" she asked curiously.

"No," I said, "I wouldn't, and I'm not." Bea nodded and rubbed my back.

"I should go wake him up," Bea said. I nodded and let her go. We had to go talk to the orphanage without any idea what we were doing. I would call her dad. There had to be a way to get this meeting over with without consulting my parents. Nick didn't want to see them… and I would see to it that he wouldn't. Not until he was ready.

Bea's POV

When I went into my room Nick was looking out the window, "I didn't wake you up did I?" I asked. Nick shook his head. I walked forward, unsure if he really wanted me around right now. But today, I would do whatever he said no matter how much it killed me inside.

"Bea," he said, reaching for me with one arm. I walked forward a bit quicker and took his hands. He pulled me forward, next to him, wrapping his arm around my waist. I felt so scared; not of him, but of everything that we were going to do today.

"It'll be okay," I said, "You can stay here as long as you like. And… it won't be easy, but we'll get everything settled." He looked down at me blankly but nodded.

"I love you," he said, "You know that?" Wow; I've never heard Nick say he loves me. That was the first time he's ever said it. But I got sad. I don't know why. I felt like something wasn't right. I nodded, though. I didn't want Nick worrying anymore than he already was, "Do you love me too?"

"Of course," I whispered genuinely.

"Good," he said looking down at me. He turned towards me and easily lifted me up on his feet. He held me as close as humanly possible and pressed his lips to mine carefully. I put my hands on his shoulders. He held me there for what seemed like forever but I loved it that way, "You need to let me talk to Florence alone." It came out as a mere whisper.

"Why?" I asked, finally opening my eyes and completely pulling away from Nick. For some reason, I didn't trust him alone. I felt like he was going to do something.

"I don't want you two dragged into this," he said.

"What?" I scoffed, "Nick… if anyone has to be in this its Joe. I want to be in this… with you."

"I know," he said, kissing my forehead, "But this discussion… just needs to be held alone."

"Okay," I said slowly. What was I thinking? I can never answer that, can I?

Nick's POV

I left Joe and Bea at the house, telling them to wait for me there. But that wasn't going to happen. All I had was Bea and Joe… but I wasn't going to put them through this… not them.

I barged through the orphanage. It was very quiet except for Florence whose powerful footsteps filled the entire building. She was soon in front of me, worry in her eyes, "Nick," she said, "I think you and I need to talk."

"I don't," I shrugged, "I understand all of it. So I'm done talking." I walked passed Florence and upstairs. I barged through my room. If I didn't need it, I would leave it. That's how I had to think. I had one small backpack. I threw in the only things I need: a spiral and pen, money I've found or saved from working for Florence, and the picture of Bea and her mom. It's caught my interest since I saw it; I wasn't going to leave it behind. It was selfish… but I would send it back if I had to.

"Nick," Florence said in the doorway, "You're being irrational."

"Am I?" I laughed, "Because… I really feel like it. I mean, let's fact it. Nothing ever works out well for me, does it?" I looked at Florence who was trying to find a good argument to use against me. But she didn't have one, "I've ruined my brother's life."

"You didn't do anything wrong," she said, "I did… I should've told you, Nick."

"You're damn right," I glared, "Because if you did, I wouldn't have to go through the same shit over and over again." I zipped up my bag and threw it over my shoulder, "I love Bea… and now I have to leave her. Do you know how that feels?"

"Then don't leave," she said.

"I have to," I replied, angry that she didn't understand, "Why can't you see that? If I don't go, her life will be miserable. I can't have her see me this way. I'll ruin her life if I stay."

"You know that isn't true," she said. I looked down at the floor, waiting for Florence to move out of my way.

"I'll come back," I said, "Just tell her I'll come back."

"No," she said, "If you go… you're gone. You will not have her think of you every day, hoping you will return… and if you don't… you'll come back? I don't believe that, Nick. Until you prove me wrong, I have nothing to say to her."

"Fine," I scoffed. She moved out of my way before I could push her.

Joe's POV

We let Nick go to the orphanage alone. Bea and I waited… and waited… and waited. This did take a lot of time. I mean, Nick wasn't happy with Florence. I wouldn't be.

"Where could he be?" Bea asked.

"I don't know," I said. I stood up and looked out the small window in the front door. But there was no Nick, no nobody. I wondered if Bea's dad was there. He talked to them last night, explaining that Nick would be staying at Bea's house.

That's when I heard it; sirens.

Bea stood up quickly. She looked out the window then saw her Dad pull up in her driveway. She quickly went out the front door. I followed, hoping she wouldn't fall over; she forgot to take her medication again, "Dad," she said, "What's going on?"

"Joe," her dad said, rolling down the window, "Don't let Bea leave the house."

"Dad!" she yelled, "What's going on!" He already backed out, heading for the orphanage. Bea and I were thinking the same thing. But I had to contain myself and keep Bea here. She was about to run but I locked my arms around her, "Joe, let me go! He could be hurt!"

"Bea," I said calmly, "Bea, calm down. He's okay."

"No!" she squirmed, "He's not okay! He's hurt! Something is wrong!" I had to drag her in the house. Her pleading was breaking my heart. I knew something was wrong. But he wasn't hurt.

Shit.

Bea's POV

"Joe, let me go," I said weaker. Joe managed to get me in the house. He pulled me in the living room and sat me down. He sat next to me, wrapping his arms around me, "Why are you doing this!"

"Because, Bea," he said, "He's okay. I promise."

"You can't do that!" I said prying myself from his arms. I stood up but he beat me to the front door, blocking my way, "You can't promise me something like that."

"Bea, you're going to get yourself hurt," he explained, "Just please… wait." I glared at Joe but turned around, pacing right in front of the door. Joe didn't move though, knowing that if he did I would take off.

It had to have been an hour or so. The outline of my father opened the door, causing Joe to move out of the way. He stood behind me as my dad nearly limped inside the house. He wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Dad," I said.

"He took off," he said, looking at Joe, "Nick's gone."


	27. Chapter 27

Macy's POV

"They should be here already," Stella said, checking her phone every five minutes. I'm should've known she wouldn't keep her cool for too long. I reached for my phone and missed another call from Kevin. I really wanted to call him back, but made forced myself not to.

"Do you think they're alright?" I asked.

"I don't know," Stella said. I jumped at the sound of the pounding on the door. Stella and I quickly got up from the couch and checked to see who it was.

"Kevin," Stella said, "We shouldn't let him in, right?"

"Right," I said.

"Guys," Kevin said through the door. I slowly opened it to Stella's protest but blocked an entryway for him.

"What, Kevin," I said.

"What's the matter with you two?" he asked, "You're looking at me like I'm a bank robber." Stella and I exchanged looks and turned back to Kevin.

"Maybe right now isn't a good time," Stella said softly.

"What?" he asked. But he paused, "Did Joe tell you?"

"No," I said, "But we're waiting for him. He said not to let you in."

"God," he scoffed, "Look… I-"

"Kevin!" It was terrifying to hear Joe's voice that way. It sounded so demonic and full of hate. Stella and I backed up when we heard the car door slam. He grabbed Kevin and threw him in the yard.

"Joe!" Stella yelled obviously reacting faster than I did. She ran out in the front yard, pulling Joe off of his brother. Kevin stood up.

"What the hell is wrong with you," he growled.

"Me?" he yelled. He jerked forward but Stella pulled him back again, "You're sick Kevin… you're really sick you know that?"

"Joe," he pleaded, "You don't understand-"

"I understand perfectly!" he yelled. I stepped outside and saw Bea sitting in Joe car. She was crying violently. I quickly ran for her, opening the door. She nearly fell out of the car.

"Bea," I said, catching her. She just cried, into the dashboard. That did it. I stood up, and stormed between Joe and Kevin, "THAT IS ENOUGH!" Everyone stared at me silently. All I could hear was Bea's soft cries, "All of you, get your asses in the house! I don't want to hear a word until you are all cooled down, you got it?" Stella let Joe go and tended to Bea. I followed her as Joe and Kevin went for the house.

"Bea," Stella said in a motherly tone, "Are you okay?"

"He's gone," she cried, "He's gone." I looked at Stella worriedly. She didn't know what to do either.

"Let's get in the house, okay?" I said. I took her hand and pulled her out of Joe's car. Stella and I wrapped are arms around her and took her in the house.

Joe and Kevin were sitting on the opposite sides of the room. I couldn't believe they were acting this way. What made them hate each other so much? But most importantly, why was Nick gone?

"Alright," I said, letting Stella sit down with Bea away from both of the brothers, "You two better explain what the hell is going on."

"Macy," Joe said, "Just-"

"No," I glared, "Don't Macy me… Stella and I have been sitting here for two days, wondering what is going on." I turned towards Kevin, "You… you won't tell me shit! Obviously its important enough for Stella and I to know why our best friend is crying her eyes out!"

"Macy," Bea whispered shakily. I turned around and looked at her sympathetically. She was a mess. I went over to her and put my hand on her should.

"Explain," I said to Joe and Kevin, "Now."

Kevin stood up and stood in the middle of the room, "Nick is our brother."

It all made sense, didn't it? The way Kevin acted so strange around Nick. I didn't understand why they didn't just tell us. I had a feeling they've known longer than Stella and I did. But it was nothing worth getting mad over; not when our best friend was in shambles.

"What?" Stella said, "How is that possible?"

"Joe was too young to remember," Kevin explained, "We were too poor so we got rid of him." The way Kevin said it made the whole situation sound harsh. But he realized his tone and gave me an apologetic look.

"He ran off," Joe explained, "Because our family… left him to pain… his entire life. That's why none of them told us… not even me."

"Joe, you wouldn't understand-" Kevin tried to explain. I walked forward and put my hand on his chest.

"Kevin, you need to go," I said quietly. Joe was right. He was completely right. If he kept it from him and Nick this whole time, he didn't care about Nick's safety enough to be counted as a civilized human being. It's that simple.

"Macy…" he said, "I didn't know what else to do."

"She said go," Bea said. She looked up at him throw her tear-stained eyes; they were laced with hatred, "I will _never_ forgive you for this, Kevin… never."

After Kevin left, it was silent. I knelt down next to Bea, "C'mon, Bea." I took her hand and walked her towards the stairs. Joe stood up and went over to Stella, pulling her in his arms. She held onto him as he let out silent cries.

I tucked Bea into Stella's bed, putting the covers over her shoulders. I'm sure she wanted to be anywhere but home right now. I was about to walk away when she took my hand quickly, "Macy," she said, her voice shaking.

"Yes?" I whispered, looking at her. She looked up at me in fear.

"Please," she cried, "Don't leave me." I went on the other side of the bed and held onto her tightly.

"I'll never leave you, Bea," I said.

Joe's POV

After Kevin, left I knew I had to go home and get some things. We had school tomorrow… that didn't sound to great. I knew Bea wouldn't want to go. I would stay with her… or Macy… or Stella. It didn't matter. All I knew was that after this, she wouldn't want to be left alone.

"I'm sorry," I said in Stella's shoulder, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. It just… it didn't seem like a good thing to say over the phone."

"It's okay," she said rubbing my back slowly, "It'll be okay, Joe."

"Not for Bea," I said, "He took off, Stella. He took off and he's not coming back. Bea's in pieces right now."

"I know," she said. She was hugging me tightly, knowing our Bea would never be the same, "Let's go see her."

We walked up the stairs and saw Macy holding onto Bea for dear life. She was crying in Stella's pillow. Macy had no idea what to do but to hold onto her. No one knew what to do except to sit there and not leave her alone. I sat on the edge of the bed by her feet while Stella went behind Macy and wrapped her arms over both of them.

Us against the world again.

Macy's POV

Bea had fallen asleep. Stella insisted that she stay up there with her. Joe and I went downstairs, "I'm sorry," I said, "You must feel terrible."

"I do," he said, "Believe me… I do."

"So what's going to happen?" I asked, "I mean… is there any way that they can find him?"

"I don't know," he said, "They think he's hitching… so they're no real way to track him. He has no identification except his file at the orphanage." I fidgeted with my hands.

"There's no way of fixing her," I said sadly, "I don't think we can heal her this time."

"I know," Joe sighed, "Are you staying here tonight?"

"I can't," I said sorry, "My mother's already pissed that I've run off the pass two days. I should at least stay home tonight."

"It's okay," he said, "Stella and I have it under control."

"Okay," I nodded, "But if anything goes wrong or Bea needs anything, just call me." He nodded.

"I'm going to get some stuff at home," he said.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked.

"I have to see them eventually," he explained, "Besides, I'm 18… I'm legally free to leave." I wanted Joe to know that his parents love him, that they weren't going to do anything to hurt him. But if I did, I think Joe would've tried to prove me wrong. I didn't want that kind of headache right now. I just left him go.

Joe's POV

I snuck in through the window. I could hear Kevin yelling downstairs at Mom and Dad. I had to go fast if I wanted to get out of here without being noticed. I grabbed a bag and threw in a few things I would need for the next few days. I would come back if I had to. As I left through the window I heard someone clear their throat. I turned around and saw my dad.

"Going somewhere?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, "I'm staying at Stella's for a few days."

"Joe, that's not a good idea," he said, "You belong here with us."

"I don't belong anywhere near you guys right now," I said shortly. He was hurt by that. I could see it in his face. I stepped back in the house, "Dad, I love you… and Mom… and Kevin… but… it's just going to take me a while to figure out who you guys are again."

"Joe-" he said.

"Look," I replied, "He's gone, Dad. He ran off. Bea loved him, Dad. Now her life is ruined… my life is ruined… and so his Nick's." He had no retort, "Did you know how many times he's been to abusive families?" He shook his head, "Because that's the problem. You didn't know so now he feels neglected by you. You should've just kept in touch."

"I'm so sorry, son," he said. I nodded… but that was it. I nodded and I left.

Nick's POV

I tried to hitch a ride but some guy nearly ran me over and gave me a face full of muddy water. I was on the side of the highway God knows where. I think I left New Jersey the last few rides. I was dropped off at a gas station where I began to walk. The last guy I was with brought me on the edge. Now here I was, sitting on the side of the road, fearing a cop would pick me up and bring me back to face them.

I had to forget her… all of them. I had to forget everything for the sake of her. If I stayed she would learn to hate me. Either way, nothing was working out well for me. It never does, does it?

"Hey!" someone yelled out the window of a station wagon. I stood up and waited for the car to pull over. I had to get over the fear of untrustworthy people. The inside of the car was dimly lit. I let out a sigh of relief. There was a girl driving. She had long red hair and really green eyes. Her whole arm was tattooed, "You need a ride?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Where to?" she asked, unlocking the passenger's side.

"It doesn't matter," I said getting in.

"A runaway huh?" she asked, merging back on the highway.

"Something like that," I said, wrapping my arms around myself to stay warm. She noticed and turned up the heat to her car. I could tell she was trying to be friendly but kept my guard up. I would get over my fear, but it would take time.

"I'm Kara," she said.

"Nick," I replied.

"So, Nick," she said, "You have anywhere to stay?"

"No," I said hesitantly.

"You're in luck," she said, "You do now."

"Where are you even from?" I asked. I have to admit I was acting pretty gutsy.

"New York," she said, "A few friends and I live in the city. You're welcome to stay with us." I looked at Kara curiously. She was staring at the road then looking at me, "Or… not?"

"I ran away from an orphanage," I said. She looked at me surprised, "I can't be found so…"

"You're really lucky you came across me, Nick," she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I'm hiding too," she smiled.


	28. Chapter 28

Nick's POV

"Hey, kid," Kara said, shaking me awake. My eyes snapped open; I didn't realize I fell asleep in the first place. I sat up and was hit in the face with a bunch of lights. We were in New York. I've never been here before of course. So many people… wow, "I know, right?" I looked down, not okay with how Kara watched my every move, "Don't worry, that spark goes away after a while. You just have to be here long enough."

Kara pulled up in an alley and I became scared all over again. I didn't realize how tense my shoulders were but of course she did. She put her hand hesitantly on my shoulder, "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said stiffly.

"Look, I'm not gonna hurt you," she said, "I'm not like that. I'm just your average person." She sounded pretty honest. I nodded and she stopped the car, "C'mon, I live right over here." She got out of the car and I hesitantly followed. It was freezing here, a light snow falling over the entire city. The noise was so quick. Looking out through the alley, I saw how fast the world moves. It was amazing.

I followed Kara to an old metal door. She grabbed a handful of keys and picked the correct one in a matter of seconds. She had to push against the door pretty hard but eventually got in. A faint red light filled the long hallway, leading to an elevator. I waited in the doorway as Kara began walking. She turned around, realizing I wasn't following her.

"Okay," she said, "I get it… you're nervous. But I'm not some creeper. Why are you so judgmental?"

"I sort of have to be," I said quietly.

"Why is that?" she asked.

"I'm not the most stable of guys," I said. That made me sound like the Hulk but Kara went along with it.

"You're safe here, Nick," she said genuinely, "Scout's honor." I took a deep breath and followed Kara up the elevator.

"Alright," she said as we rode up, "So my friends are pretty outgoing. But don't worry, they don't bite. They're all in all pretty welcoming." I nodded but kept quiet.

"Kara!" someone yelled enthusiastically. It caused me to jump but that was just natural instinct. A scrawny indie-looking guy threw his arms around her, "You've been gone forever!"

"Yeah, yeah," she laughed pushing him off. He looked pretty decent. I could see light brown hair peeking out of his beanie cap. He had really blue eyes, almost transparent. He reached his hand out.

"Oliver," he said, "And you are."

"This is Nick," Kara answered for me. I held out my hand meekly but Oliver strongly took it, shaking it in a friendly manner, "He's crashing with us."

"Cool," he smiled, "Well c'mon on in, Nick. We've got plenty of room for you." I repeated Kara's actions as she stepped out of the elevator. Looking around, it came to my attention that we were in a loft-like art studio. There was canvas everywhere, faint folk music playing on a vintage radio. Oliver had busied himself with a painting. There were two more people on a sofa watching a small TV while another couple painted together.

"Guys," Kara snapped, "Everyone up." The TV switched off and everyone but Oliver met up with us, "This is Nick, y'all. He's a new member."

"Member?" I asked nervously.

"Resident, member," she shrugged, "Whatever you want to call it." I was afraid I was going to end up in a room full of meth-heads. But I was far from it. They were all pretty normal. The only thing that didn't fit was the fact that Kara was hiding. Why were they hiding?

"Nice to meet you, Nick," said a short and stout girl, "I'm Serena." I shook her hand, "This is Bobby, Jack, Ruby and Sam." I looked down the line of people. Some seemed younger than others. Bobby and Jack, the couple that I saw painting together, held out the painted hands and I shook them individually. Then they put their arms around each other, wiping paint off each others face. I shook Ruby's hand. She looked pretty young, like my age. She was clutching Sam's other hand but smiled at me warmly… a little too warmly. Sam stared at me blankly and nodded in acknowledgement.

"So Nick," Bobby said, "What do you do?"

"Um, I'm just a small towner," I said, "Ran away."

"Why?" Ruby asked curiously.

"Guys," Kara said defensively, "Ease up on the interrogation, alright?" She noticed how I wasn't willing to answer them just yet. I took a deep breath. _I have to open up_. I thought.

"I was abused as I kid," I said, "I fell in love, then found out her best friend was my brother." It got unusually silent. The only thing heard was the radio. Oliver even looked up from his painting to stare at me, "His family kept it from him… and watched me get thrown into other families."

I felt Kara's hand on my shoulder, "Thank you for sharing that Nick," she said. She knew at that second… that's why I was so distant, "You won't get hurt here… not like that." I felt myself settle more into environment after Kara said that. I think I could live here with them.

"So what do you guys do?" I asked.

"We're artist," Kara explained, "Grafitti, stuff like that."

"Is that why you're… you're hiding?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," Kara shrugged simply, "But you know, we try our hardest to stick to the man. You any good?"

"At what?" I asked dumbly.

"Art," Jack laughed.

"Um, I don't know," I said, "I mean, my girlfriend is… was. She um, taught a few things."

"Good, good," Kara said, "So you got a background."

"I guess," I said.

"Hmm, Ruby," she said, "You train him. Teach him everything you know."

"Will do," Ruby said smiling. Sam let go of Ruby's hand and let her walk up to me, to examine me. I looked at Sam who was still staring at me in surprise.

"Get some sleep tonight though," Kara said, "You've probably had a long journey."

"Uh, yeah," I said quietly. Kara broke me away from the group.

"So," she said as she lead me into a room with five beds, "You're bed's right here. You're all set. If you get cold or whatever let me know. I'll be happy to get anything for you."

"Thanks," I said setting my backpack on the bed. She stared at me pensively.

"I make you nervous," she said. I nodded, admitting it silently, "I understand. We probably all do. That's why I'm putting you with Ruby. She's pretty calming, really laid-back. She'll make sure you feel okay here."

"Thank you," I said sincerely. I met eyes with her and she realized how intense this situation really was. She had no idea how much she was changing my life… maybe for the better.

"No problem," she said rubbing my shoulder and leaving the room.

The next morning was exceptionally bright. I felt a presence at the foot of my bed, causing me to jump and sit up at that same time. I rubbed my eyes awake and saw Ruby staring at me happily, "Look, alive sunshine."

"Hey," I said tiredly.

"C'mon, trainee," she laughed, "We have to get started." I did as she said, silently throwing on the same shirt I had on yesterday. Ruby left the room full of filled beds. I guess it was all of the guys in this particular room. I didn't mind that, not by the way Kara made me feel. I liked her, but she still made me nervous, like she was a criminal. But I was still adjusting.

"So," Ruby said, "You have a _little_ experience." We went down a large hall, almost like one in a hospital. It was so open, windows reflecting the morning sky. I turned around to see every part of the wall painted on except for one which was stripped down to white.

"I guess," I said.

"Hmph," Ruby laughed. She pulled her flannel shirt tight over chest. I watched her grab a brush and outline a circle, "Alright, I'm going to teach you how to make this circle look like a sphere."

"Alright," I said. She handed me a brush, taking my hand and dipping in red. She positioned my hand correctly and let me go. I started shading the sphere circularly. Then she stopped me.

"Okay," she said, "No you have a bit of a base. So you add your value. Use black for dark areas and white for light areas. Make sense?" I nodded and she let me do it. I have to admit that it was fairly easily and in about ten minutes I had a sphere, "Not bad at all, new guy. Wasn't the timing I was aiming for, but it was good."

Ruby actually made me smile.

Hours past and Ruby and I had made plenty of spheres, "How did you get here?" I asked her.

"Well, me and my brother, Sam," she explained, "We were kicked out of our parents place just recently. But Kara was kind enough to take us in. I feel like I belong here. As soon as I walked in here, I knew I was home. I just got that feeling. Didn't you?"

"Yeah," I lied, "Definitely."


	29. Chapter 29

**Three Months Later**

Joe's POV

I can't believe I moved back home. It didn't make me feel any better. I'd rather be at Stella's, spending time with her than here with my parents who acted like I would bite their head off at any moment. I was completely over it. They paid the price I was going for. That was all I wanted. I was ready to make amends. But every morning I would walk downstairs and it would get unusually silent. This particular morning, it was even worse.

Kevin was in the doorway.

Three months ago, he took off, back to college… where he belonged. I made reparation with my parents… but not with him. I still hated his guts at the moment. I ignored him and grabbed my stuff for school and my keys.

"Running late?" my mom asked.

"No," I said, "I should probably take off anyway." I looked at Kevin who stared at me with the same bullshit apology face, "How long are _you_ here?"

"Not long," he sighed, "I promise."

"Promises," I scoffed, "Promises." I quickly got in my car and drove away, speeding down the road. I wish I could just go straight off to nowhere… but I couldn't. Stella needed me, Macy needed me.

Bea needed me.

I pulled up in the school parking lot. Stella and Macy were in plain sight, talking to a group of kids I didn't really associate with. When they saw me, they excused themselves and went up to me.

"Hey," I said. Stella kissed my cheek and stood next to me, my arm over her shoulder.

"Can you believe it," Macy smiled, "No more freaking snow."

"It's a miracle," I laughed, "School is a bit of a downer though."

"I guess," Macy said, "But I can't wait to see Stella in outside P.E."

"Okay," Stella laughed, "Make fun of the girl with not motor skills. But some day, you'll all be working for me." I laughed and held onto her tighter, kissing her platinum blonde hair. I've grown so attached to Stella, I was hoping that she wouldn't go to Stanford… or I would go with her. It didn't matter to me. I didn't want to be at home anyway. But I had to stay… if not Bea wouldn't have to look out for her… well, sort of.

I tried to push it out of my mind and went to class. It wasn't until art that I noticed the two empty seats. Everyone knew what was going on too. It's gone public after the whole town-wide search team. Everyone's kindly gone out of the their way to find Nick, but it wasn't anything I asked for. No one asked for it. After a while… nevermind.

After school, I pulled up in her driveway. I knew I shouldn't have come here. Thinking of me as a gateway to hell, Bea's avoided me. Macy, being the only one she hangs out with, says she hardly speaks, she's stopped eating, making her skinnier than twigs, and she can't even sleep. She's clinically depressed.

But I needed to see her. I couldn't stand the separation. She had to get out of here for a while, get her mind off things… three months of watching her suffer is killing me inside. I knocked on the door and her father answered. He's been taking time off at the station for Bea's sake, although I'm sure her good-nature hasn't gone away. She probably tried to kick him out of the house and back to work.

"Joe," he coughed, "Um, I'm not sure if Bea wants to see you right now."

"I know," I nodded. He let me in anyway, knowing that she needed a fresh face in her life whether it was painful or not, "How is she?"

"It's hard to say," he said, "She asks about you all the time, though."

"Really," I smiled, "That's good." He nodded and went to a cupboard in their kitchen. Inside he pulled out a bundle of letters, all with the same address, "Oh." I took them and shoved them in my backpack.

"She wants nothing to do with him," he said, "I've tried giving them to her."

"Oh," I sighed, "So you've called off the search?"

"Yeah," he said, "He's 18, a legal adult. There isn't much we can do about it unless he comes back."

"He won't," I shook my head. I knew Nick was my brother but I hated him for doing this to Bea, I hated him. I guess that's what I've been trying to say. Bea… doesn't want anything to do with Nick. She doesn't want him to be searched for, nothing.

"She's upstairs," her dad said, changing the subject, "You're all clear."

"Thanks," I nodded. I went for Bea's stairs. They were creaky enough to hear me so she plenty of time to prepare. I knocked on her door but it slowly opened. Bea was sitting by her window, looking outside. Her eyes came and met mine, making me wince. They had purple rings around the bottom. Her face wasn't red anymore because she stopped crying weeks ago. She was just blank, half of her was gone.

"Hey," I said. She looked at me from head to toe and looked back out the window.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Well, it's nice to see you too," I laughed, trying to make a joke. But she still stared blankly out the window. I sighed and walked towards her. I sat down next to her, "Are you going to school any time soon?"

"Why should I?" she asked. Macy has been getting all of her assignments in, basically home-schooling her. It would be a rare sight to see Bea go to school anymore.

"Because," I said simply, "It's unhealthy to be cooped up in here all day."

"I don't care," she said just as blankly as ever.

"C'mon," I said, "You know you don't want to be here right now, Bea. You have to get outside. You're as white as a ghost; you're not eating, not sleeping. I know that for a fact."

"Look," she said, "I get it. You're trying to be a good friend an all. But I don't need a good friend." She rested her head against the window frame, looking at the same spot on the window.

"Bea," I begged, "Please. Just come with me. I'll take you anywhere you want to go." She looked at me.

"Anywhere?" she asked.

"Yes," I nodded, "Anywhere." She stared at me hesitantly and looked back out the window. I couldn't take this. She was in there somewhere, "Alright." I took her hand and pulled her from the ground. She wasn't aggressive but she didn't want to leave. I lifted her up over my shoulder easily.

"Joe," she said, "Let me go."

"Nope," I said. I opened the bathroom door and set her in the shower. She stared at me alarmingly but it was too late. I let the water go on her, drenching her in her clothes. She was pretty mad at first, screaming cuss words at me. But then she got a hold of the shower hose and sprayed me in the face. I tried to pry it from her hands but she was overpowering me. I let her because… she laughed. Soon, she gave up, leaving us both drenched in water. We were both laughing as I grabbed towels and started drying the floors as best as I could. I could hear her father laughing hardly from below. He didn't seem to mind.

After I got the floor dry, I wrapped a towel around Bea, lifting her up and setting her on the floor, "Are you ready to go?" I asked. Her happiness seemed to have faded but she nodded, "Good." I let her shut her door to get dressed.

She came out dry and threw her wet clothes in her bathroom. Unfortunately, there was no saving me. I wasn't going back home, not with her in the car. I walked downstairs and Bea's father tried very hard to not laugh. Bea still looked depressed but smiled slightly at the sight of her father's jolliness.

"Is it okay if I take Bea out for a while?" I asked. It didn't really require a lot of effort for her dad to answer. He nodded and waved us out. I had to grip Bea's arm to get her to leave, but she didn't regret stepping outside.

"The snows gone," she commented. She inhaled the spring air deeply following me to my car. I opened the door for her, "Thanks." I smiled and nodded, shutting the door for her too.

It was sad, really sad. Bea's van was old-looking and dusty. She hadn't driven it for that whole three months. Hell, as I got in the car she wouldn't look ahead of her. It seemed that every day of her normal life brought back thoughts of him.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Anywhere outside," she sighed. As I backed out she cleared her throat, "Joe?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Can we get Macy and Stella… I mean, to come with us?" I asked.

"Of course," I said, "I was hoping you would say that." I wanted to say that they missed her, that they wanted to know how she was. But (since Macy already knew for the most part) I didn't ask, knowing that at this point Bea was fragile but showing a sign of recovery. Well, that was good enough for me to work with.

Macy's POV

"Stella!" I called. I went to her house after school to grab some dirty laundry she wanted me to do for her. But then I looked out the window and saw Bea. She was actually all cleaned up, her skinny form and baggy eyes sort of bringing it down. But it was a start.

"What?" Stella said, urgently running down the stairs. She ran into me, smashing me against the window. When she looked out, she screamed in excitement, causing me to cover my ears.

"Stella!" I yelled.

"Sorry," she squealed, "But… oh my gosh! She's out of her house. I know if Joe saw her, she would. I knew it." Joe honked and Stella and I quickly ran out of the house. I loved the way the air smelt after all the snow was gone and the sun was out drying everything. It was so perfect.

"Hey," Joe said from out the window, "Get in." That was enough for us to nearly run into the car like our lives depended on it.

"Where are we headed?" I asked.

"I know the perfect place," Joe said, "It'll be great."

"Joe," I began, "Why are you all wet?" Bea let out a chuckle and I felt like doing a happy dance.

"Bea gave me a shower," she explained.

"Oh," Stella and I both laughed.

Stella's POV

After Joe and I went to a greasy, fast food place and picked up everything they had, we drove to a beautiful local park. The sun was setting soon, making everything seem cross-processed. No one was there except us, allowing Joe to park the car in the grass. We set a blanket in front of the car where Macy and Joe sat down, setting up all of our unhealthy food.

Bea was lying on the hood of Joe's car and she let me join her. She was looking up at the sky, the sun hitting her too pale face. I could tell she missed it out here. She's cooped herself up in her house too much. She needed some sun, some food, and some sleep.

"I miss you, Bea," I said.

"I miss you, too," Bea said truthfully. That was the first time I've heard her speak in months so words couldn't describe how she sounded. But she was still distant and I knew only time would fix that. I could deal with this current Bea, "I'll go to school tomorrow, I promise."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," I said. I noticed that Joe and Bea, who were sitting on the blanket, were listening. I looked back at Bea though, pretending not to notice.

"You are too nice," she said, "And I will go to school. I don't want to… but I'm going to." She sat up and looked at me, "In fact, I want to just do things with you guys. I want to go out and… be normal." I pulled her scrawny body into a tight bare hug.

"Good," I said, "That's really good."

"Can we start with all of that food though?" she asked. I wasn't sure if she was trying to be funny but I laughed anyway, pulling away from our hug.

"You stole the words right from my mouth," I said. Bea actually smiled… she authentically smiled for the first time in a long time. She got up and sat next to Joe who put his arm around her. If it weren't for Joe, forcing her to leave the house, I don't know where we'd be.

But Nick's return still lingered in the back of my head. I believed it would still come. I knew he would still come back no matter what. I've been thinking about that for the last three months. But since Bea was starting to come around, I didn't care about putting my point across. She was happy and that's all I cared about.


	30. Chapter 30

Nick's POV

"Wow." I jumped at the sound of Ruby's voice. She was standing in the hallway she showed me, looking at what I was doing. I've been repeatedly been painting over the same spot, filling something new in it every week or so. I've been getting better at it. But I wasn't expecting Ruby to be up this late. In fact, I could hear everyone else in the main room causing a bunch of ruckus.

"Uh, hi," I chuckled, "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she smiled, sitting next to me on a bucket turned upside-down, "You've gotten good. I'm afraid you're not going to need me helping you all the time."

"It's okay," I said, "You can still help me." After a few months, I began to open up to everyone in the house. I knew that I would've eventually deep down. But I didn't know them well enough to start right away.

"You're good," she said, "Really good. I'm glad we've influenced you so much." I nodded, knowing that wasn't all completely true. I put it in the back of my mind, focusing on my present conversation with Ruby.

"Me too," I said quietly.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, sure," I said still not making eye contact with her.

"Why don't you ever look at me?" she laughed. My eyes snapped to her, afraid I did something wrong. She was close, very close. I looked straight at her.

"I don't know," I said honestly, "I'm scared to."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because you're weird," I said, "Straight-forward times ten."

"Yeah," she said, "I know. But I'm only human… just like you."

"Right," I disagreed silently. But she stared at me happily, her brown eyes twinkling. She leaned in and almost… kissed me.

"Nick!" Kara yelled from a distance, "Come check this out." I turned back at Ruby who was looking past me angrily. I was so scared; I just got up and left, walking down the hall to meet up with everyone else.

Kara, who was sitting at an old metal table, was looking at her laptop. Everyone else was surrounding her, looking at the same thing.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I didn't hear Ruby behind me, making me feel a little bad. Serena made way for me so I could look at what they were gawking over.

It was a New Jersey newspaper article… about me. They called off the search for me… they stopped looking for me. For some reason, my heart felt like it was about to explode. I mean, I was eighteen… I was a legal adult… I knew it would happen eventually. I just didn't think it would feel this way.

"Looks like you're officially a free man," Oliver said slapping his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah," I croaked, "I'm going to get out of here for a little bit."

"What?" he asked, "Where are you going?"

"I don't know," I said, "But I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay," Kara said understandingly, "See you."

"Yeah," I said walking out the sliding door.

Bea's POV

"You were out late," my dad said. Normally, any parent would be upset while saying that. However, my father was happy. He was in the kitchen, attempting to make something on the stove. It smelled spicy as it popped and sizzled on the frying pan.

"Yeah," I said, "What in the world are you making?"

"I uh, was just experimenting," he said. Something squirted a suspicious liquid out on my dad's hand, causing him to yelp in pain. I quickly shut the stove off, turning on the sink to he could hold his burning hand under the cold water.

"You really shouldn't cook," I said smiling a bit.

"Yeah," he said, "I know. I just thought you'd be starving." My dad knew Joe, Macy, and Stella would somewhat change my ways in a matter of a few hours. He just didn't know that Joe and Stella bought half of our local fast-food joint's food.

"Actually, we all ate," I said, "Thanks, though. That was really thoughtful."

"Well, "he said, "It was no problem." I put my arm around his shoulder, counting as a hug in our book.

"I'm going to head off to bed," I sighed, "I totally forgot I had school tomorrow."

"So did I," my dad laughed as I walked upstairs.

It was not hard going to sleep. I knew that I hadn't really slept in a long time. I had those scary dark rings around my eyes and I was thin… too thin for me. I had to get out of this. For a while, when I was out with my friends, I forgot why I did this to myself in the first place.

But it always comes back.

I can't get it out of my head. It's been three months and my mind hasn't improved much. I felt better getting out of the house so I would just have to keep doing that. Besides, this room… this house… this street… it all reminded me of him. I always looked down the street, hoping to see him walking down to be here with me. It hurt, it really did. But after three months, I've become comfortably numb.

Tomorrow I would focus on school and Joe, Macy, and Stella. I would find someone else. I could get out of this. If I survived my entire life before meeting him, I would survive now. There are plenty of people out there who are just a sweet, as understanding.

I decided that I would go find a job tomorrow. I wasn't sure where because my though process was interrupted by my cell phone vibrating on my nightstand. I shot up in bed, grabbing it. It was an unknown number. I didn't usually answer those because it ended up being telemarketers.

"Hello?" I said wearily. It was like I was talking to a wall on the phone, "Hello?" Still nothing, "I can hear you breathing…"

"Bea." I jumped at the sound of the voice. It was like being executed through an electric chair. It killed me insides completely, my entire body shutting down. I looked back at the screen of my phone. I wasn't sure what to do.

"W-who is this?" I whispered.

"Bea," he said, "It's me… it's Nick."

I slapped the phone shut, setting it calmly on my night stand. I pulled my knees up to my chest, that same helpless feeling coming back to me. I had to keep my composure. I didn't want to go back to being alone and sick. I slowly put my phone back on my dresser and pulled the covers tightly over my shoulders, going to sleep with much difficulty. At least I got to sleep at all.

Nick's POV

She hung up… she hates me. I knew this would happen. She didn't know this was all for her. She wouldn't understand that because I hurt her so much. God, I didn't know what to do. I called her on a pay phone outside the building. I slowly hung up, thinking about calling her again. If I did she wouldn't answer.

I missed her voice though. It felt so good to hear it. I loved her hellos, her whisper. Before she knew it was me, she seemed okay. It was good to know that she was okay… before I came and screwed it up. Well, I guess I shouldn't expect to feel good about any of this.

"Where did you go?" Ruby asked when I walked back inside. She was waiting for me? I liked Ruby… but not like that. I wasn't ready for anything when the only thing I could think of was Bea.

"Just got some air," I replied. If I told Ruby, she would get jealous and I would have to hear her talk about it all night. I knew that if Ruby was this straight-forward about everything, that "everything" would include my secret feelings for Bea. Her jealously would sky-rocket. That's just the person she was.

"Are you okay?" she questioned as I checked the time. It was late, really late.

"Yeah," I shrugged, "I'm fine."

"Kara told me about the article," she said concerned, "Is that what all of this is about?" I looked at her staring at me with worry. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Ruby made a mistake by almost kissing me. I can't say it was just her fault in the first place. I was about to kiss her too.

"Of course she did," I chuckled. Ruby didn't ease up on her concern, "Look, it's fine."

"Alright," she shrugged, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Alright," I said, "Good night." Ruby didn't answer. She knew I was lying. But that didn't change anything. If I told her, she would feel worse.

"Hey." I turned around and saw Sam sticking his head out of the guys' room. He rubbed his eyes, stepping outside. Even for me being here for three months, Sam rarely spoke to me. Come to think of it, he rarely spoke at all.

"Hey," I said, tightly pulling my arms over myself.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, "I mean, you took off pretty quickly."

"Um, yeah," I said, "I guess I was just a little… scared."

"Of what?" he asked nervously. I shrugged, unsure of how to explain what I was feeling. It wasn't scared, though. I wasn't afraid… I was sad. I was sad that Bea hung up on me, that she felt better off without me, "Well, hey. If you want to talk about it…"

"Thanks," I said.

"You should probably come to bed," he said, "Kara wants to attempt to go out in public again."

"Great," I scoffed. We would definitely get arrested this time. If I got arrested, I might be sent back to New Jersey, where I would have to face everyone. I was a coward; I wasn't going to risk exposure any more.

Joe's POV

I got up earlier to go get Bea. My parents weren't even up. I left a not un-kind note specifying where I would be. Bea was an early bird when it came to school and she wouldn't be willing to drive. Hopefully we could make more improvement than we did yesterday. She looked so happy; it was nice to know that we all did that.

"Hey," I said to Bea. She was sitting on her porch when I pulled up in the car. She was staring at the ground, deep in thought. I sat next to her.

"Hey," she said. At least she noticed I was here.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah," she replied, "I just had the strangest dream."

"What was it about?" I asked putting my hand on her shoulder.

"Nick called," she sighed. I raised my eyebrows. She did sound sad necessarily. She sounded more along the lines of curious.

"It was just dream," I said.

"Yeah," she said, "I know. It felt so real though."

"I understand," I said, gripping her shoulder more, "It's just because you haven't gotten much sleep. You're just adjusting."

"Yeah," she said, "You're right. We should get going." I helped Bea off her porch. She walked to the car with a haunting gracefulness. I was surprised by how deep in wonder she was.

"Hey, Bea?" I asked as I started the car.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Do you think that maybe… it wasn't a dream?" I asked. Bea stared straight ahead as we drove to school. I gave her time to answer or not to at all. It didn't matter. Hell, I wasn't sure why I said it in the first place.

"I hope not," she said after we pulled in. But she said it without feeling. For some reason, I thought that it wasn't a dream. Also, I thought that Bea wanted it to be real. She wanted him to call.


	31. Chapter 31

Nick's POV

"Hey!" Kara's voice boomed through the room, "How in the hell did you get a key?" I sat up quickly, looking at Oliver, Jack, Bobby, and Sam who were rolling there eyes, getting out of bed. I stayed quiet but followed.

Once out in the main room, I laid eyes on Kara glaring at some black-haired, goth guy. He was holding a file folder tightly, giving them same look to Kara that she gave him. I stayed my distance as Ruby and Serena stood over by me.

"That's Eli," Serena said, "He's bad news." Worse news than Kara and everyone else here? It's easy to assume that we don't do necessarily legal things here. It was all the same to me I guess. I haven't really participated in their public art-outs considering I was new and am still practicing. But we've all went out in the city together, scourging for food and things we might need. Still, for the whole three months I've been here, Eli has never come up in conversation let alone shown up randomly in the morning.

"I just came to give you some info," Eli said, smiling crookedly. I shivered as he walked forward and pushed the folder into Kara's chest, causing Sam to step forward defensively.

"Get out of here," he said. That's when Eli looked straight at me.

"Easy Sam," he said, "Let me get a good look at your newbie here." I didn't really consider myself new still, but I wasn't sure why Eli was taking a sudden interest in me anyway.

"Leave him be," Kara hissed, "He is no concern of you."

"Hmm," he said, his eyes still on me, "I know your face… you're the kid from Jersey who ran away." I looked at Ruby in a way that said "How in the hell does he know that". I was so scared, knowing that some random guy I've never seen here walk in and say he's seen me (or my face rather) before.

"Get the fuck out!" Ruby said suddenly lunging for Eli. Sam shot his arm out and caught her before she could come close to reaching him. Serena hesitantly took my arm and pulled me into the other room, shutting the sliding door.

"Don't worry," she said, "It'll be alright."

"How does…" I faltered.

"He's got… a gang," she said, "Well, it's not even a gang. It's just a group of assholes who like to mess with people… but it's on a whole new level." She sat me down on my bed and stared at me firmly, "If he doesn't like you, he'll harass you for as long as you stick around. It's sort of like a New York bully." Everything Serena compared Eli to didn't seem to measure up to him. The way Ruby reacted… the way everyone reacted made it come off like he was much worse than a bully.

Soon, Ruby, Sam, Oliver, Bobby, Jack, and Kara came in the same room Serena and I were in and surrounded us wearily. Kara sat down next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder, "Now, there's something you need to know about Eli…"

"Why didn't you tell me about him before?" I asked suddenly.

"We were hoping he would never come up," Kara explained, "Honestly, we've switched locks so many times-"

"But that bastard always finds a way in," Oliver finished for her, "He's probably seen you in an article or something."

"Why?" I asked, "Was he looking for me or something?"

"No," Kara said, "Eli's memory is pretty spacious. He can hold a lot of information."

"He's like a genius," Ruby said aggravated, "If he's seen you, he's not going to leave you alone… not until he checks you out and makes sure you're not a threat."

"I don't get it," I said, "Why would I be…"

"He's just crazy," Kara said, "And in your case… in you're case, he's going to be very interested in you." I froze, holding my breath. Kara was basically said that because I grew up abused, then Eli would want to mess with me. So he was like a bully; a psychopathic, cruel bully.

And I'm assuming he's going to be watching me.

Bea's POV

School was a drag. I thought it would be easy, suddenly going back to normal. But I had a lot to catch up on. Even what Macy brought to me wasn't enough. During lunch, I nibbled on something blunt but edible. Macy was showing Stella some sort of newspaper article. Joe leaned over towards my ear, "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said snapping out if it, "I just have a question for Macy."

"What's up?" she asked, stilling looking at the newspaper article."

"Um," I began, "How come the stuff you taught me at home was only half of what we're doing in class now?" Macy stopped and looked up at me.

"Well," she chuckled nervously, "That's a funny story…"

"Mace," I pressed.

"Okay," she admitted, "I've sort of been doing some of your homework." I looked from Macy to Stella to Joe.

"And did you know about it?" I asked Joe and Stella. They shrugged and shook their heads so I turned back to Macy, "Okay, how much?"

"Enough for you to have better grades," she said. I gave her a stern look, "Okay, okay. So I did some of your homework. It wasn't like the teachers were going to cut you any slack. And you were pretty distant. I didn't want you to over-work yourself."

"Okay," I said after a brief pause, "I understand your logic so you're off the hook… but no more doing my homework."

"I promise," she said, "Scout's honor." I sat back farther in my chair and Joe tensed up when Brian passed. For some reason, after Joe's incident at the port, I feared him more than usual. Maybe it was because of my vivid hallucinations; it could've made him more of a threat if it was real though. Maybe it was because he put me in the hospital. But I leaned more towards what he could've done to Joe when he took off.

"Hey there, Bea," he laughed, "You finally decided to show up to school? Where's Nick?" Joe stood up, standing in front of Brian to block me.

"Move along," he said.

"Oh, so you're sticking up for her now?" he said, "Well, I guess it's pretty normal since you fucked her and all." That did it for Joe. He grabbed Brian by the shirt but he was too quick for Joe. He put Joe in a headlock, making him gasp for air. I stood up and so did Macy and Stella. But there wasn't much we could do.

"Stop," I growled at Brian, but he just taunted me more by smiling. Joe was scratching at Brian's arm, jerking around breathlessly. He was running out of air and I felt like there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"She said stop!" Stella yelled walking on the other side of the table to slap Brian hard across the face. He let go of Joe and went for Stella. I was so shocked when he grabbed her wrist, trying to contain himself before he hit a girl.

"You shouldn't have done that," he laughed. Joe was getting up from his choke hold. But it wasn't enough time for him to get to him. Brian turned to Macy, slapping her across the face.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. It was like a major adrenaline rush. Sudden strength was coursing through my veins, giving me the will to kick this guy's ass. Before any of the male students in the cafeteria could reach him, I pounced on Brian, bringing him to the floor.

"That is enough!" someone yelled from across the cafeteria. With Brian, Joe, and I on the floor, the principal walked across the room and hauled both of the boys up by their shirts. I quickly got off the floor and went to Macy. I had lifted her face up to see the bright red handprint that was probably beginning to form. I wrapped my arms around her, letting her cry in my chest. I can't believe that just happened, "Young man, did you just _hit_ this young lady!" Brian didn't answer, obviously clarifying that.

"You," he said, "Will come with me to the office. You, Mr. Lucas, should tend to this lady before you, her, _and_ Beajoin Mr. Kowalski in my office." He let go of Joe's shirt and he walked over to me and Macy, still out of breath from when Brian choked him. I felt an internal pain in my leg, making me realize what I just did.

"Macy," Stella gasped, "I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know…"

"I'm okay," she said, tears welling in her eyes. I tried to wipe them away but Joe took Macy's arms trying to make eye contact with her. I was busy looking around the cafeteria at the silent student body, staring at us in shock.

"Macy," he said, "Are you alright?"

"What just happened?" she whispered, looking at him finally.

"I don't know," he said, "It was so fast." He turned towards me and Stella, "Are you two okay?"

"Yes," I said.

"Okay," he said, "C'mon." Joe put his arm protectively around Macy's shoulder, leading her out of the cafeteria.

"Joe," Stella called.

"C'mon, honey," he said. She quickly shuffled over to us, knowing that if she stayed there it would be too awkward to handle.

Joe's POV

I was fuming! Why in the hell would he do that. He just… he just _hit_ her. She was standing there and he just slapped her. I didn't even understand. I knew Stella hit him, so I feared for her safety more than Macy's. Brian was so unpredictable in doing that. If he was going to hit anyone, which I didn't think he would in the first place, he would've hit Stella. If he did, I would've killed him. God, I hated him. Luckily, he was probably going to jail.

I lead Macy outside the principal's office, where Bea was sitting next to her in a row of waiting chairs. Macy was staring straight ahead, her cheek red. Bea glided her fingers over it, "God, he hit you hard. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," she said, wiping her tears.

"I'm going to kill him," I growled. Stella put her hand on my leg trying to calm me down. I took her hand, looking at her, "Are you alright?" She nodded and stood up.

"Macy, I'm so sorry," she said, "I had no idea he would do that."

"Stella it wasn't your fault," Macy said, "I'm glad it was me and not you."

"Don't say that," Stella crouching down to her level. Bea stood up and began pacing, picking at her nail.

"Bea," I said.

"I know," she replied shortly. She knew what I was thinking. It was her job to put Brian in his place. It was the last piece to the puzzle. Through all of that, I still couldn't believe that small, frail Bea had brought the head quarterback to the ground. Brian skyrocketed in height and he weighed over 200 pounds. But _Bea_ kicked his ass. It felt like opposite day.

"Don't," Macy said, "Don't ruin his life because of this."

"Macy," Bea said, "He hit you! He's going to jail for assault. Don't you think it'd be wise to give him this last piece of info?"

"I…" Macy tried to defend her argument but just looked down.

"It's okay," she said, "I'll tell him." I know that Bea tried hard not tell anyone about the incident with Brian that landed her in the hospital. That effort went away after he hit our best friend. Now he was going to pay.

Nick's POV

"Hey," Sam said walking in our room. I stayed in here after Eli showed up. I didn't want to leave the building but Kara was planning on it. Luckily it was only the middle of the day. She wasn't going to force me out of the house just yet, "You mind if I come in?" I nodded, not sure why Sam would ask permission to enter. It was his room too. He came over and sat across from me, taking a deep breath, "Don't worry, Nick. He's not going to hurt you." I didn't reply, playing with my own hand… didn't I use to do that before?  
"I get it," I said, "But I just don't completely understand why he would like the fact that I'm some beat up kid."

"Because you're weaker in his eyes," he said, "In all honesty… he belongs in jail… we all do." I looked up at him, scared, "Why did you open up to us so fast? I mean, you don't seem the one to be easily social. You were probably scared to death when Kara picked you up."

"You could say that," I said, "I just… where I was, I couldn't stay. I figured if I made myself get use to complete strangers, I would find a place to stay."

"You found the right place," he said, "If you want to get mixed up with the wrong people."

"What did you do?" I asked. Sam sighed. I wanted him to tell me. As soon as I got here, I knew there was some big secret. As nice as they all were, they put me on the edge. It was certain things they did. They snuck out a lot at night, saying they were going to get things. It usually consisted of essentials. But I wasn't sure why they never left with any cash. I stood up quickly.

"Look," he said, "We're not proud of it. But we have to live."

"By stealing?" I asked. Sam rubbed his temples.

"It's more than that," he said, "Look, that's why we won't take you. You wouldn't have been able to handle."

"Is that abnormal?" I scoffed. He shrugged, "Look, I haven't been the nicest guy on earth but… I wouldn't steal."

"Like I said," Sam said, "It's more than that. That's where Eli comes in." I stood there, waiting for Sam to continue.

"It's because of Eli," Sam said, "Eli makes us steal so he can make money… which he gives to us to live." I can honestly say that after Sam said that, I didn't follow right away. Why would Eli give them money for things they've stolen? Why couldn't Eli just steal those things? But then it made perfect sense.

"So what do you steal exactly?" I asked. Sam wouldn't answer right away, "Do you steal what you guys come home with?"

"No," Sam said. He stood up and looked at me nervously, "We steal artwork… and we replace it with replicas we make. That's what we give to Eli. That's what he gave to Kara today… a new list." As Sam was explaining this to me, I could only think of one thing.

What the hell have I gotten myself into.

"You said you just painted on walls and houses," I whispered.

"No," Sam admitted, "We're art burglars, Nick."


	32. Chapter 32

Nick's POV

"Nick wait!" Sam yelled as I tried to leave the room. He put his hand on my shoulder, making me tense. With difficulty, he turned me around, prying my hands from the door, "You can't make a scene."

"And why not?" I asked angrily.

"Because, if they knew I told you this, you would never leave."

"What?" I asked, "I never said I wanted to leave."

"Nick," Sam said, "I know what it's like to be away from someone you love. Trust me, I can see it in you. You want to be with her." I shook my head in denial but knew he was right. Now that I know who I'm living with, the urge to return to New Jersey grew. "If you want to get out of here, you have to act like you don't know."

"But what happens when they want me to go out with them?" I asked.

"You won't," Sam explained, "Not tonight at least. You've got about a week to get out of here."

"I can help you," he said, "Get you on the subway." I asked myself so many questions. What if they follow me home? I mean, was Sam really trustworthy? What if I was caught? Most importantly, what if I made it back and Bea wouldn't accept me. I had nowhere to go except back to the orphanage with Florence, who I would have to face anyway. I would tell her I proved her wrong and I did come back. But I was 18 already. I was a homeless nomad. Even if I did go back, would the satisfaction of putting Florence in her place even be worth it? Hell, this was only if I made it out of New York.

"Why would they make me stay here?" I asked, "I won't turn them in."

"I know," Sam said, "They would keep you here to protect you from Eli." If I was scared before, you wouldn't believe how terrified I was now, "Nick you can't think about that. Once you're gone, the rest of us will find a story to give Eli."

"What could you possibly say to make him believe any of this true?"

"Well I'll worry about that when I get there. In the mean time you have to play it cool, especially with Ruby."

"Why?" I asked half-heartedly.

"Let's just say if she knew about this other girl," he laughed, "She would hunt her down and kill her." I knew it was a joke but I could find the will to laugh. Sam clarified that Ruby was not trying to be just my friend. The though of her hurting Bea could be believable in my eyes. I couldn't make a mistake.

Bea's POV

"So," the principal said he called me in with Macy and Joe. Stella was told to wait outside. She was lucky she didn't have to be in the same room as Brian. What she did to Brian was brave and was only to protect Joe. No one, and I mean no one, would predict that Brian would hit a girl… well at least not in front of everyone he knows, "Care to explain?"

"Uh, he hit Macy," I said, "What is there to explain?"

"Well," he sighed, "You can start with _why _he hit her."

"Sir," Joe said, "That's hardly relevant."

"I've discussed with Mr. Kowalski of the consequences," he replied, "All I want to know now is what happened." I looked over and Brian who was staring straight ahead at nothing. I looked at Macy then back at the principal. Brian saved me in a way. He helped Joe through my window that night. He helped us. And I was about to ruin his life?

"Brian's been taunting us for a long time," I explained, "Because I didn't tell anyone…" Joe took my hand.

"Tell anyone what?" the principal asked, finally getting somewhere.

"A while back in the year, I went a party, and got beat up," I said, "I mean, I went with him alone and he… pressured me. When I rejected him, he… he knocked me out and left me alone." The principal had his eyebrows raised.

"Bea," he said, "That is a very serious accusation."

"It's true," Joe said, "You know it's true. You remember when she ended up in the hospital. It was all over the school." The principal looked at Brian.

"Mr. Kowalski," he said, "You will stay in my office. The rest of you are no longer needed. I suggest one of you take Miss Misa to the nurse. I've heard plenty to get to the bottom of it." Macy quickly stood up and left the office. I couldn't move; not until Joe took my arm.

"C'mon, Bea," he whispered, "Let's go."

Joe's POV

"Stella," I said when I left the office, "Will you please take Macy to the nurse."

"Absolutely," she said, her arms already around Macy as she suddenly began to cry in her shoulder. Before they left she looked at Bea.

"You did the right thing," she whispered, "Don't ever forget that." Bea didn't even seem to be listening. I took her by her arm and lead her around the corner. I held her up against a locker. She was staring off at nothing.

"Bea," I said, "Bea, you did the right thing. Macy is right." I was so afraid she was back to her walking-dead state because she wouldn't answer me.

"They have no proof," she whispered, "Nothing will happen. The only one who can prove it is…" she looked up at me through teary eyes.

"Oh, Bea," I sighed, pulling her closer in a hug. She cried in my chest silently, her hands lightly on my back, "Bea, I know… how much it hurts."

"It never goes away does it?" she asked. I couldn't answer that. It's been three months and Bea was getting somewhat better… but that was only when she wasn't put into a situation that made her think of him, "Were you sad… when he left?"

"Yeah," I said, "I was."

"Joe," she took a deep breath, "I don't think it was a dream. I think Nick called last night."

"God," I said, "What are we going to do?" Bea pulled away and wiped her tears free of her face. She sniffled a bit then gave me a light smile.

"We do nothing," she said, "We move on."

Nick's POV

"Hey," Kara said as I casually walked out of my room that night. After the confrontation with Sam, he's been avoiding me like usual, not speaking and doing as Kara said. I, on the other hand, hung out in my room most of the day. It wasn't until about six when I decided to get out of there.

"Hey," I said meekly.

"You're going to have to dress warm," she said, "There's a cold front tonight."

"Wh-what?" I asked.

"Don't you think it's time for you to give it a try?" she asked. I looked at Sam who didn't make eye contact with me. I think that meant to go with it. Hopefully he would have a plan.

"Um, yeah," I said, "I guess."

"Good," she said, "We're probably going to wait until midnight. That gives us some time to prepare."

"Yeah," I said, "Hey Kara?"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"We won't have to hurt anyone will we?"

"Nick, we're graffiti artists," she laughed, "Don't be silly. Just get ready for tonight." I nodded and basically crawled back in my room. I guess it was a bad idea leaving there in the first place.

Bea's POV

"Bea," my dad said as he walked in the house, "Can you go for _one_ day without getting yourself into trouble?"

"I'm not quite sure what I've done," I said, turning the page of my book. I was sitting at my kitchen table to my surprise. What happened with Mary seemed to fade over time. I completely forgot about it.

"No," he said, "I mean… why do you attract trouble?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. He slung his gun belt on the usual coat hook and rummaged in the kitchen, "I made you dinner."

"You what?" he asked. He made it seem like I was speaking a foreign language. I haven't cook for my dad in a while. He was obviously surprised that I wasn't as fazed as I was before.

"I made you dinner," I said.

"Bea," he sighed, "I was told a few other things about the incident today?"

"Like what?" I asked.

"He hurt you?" he asked, "You said the night of that big party he was the one who hit you on the head."

"He did a bit more than that," I sighed.

"Like what?" he asked. My father's tone indicated that he didn't believe me. I wasn't offended though. I didn't bother me as much as it maybe should. I've never necessarily lied to my father, except for when Brian hurt me. That was a big one. But I wasn't going to hide it anymore. As much as it pained me to turn in someone that contributed to saving our lives that night, hitting Macy was the last straw. I had to accept it.

I stood up and showed my dad the old burn mark on my chest. His eyes widened but he didn't say anything, didn't move, "Dad… I wasn't going to ruin someone's life."

"Even if they may have ruined yours?" he asked, "How did you know you weren't pregnant… or even raped?"

"I just know, Dad," I said, "Trust me." I was reminding myself of something but couldn't put my finger on it.

"Bea," he said, "You can't do that anymore." It was so long ago, my dad couldn't even process everything correctly. In times like that, he just let it go, "Did you handle it at least… the right way?"

"Sort of," I said, looking down.

"What does that mean?" he asked worried.

"It means, I didn't take care of it," I said, "Nick did." My dad stared at me apologetically for a moment then sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry," he said, "And he's going to jail. I can be sure of it… just… promise me if anything like that happens again, you tell me right away." I nodded. Who else could I tell, "You're going to have to be punished Bea."

"Yeah," I said, "I know."

"I think you need to get a job," he said, "Save some time."

"I'm way ahead of you," I said, "I start tomorrow."

"Oh," he said, "Where?"

"The music store," I said, looking back at my book. That wasn't my dad's favorite place but it would do. It wasn't like there were plenty of job openings out there. This was going to have to do. Besides, for the first time, I actually felt like I was moving on.

**It's a bit of a flop chapter but I'm really busy and it's all I could post for now. Thanks for the great reviews. **


	33. Chapter 33

Nick's POV

"So," Jack said, "You're actually coming tonight?" I was in my room with Sam who hadn't really said anything about getting out of here. He created irrelevant small talk either because he knew we weren't exactly out of earshot or he just didn't how what to do.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"You're a brave kid," Jack said, patting my back, "Don't worry. It'll all be good." I nodded when I really wanted to run. It wasn't like I hated them. They were doing this because Eli, being as intimidating as he was, made them. What I didn't understand was why they would drag me into this without his orders. Did they believe they would be able to keep it a secret? I knew they were smarter than that. Maybe they did it because they just wanted an extra man going into their operations. Maybe, though, they were trying to get help by accepting me. They thought I could help them? What could I do? I could hardly take care of myself as it was.

The guys came and went, getting ready for tonight. Nothing could stifle my goose bumps. I sat at the foot of my bed, my face in my hands, "Hey," Sam whispered, "What's this?" I dropped my hands to see Sam holding the picture I stole from Bea's house. I strode over and took it from his hands. He had my entire bag.

"What are you doing with that?" I asked not un-kindly. I wasn't completely thrilled that he was going through my stuff but there wasn't anything I could do to rectify it.

"I saw it lying around, "He shrugged, "I didn't know it was yours." In mid-sentence, I began searching through my stuff under the bed. I grew frightened; I never took it out that backpack unless everyone was asleep. It never left this room.

Ruby.

I walked forward, snatching the bag from Sam to go out in the main room. kara was sitting with Ruby and Serena, "Why in the hell are you going through my stuff!" I felt a rush of power wash over me. Ruby stared at me in the most obnoxious way possible.

"So what?" she asked, "There is nothing wrong with that."

"Do you even hear yourself?" I asked, "You can't just go through my things. But I guess you'd used to that; taking things that don't belong to you."

"Nick!" Sam exhaled sharply. I didn't care though. I looked at Kara's surprised expression then back at Ruby who was smirking playfully.

"Well," Ruby scoffed, "You're the one to talk about keeping secrets." With that, she grabbed the bag from my hands and pulled out my spiral. Inside were letters for Bea. I had been sending them frequently, "You must love this girl, Nick." She never sounded so jealous, "I would hate to see her get hurt." My mind went blank. Ruby glared at Sam then looked back at me.

"Keep her out of this," I growled.

"If you leave, she'll die," Ruby said. Of course, being a teenage girl, she was just over exaggerating. The threat though, wasn't any less effective on me. But if I left, she would get targeted… just not by Ruby.

I took my stuff back and shut the door just as the rest of the guys walked in the main room to see what all the commotion was. I threw my things under my bed, feeling a headache forming behind my eyes. I looked at Bea's picture of her mom holding her. It always calmed me down.

I didn't realize that I was playing with my own hand.

Ruby knew that I was planning to escape. They all did. That's why she was threatening, not including the jealousy. I really was surprised to find out that Ruby was interested in me. If I had decided to stay, if I decided to forget Bea, I would've fallen in love with Ruby. But ever since I met her, I knew she was too good to be true. Her real colors showed and now I'm glad I still loved Bea.

"Hey," Kara poked her head through the door. Her voice was calm and nice. She wasn't upset that I knew. Making sure I wouldn't pounce on her, she walked completely inside, sitting next to me on my bed. "I just want you to know that you don't have to do this…" I looked at her. I knew I had to do this. Eli knew my face. He wanted me out there with the rest of them.

"She's unsafe now," I said.

"Don't listen to Ruby," she said, "She's just jealous."

"I'm talking about Eli."

"Nick," she sighed, "I don't care about Eli. The rest of us won't let them near your love." She sat back farther on her elbows, "I wouldn't leave now though."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"I know we're not trustful Nick," she said, "but you can't leave without patching things up with Ruby."

"I don't have anything against Ruby," I shrugged, "She comes onto me though. This just… it got me mad."

"Do you really love her?" she asked.

"Who? Bea?" I asked. Kara nodded. I wasn't sure I should be talking about Bea… but what would Kara do? "Yeah… I really do."

"Why did you leave her?" she asked.

"I found out who my family was," I said, "I just saw her and I felt she was being torn apart from the inside-out."

"Does she love you?" Kara asked.

"Not anymore," I shook my head, "I don't blame her. I broke her heart." Kara paused so I kept going," Everyday, I feel her slipping away."

"Oh," Kara said. She stood up and grabbed my things. She put them in my lap.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"C'mon," she said flustered. Was Kara crying? I stood up and followed.

"Kara?" I called.

"I'm getting you home," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm getting you home," she said, "Let's go. Ruby! Guys get out here!" The main room cleared out after I left. The last person to entry the main room was Ruby. She was pretty pissed still but I avoided eye contact, "Tonight, we're getting Nick out of her. If you don't like it, then feel free to leave. We operate now."

"We can't," Oliver said, "We're suppose to-"

"I know," Kara interrupted, "And we will… but after Nick's out of here."

"How will he go?" Sam asked.

"I'll get him on a Subway," she said.

"What about Eli?" Serena asked, "He's going to notice he's gone."

"We tell him he's dead," Kara said, "He got hit by a car during the operation."

"He'll know if it's not in the news," Ruby mumbled.

"It'll buy us some time," she said, "You have got to trust me on this."

**I know, I know. It's short! I'm really sorry! I've been a busy bee. I'm hoping I left you wanting more. I'll post a new chapter asap. **


	34. Chapter 34

Nick's POV

"I don't know how far we can get you," Sam said. Everyone was in the guy's room, discussing the plan. Ruby was nowhere in sight, "But we'll get you out of New York."

"You don't have to do this," I said.

"Yes," Kara said, "We do. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be in the mess." At that moment, I realized that they were truly nice people. They lied, and that was unforgivable but Kara took me in. I couldn't imagine who I would've ended up with if she didn't see me on the side of the road.

"Will we get him through the subway?" Jack asked, "Because I could get him straight through by the bus."

"You can?" I asked, "How?"

"Don't worry about it," Jack smiled, "Bobby and I will go right now."

"Please," Kara said, "Don't get caught by you-know-who."

"Will try," he winked. I looked at Kara nervously and she just shrugged.

"Guys," I said, "I'll be right back okay?"

"Okay," Kara nodded.

Ruby had to be around somewhere. I didn't want to barge into the girls' room so I went to the only place I would normally find her.

There was still a small white patch in the hallway from where I didn't cover it up. Ruby was staring out the window. I slowly walked over to her, sitting down, "What do you want?" she asked.

"I wanted to apologize," I said. She looked at me in a strange way.

"What for?" she asked.

"For… leaving you," I said.

"Yeah," she sighed, "Well, you gotta hand it to her. This chick is strong if she's managed to be away from you this long." I smiled and bit.

"I like you Ruby," I said, "You were the only one who made me feel safe here for a while. You taught me everything I know about this. I just… I wish I didn't figure out what you guys do."

"Eli didn't give us much of a choice," she sighed. It was silent for a second, "I don't want to say goodbye this way."

"Me neither," I said, "Not this way."

"Can we just go back to being… friends?" she asked. The word "friends" was a bit sour but I nodded, ignoring it. She turned towards me and kissed softly. Normally, I would've pushed her away. But like we both just agreed, we weren't going to say goodbye in a hostile manner, "Sorry."

"It's okay," I said. .

"Well," Ruby said, "I'll be back. I'm going to do a few things before we leave."

"Okay," I said. Ruby got up and left. I didn't know she went in her room. When I tried to open it the door was locked. I had a feeling Ruby was keeping a few things from me.

Bea's POV

Homework, homework, and homework. I officially hated the word. Maybe letting Macy do my homework is a good idea. I laughed at myself, knowing I was just crabby. I was locked in my room, doing six different assignments, and when I tried to call Joe or Stella or Macy, I wouldn't get an answer.

"Hey," someone knocked on my door. I smiled when I saw Stella poke her head through the door. When she walked in, Macy and Joe followed.

"Why didn't you guys answer your phones?" I asked.

"We were already on our way," Stella explained.

"You seem stressed," Joe laughed.

"Look at all of this," I said throwing my hands up, "I can't do this."

"Well, we're here to help you get caught up," Macy said, "If you up for it?"

"You know I am," I sighed in relief, "But it's like nine o'clock. Don't you guys want to-"

"No," Joe laughed. He sat down next to me, taking the homework I was attempting to do. Macy sat on the other side of me while Stella cuddled up next to Joe.

"Macy," I said, "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," Macy said, "I can take a hit."

"You know they arrested him," Joe said, "He's not coming back to school." I felt a massive pit forming in my stomach and Macy put her hand on my shoulder.

"You did what you had to," Macy said.

"I ruined his life," I said.

"No you didn't," Macy said kissing my cheek, "He did." I've never really looked at it that way. I didn't regret telling… I just can't help but feel guilty. I looked at Macy's bruised face. Yeah, it was definitely worth it. I pulled her in a hug.

"No one is ever going to hurt you like that again," I smiled. We all jumped to the sound of my phone going off. I reached for it and checked the caller I.D. Restricted. I looked at Joe, Stella, and Macy and it who didn't seem to notice my edginess, "I'll be right back guys."

"Okay," Stella said. I excused myself from my room and went in the bathroom. I knew it wasn't safe downstairs where my dad could here. I switched the lock and sat on the floor, staring at my phone that was still ringing.

"Hello?" I asked picking up.

"Hey, this is Bea right?" I didn't recognize the voice. It was a girl.

"Uh, yeah," I said, "Who is this."

"My name's Ruby," she said.

"Okay," I scoffed, "And why are you calling me?"

"Well," she laughed, "I guess I just wanted to hear your voice. You're boyfriend can't stop talking about you." I paused, staring at the wall in front of me. I put my ear to the door to make sure no one was around to hear me.

"What in the hell are you talking about," I said.

"I'm saying that your lover is here… with me," she said.

"Where's here," I said.

"Ha, nice try," Ruby laughed, "I'm just giving you a warning… Nicky is coming home… to you." I felt my stomach start to sink. I looked around the room to see if I was really sitting her alone. I felt like I was in a dream.

"He's never coming back," I whispered.

"That's not what he said," she replied, "Besides, he misses his girlfriend."

"I am not his girlfriend," I snapped, "I am not his anything. He is not coming back. If you call again, I'll get the police involved. Stay out of my life, got it?"

"Whatever you say," she said in a devious way, "You don't have to take my word for it but he's coming… and he's bringing some friends with him." It seemed as though I couldn't find something to say but I could say anything. It didn't matter though. She hung up on me.

"He's not coming back," I repeated to myself, "He's not coming back."

Joe's POV

"Bea," I said knocking on the bathroom door. As soon as I said her name, Bea burst out the door.

"Hey," she said, "Sorry. Just a phone call."

"From who?" I laughed, "Commissioner Gordon?"

"No," she said flicking my chest. She walked past me and back in her room. With all puns aside, I was pretty concerned. Who did she talk to that required her to be isolated from the rest of us? I guess I would let it go for now.

"You are all set," Macy said to Bea when she walked through the door.

"What?" she asked, "I am? I must be really stupid."

"Shut-up," I laughed pulling her in a head-lock. She laughed and poked me side; making me let her go willingly, "_You_ are not staying cooped up here on a Friday."

"What do you suggest?" Bea said, "I sit in my back yard?"

"How about my house," Stella said. I met eyes with her and I knew right away what she meant. Macy and Bea were of course joined in on our secret conversation.

"Macy and I will go to the video store," Bea said, "Rent all of the Jake Gyllenhaal movies that exist."

"Yes," Macy said standing up and linking arms with Bea, "Only the one's where he's naked… and we have to convince my mother to let me leave the house. We could be a while." Bea nodded with everything she said.

"She won't let you leave?" Stella asked.

"Well take the whole Brian thing, mix it with menopause, and a mid-life crisis," Macy said, "She wants to 'cherish her moments with me while they last'. You know, shit like that."

"Let's go," Bea said, "We'll take my van." I didn't have time to comment on the fact that Bea was actually going to take her van out for the first time in three months. Maybe that was for the best. To bring it up could make her change her mind. But they were out the door anyway. I looked at Stella and she smiled.

"They can read minds," she smiled.

"Yeah," I laughed. She stood up and walked towards me. I sped up her pace by pulling her closer by her hips, "Let's get out of here."

"Okay," she said, kissing me lightly.

Nick's POV

"You have everything?" Sam asked when he walked in our room for the last time. We were getting ready to go. Jack and Bobby came back with the bus ticket for me and I told them I couldn't have been any more thankful. I reached for Bea's mom's picture, setting it in my backpack. I zipped it up and nodded, "Good." He dug into his pocket and put something in my hand.

"What is this?" I asked, looking at the abundance of bills. There had to be well over a thousand dollars here, "Sam, where did you get this."

"It wasn't stolen," he said, "I've lived here for years. You'd be surprised how much cash you find on the sidewalk or between couches."

"Sam," I said, "I can't accept this."

"That's okay," he said, "Because I'm making you take it."

"Why would I need this?" I asked.

"Just in case," he said, "I mean, just in case you need to get back here." I didn't really think about that. My main focus was on getting back to Bea and… and then what? What would happen if Bea didn't want to see me again? I didn't blame her.

"C'mon," Kara said, knocking on the door, "It's getting close to midnight. You're bus leaves in a half hour." I stood up silently and followed Kara out of the room with Sam. Everyone, Serena, Ruby, Oliver, Jack, and Bobby were standing in a line, just like they were when I first met them. I found it strange how fast time went by.

"It's time to say goodbye," Sam said. I looked at everyone then at Sam.

"What do you mean?" I asked, "You guys aren't coming?"

"Kara's going to take you," Sam said. I felt Kara's hand on my shoulder.

"I figured since I was the one who brought you here in this mess, I should be the one to take you out," she said.

"You guys aren't a mess," I said, "You were very kind to me when I needed someone the most. Thank you."

"That's sweet," someone said behind me. The hair on the back of my neck stood up in a flash. I turned around and sure enough, my new worst nightmare faced me.

Eli.


	35. Chapter 35

**WOW. It's been a while. I've been a busy bee. I'm basically a teen music producer (haha) because my sister is on a dance team and I cut their music and what-not. Plus, I've been reading A LOT of books for some reason. In the last week I've been through like eight books. Plus, I've got some art stuff I have to take care of (our school is organizing a mural and of course it's me that has to do it). So I'm so sorry for the inconvenience and I hope you'll keep reading. **

Nick's POV

"Well, well, well," Eli said, "I see we're planning a little escape plan?" I wouldn't look at him. I looked over at Kara who was frozen where she stood. I felt like I was on some lame crime TV show. This would be the part where we begin some huge gun chase and I'm the one who gets shot dead.

"Eli," Kara said, raising her hand in peace, "Please. He's a kid. We don't need this kind of trouble." Gee… thanks.

"Yeah," Eli laughed, "Well, that's understandable… but unfortunately Kara, that's not what concerns me." He walked up to me, getting too close for comfort. I looked away again. I could smell pure alcohol on his breath. It made me want to gag but I kept my composure. Who drinks that much fucking moonshine? "My problem is who he'll tell."

"He won't say shit," Sam spat.

"That's right," Eli said looking at Sam, "Because he's not going anywhere." He looked back at me, grabbing a hold of my face, "Look at me… remember these eyes… they'll be the last thing you see." After few seconds, he pulled out a shot-gun. My eyes grew wide but I didn't move. I stayed right there as he was about to shoot me, as I was about to let him shoot me.

"No!" someone darted as quick as the bullet that could've hit me. In a matter of seconds, Eli was no longer standing before me. Someone pulled me back by the shirt; Sam. I looked over his shoulder and saw that Ruby had done it. She brought him to the ground.

"You backstabbing bitch!" Eli grunted, trying to pin her down. I wanted to get him away from her but Sam took me roughly by the shoulder and pushed me towards Kara.

"C'mon!" Kara said running with me past Eli and Ruby on the floor and toward the door.

"What about the others?" I asked as we ran for the elevator.

"They'll be fine," Kara replied. Standing still in the elevator didn't feel right. I had no idea what was going to be on the other side of the door when it opened. It was moving so damn slow that I had no choice but to pace back and forth. Kara put her hand on my shoulder, trying to stop me; but I could see how shaky she was too.

"You're going to be okay," she said. She dug into her pocket and pulled out the bus ticket. I had my backpack slung tightly on my shoulder, afraid that Eli could show up spontaneously in this small box at any moment. She gave me the bus ticket, "Don't drop it."

"I won't," I said. At that moment, the elevator stopped abruptly. Kara lifted the door up to reveal… nothing. I let out a small breath a relief, but I knew we weren't out of trouble yet. Kara and I hesitantly exited the elevator and walked towards the door. It was pretty dark but we managed to get the door. Unfortunately it made a lot of noise when it opened. So we took it very quick. Kara basically kicked the door down. When she peaked her head out she went right back to me.

"There's a car out there," she said, "Some of Eli's acquaintances are inside, waiting for him. When they get the signal from him, they'll come looking for us. They're probably armed."

"I don't know why they care if I leave," I said.

"They'd do anything to make sure no one finds out about them," she said. She grabbed my arm and pulled me out slowly next to her. One of the tinted windows of the black SUV was rolled down, revealing multiple men waiting patiently for their boss. They were looking straight ahead, like robots. They didn't see us.

I let Kara pull me the opposite way of the alley, leading us to another street I wasn't familiar with. It was extremely crowded which I began to think was a part of Kara's plan. As she expertly wormed through the crowd with me trying to follow her, I saw her as an intellectual mastermind for the first time. She always seemed that way to me; I just never witnessed anything like this. If we were in a large crowd, Eli wouldn't try anything. Like Kara said, they weren't going to jeopardize getting busted.

"Oh, no," Kara gasped when she looked behind. I tried to look behind me but Kara yanked me away, "Run Nick!" So I did. With Kara basically clawing my arm off, I ran pushing anyone who got in my way; they would get over it.

"This way," Kara said. I looked to my right and saw another alley. It wasn't then until I realized that Kara was falling behind me.

"C'mon!" I yelled I pulled her father, letting her nails dig into my skin. We took the right into the alley.

Kara collapsed.

"Kara," I groaned going back for her in the wet alley full of garbage and filth. I tried to pick her up but she slapped my arm. She was hyperventilating like she had run a marathon. I didn't understand what was wrong with her.

"I…. have… asthma," she coughed, "You need… to go!"

"Not without you," I said.

"Nick," she wheezed, "Go… now." So this was it. This was the last time I was going to see Kara. I could hear yelling from the multiple men. They were getting closer, "Go, Nick. Go."

So I did. I ran.

Joe's POV

"Are you sure about this Stella?" I asked. Stella was sitting silently in the passenger's seat of my car as we drove to her house. Stella and I were together for three months. I mean, we were adults, right? This was something we could handle. I just didn't want to pressure her. I think I did a pretty good job and making her feel like when she's ready we'd do this.

"Yeah," she said, "Are you? I mean, you're ready aren't you?"

"Yeah," I said, "If you are, I am."

"Then there's nothing to worry about," she smiled, putting her hand on my leg. I smiled at her, pulling into her driveway anxiously. She slipped out of the car and poked her back in the car to look at me, "You're going to have to come get me." Then she shut the door and skipped towards the car.

"Wow," I sighed, taking a deep breath. This was it. Stella and I were going to have sex. I was okay with this. I was ready for it and she was ready for it. It wasn't going to be anything too freaky. Hell, it might not even get that far. But whatever happens, I know I can't back down or hesitate unless she tells me to stop. I didn't want to make her get the wrong impression; the impression that I didn't love her.

I allowed myself to get out of the car, looking at the small crack in the front door Stella left for me. She tempted me further until I was there, my fingertips lingering along the smooth metal of the doorknob. I gripped it tightly and pushed the door open, turning around to shut it.

When I turned back forward, Stella was right there, crushing her lips to mine. She winded her fingers in my hair and I kissed her back. I kissed her all over her face, moving down to her warm beautiful neck, "Upstairs," she said.

"Okay," I said through our kisses. I picked her up, her legs wrapping around me as I carried her up the stairs, out lips still connected. She moaned in pleasure our bodies so close it was as if we were one.

When we got the Stella's room, she kicked the door shut. I laughed and she backed away from me for a moment, throwing stuff off of her bed. She went back to me, pulling my shirt over my head. Before I even touched any article of clothing I made deep eye contact with her, "Are you sure?"

Then everything stopped. Stella looked at me with a combined expression of guilt and sorrow. I put my hands on her face, "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm just… I went so fast and now…"

"Hey," I said smiling at her to ease her feelings, "It's okay. I'm okay, you're okay. We don't have to do this."

"I want to," she said, "I mean… soon. I just… I don't feel prepared. It's like… I want to know when it comes, so I can prepare myself you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean," I said truthfully. She nodded and looked down at me with my shirt off.

"You look really good with no shirt," she laughed. I laughed too and pulled her into a hug, her hands gliding up and down my back."

"I love you, Stella."

"I love you too." There was a pause, "What time is it?"

"Um," I glanced over her shoulder, "One-thirty."

"Wow," she said, "Bea said it was nine."

"Maybe she forgot to tell time," I laughed, "She's been pretty weird lately."

"Why?" she asked, "Y-you don't think she's-"

"No," I said, "No, I um… I think she believes she got a call from Nick."

"Really?" she asked, "What'd she… what'd she believe she heard."

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"You don't think he called?" she asked.

"No," I said, "Yes… I don't know."

"I do," she said, "I think he's going to come back eventually whether we want him to or not."

"You seem really sure," I smiled.

"Well… he wouldn't leave her for good," she said wrapping her arms around my torso, "That's what I tell myself. That he loves her enough to come back."

"Maybe," I said, "Maybe he loves her enough to never come back either."

"Joe," she whispered, "Would you leave me?" I looked down at Stella. I don't think she was looking for reassurance. I think I she was looking for the answer that would relate his situation to mine.

"No," I said, "I wouldn't."

Nick's POV

They took Kara. They took Kara and I let them. I fucking let them. Okay, okay…. I had to stay focused. She didn't give herself for me to get caught too; she didn't give up for nothing. I kept repeating it in my head, hoping it would numb the emotions rushing through me. I couldn't find the bus garage at first, making every panicking thought or action enhanced to full-out anxiety attack. What if Eli is waiting for me to show up there anyway? What happened to everyone else? Were they going to be okay?

No, I couldn't think about that. She didn't give up for nothing.

But how couldn't I think about it. They've treated me like family ever since I walked through their door and I did nothing but distance myself further. I knew this would be one big mess as soon as I met Eli.

I knew walking out on the love of my life was the mistake that triggered multiple ones. I had only myself to blame. There was nothing I could do to get anyone out of this trouble.

When I finally found the bus garage, the bus was already waiting for me. The large digital clock on the wall said it was about 11:30. We meant to leave at midnight but the bus was leaving… now. It seemed as though time went by fast anyway.

"You getting on?" the driver of the bus asked. I looked back, hoping to see some familiar face that wasn't trying to shoot me. When nothing stood out, I turned back to the bus driver. I didn't answer but I went up and handed him the ticket. It wasn't crowded but it wasn't empty. I wouldn't stick out. I took a seat by myself and leaned my head up against the window, shutting my eyes for just a moment as I heard the bus driver shut the door and began moving.

I made it.

As we passed through the rest of the city I started to actually admire it for something different. Inside here, it seems beautiful… but it's not. It was just buildings and people trying to live. The lights and the stereotypical atmosphere is what made it false… and I was leaving it. As we took a turn-around, I saw the building where I've lived for the last three months. It didn't feel right, you know. It felt like I was running away from home again.

My eyes snapped open to the sound of yelling. I could hear it stand out, even from inside the bus. I looked outside and saw that a few guys were running after the bus. The driver didn't seem to notice and fortunately kept driving. They saw me, but I didn't worry about it. Nick Bardwell had a never-ending list of records all over the place from his past families. Besides, I'm Nick Lucas now, whether I want to be or not. That's really what this was all about, wasn't it? After I while I forgot. I was Nick Lucas… and I hated it. I hated that I've been Nick Lucas since the day I was born but I wasn't given a fake name to grow up with. I didn't want to be a part of that family, the one that left me for all of these years, watching me burn.

Except for Bea; Bea only did one thing and that was love me. What would I do if she didn't want me back in her life? I guess I would just live in my own, try to live. But it wouldn't be the life I wanted… the one that had Bea in it.

Bea; it seems like the name was foreign. I miss her face, her voice, the feeling I get when I'm around her. It's like… everything was okay, no matter what happened. Everything was okay as long as she was there. I guess I didn't think about that before I left. I didn't think about her at all when I thought I was.

I would find out soon what would happen.

I would find out soon.


	36. Chapter 36

Macy's POV

"Do you even like Jake Gyllenhaal?" I asked Bea. We were at the 24-hour video store going through the terrible movies with terrible ratings to match.

"Nope," she smiled, "But we need to stall; just for a little while at least."

"Good point," I said, "I'll be in the back. Keep looking up here." Bea nodded and I went to the back room, a sea of movies in some never ending maze of walls. It was like a funhouse minus the fun (unless you consider a whole wall of pornos fun). I walked all the way in the back where I couldn't even hear the background music coming from the front.

I knew what Stella and Joe were planning. My only concern was how long they've been planning it. Bea and I understood how much they cared about each other. All it is is a way of showing love, right?

Oh no, not that eerie feeling that someone is behind me again. I tried to peek over my shoulder without trying to look too suspicious. I didn't see anyone but I wasn't even really looking. They were behind me. It was probably just another customer. But I'm pretty sure I would see someone in here. I shook it off and kept walking, falling farther back to the walls.

Okay, I was being followed. I have a woman's intellect, trust me. Someone was following me. I took a deep breath and kept walking, acting like I didn't even notice. What would anyone want from me? I wish I had a rape whistle. That would seriously come in handy right now. The worst possible person I could think of that was behind me was one of Brian's friends, coming to me for some revenge. I shivered at the thought. I just had to turn around and see who it was.

So I did…

"Oh, my God," I said quietly. I looked at him from head to toe. His appearance didn't change a bit. I took another scan of him with my eyes then realized the situation. I quickly tried to push past him, "Bea." I wasn't loud enough for even me to hear. I was about to scream her name even louder when Nick's hand clapped over my mouth. He brought me against the wall.

"Ssh," he said, "Macy, just calm down."

Nick's POV

"Hey… hey kid." My eyes unwillingly opened slowly, my blurred vision revealing the inside of a bus; I was on a bus. Oh yeah, I remember now. I didn't remember falling asleep though. I looked around and I was the only one left. The bus driver was sitting in his seat yelling at me from there, "You're in Jersey."

I stood up, my legs feeling like mush. It must've been from all of that running. _Running. Kara. What happened? _ I walked towards the bus driver, the door already open to reveal the thick but not freezing air. I looked at him, "Where in New Jersey?" I asked.

"Wyckoff," he said, "That's what your ticket said, pal. I'm no cab driver." Wyckoff… I live here.

"No," I said, "No, this is great. Um thanks." Before he could say anything I emerged out of the bus. It was a small bus stop and there really wasn't anyone here. It was the main street but it was about one in the morning. I looked around and saw the police station, the local diner, a gas station, and a few other stores.

Home… right?

I can't really remember much of here. It's like it was some blurred vision in my mind and I was trying to make something out of it. I tried to think of which way I should go but nothing came to mind. I crossed the street, reaching the street lights. Just so no one would recognize me I put my hood on my head, digging my hands in my pockets. After that, I just slowly began to walk. I would walk around here until I found where I needed to be; easy as that.

"Will you slow down!" she laughed. I stopped walking as a brunette darted past me running into the local video store then the girl who spoke, still laughing, past me, her shoulder brushing up against mine. I might as well have been invisible. The back of her head, her long dirty blonde waves, and her laugh… the one I missed so much. It was right there.

'Bea'. I mouthed the words but my voice wouldn't work. She walked into the store, following Macy… Macy. Holy shit.

I had to get in that store.

Macy's POV

"Macy," he said as I tried pushing him away again, "No, you need to calm down. I won't let you go until you are calm." I stopped fighting him and he waited a few more moments until he released my mouth.

"Nick," I whispered, "God, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you, too," he laughed.

"I'm serious," I said, "I don't… you can't-"

"I'm not," he said, "Not now."

"When did you get back?" I asked.

"About 10 minutes ago," he said. He had a backpack sitting in the corner. I looked at him and couldn't help but pull him into a hug. He hugged my tightly, "It's really good to see a familiar face."

"Where were you?" I asked, "I mean… what are you going to do?"

"I can't answer all of your questions," he said, "All I can tell you is I was in New York, living with a couple of people. I'm not sure what I'm going to do Mace… all I know is that… where is she Macy? She's here with you isn't she?"

"Yeah," I said, "Nick, I don't think you should-"

"I know," he said, "Not here."

"When?" I asked.

"Soon," he said, "Where are you guys headed?"

"Stella's house," I said, "But we're trying to stall." Nick nodded.

"How was she," he said flatly, like he was about to get a shot from the doctor but he accepted it for what it was.

"Not good," I scoffed, "Not good at all. She just got out of her rut, Nick."

"Macy?" Bea called. Her voice was quite distant, "Are you back there?" I looked at Nick then back at the area where Bea's voice was coming from.

"Um, yeah," I said, "I'll be right out." I turned back to Nick.

"Are you saying I should not show up in her life again?" he asked, "Would she be… mad?"

"No," I said, "All I'm saying is… you need to be careful with this. I don't want to know why you left and I don't want to know anything you did while you were gone. I just want you to fix it. That's it."

"Do you need some help?" Bea called.

"No," I called, "No, I'm coming." I turned back to Nick, "Okay, I'm going to send her home. Her father is on late night patrol. Don't get caught, okay? He's probably not happy."

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"You can't be here without her knowing," I said, "Just see what happens. I can't really tell you."

"Macy," he said, "What happened to your face?"

"Don't worry about it," I said.

Bea's POV

"Hey," Macy said emerging from the back room of the video store, "I didn't really find anything. But I call from my mom, said I had to come home."

"Yeah, I knew that would last," I smiled, "I'll probably just head home too. I'll give Stella and Joe their privacy."

"Good," she said, "Yeah, I mean, you're probably tired. Get some sleep." She put her hand on my shoulder, giving me some look like she wasn't going to see me again, "If you need anything, call me." It was a rather odd look but she was already headed for the door before I could question it. I shrugged and followed her out. She took a left and I took a right. I didn't mind walking home. I think the outdoor and I needed to catch up anyway.

I kept going straight until the main street was about to come to a close. I didn't really see anyone around. It was just me, streetlights… and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol.

"Hey," someone slurred. I looked to my right and saw a group of guys. There were about three or four. They looked awfully familiar. I'm sure they went to school with me, "How's it going?"

"Great," I mumbled trying to walk ignore them as best as I could. They were standing in front of some vacancy for rent, smoking and drinking. Why is it I always showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time? When I made it past them I could feel them following; well it was mostly their stench that tipped me off. I picked up the pace, making a wave of laughter pass through behind me.

"Where you goin' babe," another one of them called. They were running now because I started running. I saw the sudden shadow of one run ahead of me, blocking me off, "Hey, look. It's the sheriff's daughter."

"Why don't you hang out with us," one of the guys said, pulling me back by my shoulders. I couldn't scream. I couldn't fight. I felt so helpless; frozen. They brought me against a brick structure, still holding onto me probably for support considering they could hardly stand.

"Let me go," I grunted, trying to pry their hands off.

"Easy, easy," one of them laughed.

"I think we need to have a little fun with her, boys, don't you think?"

"No," I said. I quickly brought my knee up to one of the men's groin, making him double over in pain. I tried to run forward but another one of the men swiftly slammed me back against the wall, my head hitting it roughly. I felt warmness back there and I knew it couldn't be good. I shut my eyes and let the pain come quickly from all four of the men who were probably ready to do whatever they pleased with me.

But it never came.

Someone grabbed a hold of me, pushing the rest of them away so they could push me behind them. Unfortunately, my lack of balance made me fall back again. I kept my head down and saw the shadow of one person fighting off all four of those guys. Considering they were all drunk, I guess it wasn't hard. They were physically impaired in all aspects.

I put my hand on the back of my head, a slight-throbbing beginning to form. I don't think he hit me that hard; I was just having a major adrenaline rush. There was blood though. I could feel it in my hands even though it was too dark. I willed myself to stand up and run. I would just run and figure out everything tomorrow. I would call Macy or my dad to take me to the hospital or whatever I needed to do.

When I ran, I ran into a person. They caught me, almost like I was in an unwilling embrace. I looked over their shoulder, staring the drunk men stumbling away quickly in fear, some of them clutching their injuries in pain; this guy really roughed them up.

"Why are you always at the wrong place at the wrong time?" the male voice laughed. What? I pulled away and looked up at the brown eyes, the sad toothless smile. But I couldn't say his name. I wouldn't. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time? I always am.

I backed away, looking at Nick from head to toe. There were many things I could do. I could run, I could ask him why he's back, I could just say his name, I could… I could kiss him, or cry and run away… I could tell him things I meant but didn't mean at the same time.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," he replied. He started walking towards me but I backed up. He stopped. I looked from my right to my left, "You're bleeding."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"Don't…" I said.

"Okay," he replied keeping quiet. So here we were, standing in the middle of the street. He looked a little different, even stronger. I grabbed a hold of my composure, remembering something I said I would do… or wouldn't do rather.

"C'mon," I said.

Nick's POV

It was over. She didn't want this… any of it. She didn't want me to be standing before her. Hell, I think she'd rather be attacked by each other those drunks hanging on her. I knew what I deserved was coming now but… god, she looked so much like her. I know it didn't make sense. At the time though, it did.

She told me to come with her so I did. I didn't speak, didn't ask any questions. I went with her all the way back to town. She was bleeding but not overly so. She probably just scratched her head. When we reached her front door, I couldn't help but ask, "Did I do that?"

"Do what?" she asked. At that moment, I saw something in her I didn't see before. She was frail, thin, tired. _Yes_. I thought to myself. _You did that._

"Um, your head," I said.

"No," she replied, "No, you didn't." She opened the door with her spare key and stepped inside. It was like I was home. The only thing different about the place was the girl living in it. She had to change her habits and her thinking all because of me. She got stronger though. I could see it in her movement, in the way she wouldn't look at me. She didn't deserve this.

"I should go," I said.

"When did you get back?" she asked, ignoring me.

"Twenty minutes ago," I said after a pause. She nodded and started walking upstairs. I didn't realize that I had my backpack tight in my hand. I wasn't sure if should follow.

"Let's go," she said quietly. That's when I walked towards the stairs. She kept going forward, turning on the light to her room. I didn't feel like I had the right to enter anymore so I just stood outside. She sighed gave me a look that said it was all right. I stepped inside her room. She gently took my bag from me and set it by her window. She looked at me from head to toe, and laughed a little bit, "You look disgusting."

"Yeah," I said, feeling a little better, "Sorry."

"It's okay," she said. She went back out of her room and brought back a pile of blankets, two pillows, and a towel. Then she turned away again, bringing back a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt… my stuff.

"Where…"

"She wouldn't let some of your stuff stay," she said, "She was trying to save some money by giving away your furniture."

"Oh," I said, "Thank you for saving it." So she did think I was coming back. She still had hope. Bea nodded and handed me a towel.

"The shower is right over there," she said. She turned around and started assembling a small sleeping area on the floor, next to her bed by the window.

"You're letting me stay here?" I asked quietly, looking at her small figure. She still didn't make eye contact with me. She stopped what she was doing and straightened her posture.

"I do recall one time I said to you that I would never hurt you, that'd I'd protect you," she said. Then she looked at me, her face showing one glimmer of understanding, "And I won't break that promise tonight."


	37. Chapter 37

Joe's POV

Stella and I sat downstairs, watching TV and hoping Macy or Bea would show up. Eventually we heard a car door shut and Macy walked in.

"Hey," Stella said sitting up from her position under my arm and against my chest, "What took you so long."

"What do you mean?" she asked, "I um… I had to talk to my mom." I stood up, noticing she was nervous. There was no Bea. Something happened… something bad.

"Macy?" I asked, "Where's Bea?"

"Bea?" she shrugged, "Bea who?"

"Okay, what happened?" Stella ask, "Did someone come and take Bea or something?" Macy didn't answer and I quickly went for the door. She stood in front of me.

"No," she said, "Um… she went with… Kevin!"

"Kevin?" I asked, "Bea went with Kevin?"

"Yeah," she said, "He showed up and… asked her out."

"It's almost two in the morning," Stella said.

"Well that's just… Kevin for ya," she laughed.

"Macy," I said, "There's something going on… what really happened?"

"Nothing," she groaned, "Just… don't worry about it. Not until the morning okay?"

"Why won't you just tell us?" Stella asked. She looked at me.

"Because you'll react badly," she replied, "You'll rush over to Bea's and freak out like an idiot."

"I won't," I said. Stella already went past Macy and locked the door. She put her hand on Macy's shoulders.

"What happened Macy?" she asked.

"Joe," Macy said to me, "You're brother's back."

"Yeah," I said, "I know. He's been sulking around at home for the last week."

"No," she said, "N-not that brother."

Bea's POV

That girl said he would show up… but I didn't listen. He did call me. It wasn't a dream. I still had some hope that I would wake up any minute now. I remembered when I said I would never hurt him. I keep my promises… always. As he was in the shower, after I made his bed, I walked downstairs and started doing dishes. That's something I would do lately when I felt stressed. I didn't realize how tired I was before. But it faded after my recent attack and after Nick returned… after three months.

I should be pissed. I should be beyond angry and resistant of him. I should send him out on the street. But I couldn't. I think eventually, we'll have to talk about this… how much he hurt me. But right now, I just want to sleep. I just wanted to fall back into my living dead phase. I was happier then than I was now.

I felt tears in my eyes; who was he with? He must've been happy there considering how long he was gone. So what made him come back? It wasn't me… it wasn't his brothers. It wasn't some realization that this is where he belonged. This was something that happened on the other side; something happened where he was that made him leave.

I'm not selfish. I'm really not. I try my best not to be. But it broke me… it ripped me into pieces when I realized it wasn't me that brought him back. No, it was anything but me.

I slowly walked back upstairs, looking back in my room. I could still hear the water running in the shower so I was okay for another few minutes. I looked around my room, my eyes finally meeting that beat up backpack. Maybe…

I sat down on my bed with it in my lap. I slowly opened it and pulled out everything inside; a note book, the one used to write me all of the letters I refused to read, a phone, a roll of cash that he didn't leave with…

And my mother's picture.

I quickly put everything back in the backpack when I heard the water stop. I placed it back by the window and ran downstairs as silently as I could. I stuck my hands back in the sink and just cried… I bawled… silently and painfully.

Nick's POV

I knew this would have to be settled… now. I didn't care about anything anymore but her. Things could go back to normal over time. I had her back in my life a little bit at least. She understood one thing; that I didn't leave because of her. But she didn't understand anything and quite frankly… neither did I; not anymore.

I folded the towel, neatly and put it on the foot of her bed. I looked around, taking in every sight. I walked over to her nightstand and saw the dusty sketchbook. She hasn't' touched it in a while. There were no books in sight like there were before. It was clean… too clean.

Then I saw the backpack. It was open a little bit, not the way I left it. I sighed, and walked out of the room… or ran rather.

She was at the sink, doing dishes. The light was on. She was crying. She brought her hand on of the sink and wiped her face, thinking I wasn't there. She let out a deep breath and continued. I walked forward, wanting to touch her, wanting to console her and just tell her how much I loved her and how stupid I was.

"Bea?" I asked.

"Yeah?" she sniffled. She had her back muscles tense. I grabbed a kitchen towel from next to her and took her hands out of the sink. I placed them in the towel, drying them off patiently. She waited, not looking at me. When they were dry, I tossed the towel to the side. I nearly flicked away the tear on her cheek with my thumb, "If you're going to say you're sorry, I really don't want to hear it."

"Good, because I'm not," I said, "I know what happens from here." She started turning around but then came back and slammed her fist against the wall. She winced in pain but when I went for her she tensed back.

"You're staying with me," she said, "You can't go back to Florence because you're a legal adult and you don't have the correct finance to find your own place. For now, you stay with me."

"Bea-"

"Where did you go?"

"What?"

"I said where did you go," she snapped.

"New York," I sighed. She rolled her eyes and went for the stairs. I followed her, "It wasn't where I was planning to-"

"It doesn't matter," she said, shaking her head. I stopped her, taking her arm and spinning her around to face me. I knew it was a terrible idea and that I shouldn't have done it to begin with. I just examined the hand she used to punch the wall. There was no damage but her hands were clenched into tights fists. For once, I was scared. This feeling… it was almost unrecognizable. Feeling it towards Bea didn't make anything easier. She pulled her hands back, not roughly. She was almost hesitant. She sighed, her back against the nearest wall. Her eyes were shut, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Bea," I replied, "Don't ever tell me you're sorry again." She didn't move. It was only until after a long pause that she slid down to the floor, her eyes now open. She was somehow staring at something that wasn't there. This wasn't her. It wasn't Bea. It was what I made her; a shell with a mind deep down in darkness. She didn't want me near her.

"I'm so tired, Nick," she said. Her voice was faded, drained. I went and sat down next to her. She looked over at me, her head still limp against the wall, "I'm so tired." She was. Looking at her face even closer than before, I saw her eyes drooping, dark circles underneath them. She was pale, thinner. I couldn't look at her again; not like this.

"Come on," I said. She looked at me as I stood up, "You need to sleep." She nodded and stood up too, not letting me help her up myself.

That's when the door busted open.

It was only a half a second long when Joe looked at me. He ran at me after that, slamming me against the wall. I'm improved pretty well on telling the difference between who's trying to hurt me and who's mad at me. I didn't even fear Joe's eyes icily glare at me.

I didn't even know what Bea did between that time. I began to believe that she kept slowly moving upstairs, moving ever so slowly that she appeared as a zombie, just an old drained zombie who didn't even notice what was happening around her because her attention was full on getting what she wanted… to disappear.

"What the fuck are you doing here," he said so rapidly that I almost missed it. I had no time to retort because Bea somehow pulled Joe off me and into the parallel wall. She stood in front of me protectively, like a mother protecting her frightened child. Joe couldn't believe his eyes. "Bea," he said.

"Leave him alone," she hissed. I didn't understand. If Bea hated me, if she thinks I deserve what's coming, why was she protecting me from my brother who has every right to be angry with me?

"Bea," he said "You-"  
"I'm not," she said not as viciously now. I'm sure if saw her eyes, that devilish flame I imagined would begin to fade. She understood Joe's position and Joe understood hers because it was all the same. That made me wonder how much it took for Bea to not react like Joe just did.

Joe sighed and stepped towards Bea. I took a mental note as I watched the way he approached her. He didn't back down when her muscles tensed and her feet began to back her away a bit. It amazed me how Joe just walked to her no matter what she did. He took care of her now; not me.

"Let's go, Bea," he said.

"No," she protested.

"I'm just taking you- what happened to your head?"

"I'm fine," she said, weakly squirming away from Joe. He didn't seem to notice. He just focused on the cut in her head until meeting eyes with me.

"What happened?" he asked with a flat tone.

"I saw her nearly getting mugged," I said, "They hit her head against a wall."

"They?" Joe asked, looking at Bea.

"I'm fine," she explained, "It is only a scratch."

"Bea," he said, "What the hell."

"I'm sorry that I'm not where I should be all the time… what do you expect me to do?" Joe looked at her and smiled wryly. Then he remembered that I was sill here. Bea looked at me too, like we were strangers.

What were we now?

Macy's POV

I knew it was a bad idea to tell him right away. I knew it. I should've waited for Nick and Bea to clear things up. It would probably make things easier for Nick, helping him patch up one problem at a time. Hell knows if Nick got to Bea. That's where Joe went though, no matter how hard Stella and I fought him.

"I'm sorry I ruined your night," I sighed. We were sitting against the wall next to the door.

"It was ruined before you got here," Stella laughed. I waited for her to elaborate, "I wasn't ready. We were getting to the point and I just… I got scared." She looked at me, "Is that weird?"

"No," I said, "Not at all. I would be scared too."

"You would?" she asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. We both looked straight ahead after that.

"Do you think he's with Bea?" Stella asked.

"Yeah," I said, "I think so. I hope so… I don't know."

"Can I be honest with you?" Stella asked. I looked at her again and nodded, "I want Nick and Bea to be in love again. I don't care what he did anymore. Whatever he was thinking, he thought it was right at the time. I know it's a completely naïve statement but… I don't care."

"Why do you think I let him leave to follow her?" I laughed. She smiled, "I want them to be in love too. It needs to happen… it's the best for all of us."

"Even Joe?" she asked.

"Even Joe," I said.


End file.
